19 weeks today - I'm cured?!?!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,037
Originally Posted by Be123 
Hi guys - 19 weeks sober today. I really enjoy sobriety and things are improving slowly for me. Anxiety has gone; sleep is back; feeling fit and healthy and more able to be live like me again.
The last two weeks I've had lots of thoughts saying; 'It'll be great to drink now' or 'When you're on holiday you can drink' etc etc. you know - typical sort of AV bullshine. I'm not feeling like acting on them and someone on my monthly group gave a great example of how he'd acted on this previously...and then drank seriously for years and years!
Anyone who wants to put the boot in to my AV and remind me why what it is saying is completely ridiculous, I'd love to hear it. It may help firm up my sobriety and give me more resource in case it ever does tempt me to take the first drink.
The last two weeks I've had lots of thoughts saying; 'It'll be great to drink now' or 'When you're on holiday you can drink' etc etc. you know - typical sort of AV bullshine. I'm not feeling like acting on them and someone on my monthly group gave a great example of how he'd acted on this previously...and then drank seriously for years and years!
Anyone who wants to put the boot in to my AV and remind me why what it is saying is completely ridiculous, I'd love to hear it. It may help firm up my sobriety and give me more resource in case it ever does tempt me to take the first drink.
Plan out supports for your holiday: walking, reading and logging here often, bringing/buying non-alcoholic drinks so they’re readily available.
You are five weeks away from six months sober, that’s a great milestone to be looking forward to.
Keep posting, and know that all those positive sobriety feelings get even better!!!
❤️ Delilah
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,761
I drank after 20 yrs sober. It started out as just one glass of wine in the afternoon to calm me down so I wouldn't 'engage' my youngest when she came home from high school spoiling for a fight. In six months I was drinking all day, every day. 
Abstinence does not equal control. It took me almost two years to stop drinking again. I will never again drink cause I know where it leads. And to be honest, after over 10 yrs sober this time, the thought of drinking makes me feel sick.
Abstinence does not equal control. It took me almost two years to stop drinking again. I will never again drink cause I know where it leads. And to be honest, after over 10 yrs sober this time, the thought of drinking makes me feel sick.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
I have definitely recovered from a hopeless state of body and mind but I will never be "cured" of alcoholism. No matter how long I stay sober for I will always be an alcoholic and alcoholism is a progressive illness and continues progressing even when I am not drinking so no matter how long I haven't drunk for if I pick up a drink I have zero doubt in my mind from my own experience and tbe experience of others that I will carry on exactly where I left off or worse.
Congratulations on your sobriety 🙏💗🙏
Congratulations on your sobriety 🙏💗🙏
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 268
Abstinence for a day, or a few hours, without true sobriety is a constant struggle.
Not drinking is emotionally punishing. Alcohol is on my mind contently, and such a distraction that it's impossible to feel content.
Then finally, I'd give in and drink after I've met whatever arbitrary abstinence goal I set. Drinking felt good for a couple hours until the obnoxious effects of impairment kicked in. And the denial of abstinence made me drink especially heavily and rapidly to compensate, so I'd wake up with a monster hangover and be ********* after a few hours and behave like an ass to one degree or another.
Now, other than occasional "drinking urges," I rarely think about alcohol and can truly enjoy whatever I'm doing at the moment, free from the constant nagging distraction of desire for booze or the need to pretend I'm not drunk.
So my point is this: even if moderation were possible - it's not in my case - the willpower and discipline necessary to drink in a non-destructive way is agony. It's a constant struggle and distraction that sucks the joy and pleasure out of everything. So why not go all the way and embrace true sobriety where alcohol is simply not an option?
There's just no upside to drinking if you're an addict.
Not drinking is emotionally punishing. Alcohol is on my mind contently, and such a distraction that it's impossible to feel content.
Then finally, I'd give in and drink after I've met whatever arbitrary abstinence goal I set. Drinking felt good for a couple hours until the obnoxious effects of impairment kicked in. And the denial of abstinence made me drink especially heavily and rapidly to compensate, so I'd wake up with a monster hangover and be ********* after a few hours and behave like an ass to one degree or another.
Now, other than occasional "drinking urges," I rarely think about alcohol and can truly enjoy whatever I'm doing at the moment, free from the constant nagging distraction of desire for booze or the need to pretend I'm not drunk.
So my point is this: even if moderation were possible - it's not in my case - the willpower and discipline necessary to drink in a non-destructive way is agony. It's a constant struggle and distraction that sucks the joy and pleasure out of everything. So why not go all the way and embrace true sobriety where alcohol is simply not an option?
There's just no upside to drinking if you're an addict.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Accepting that the AV may be with me forever was part of gaining my freedom over it. Instead of becoming frustrated that I would still have these thoughts of picking up, even in the face of all the amazing things that have come my way because of sobriety, I would just learn to hear the AV, let it speak it's moronic peace, and then watch it fade. I analogize it by saying it's like an old, long gone ex-girlfriend who appears now and then to try and tempt me back. While those thoughts might have some strength, I can just know how ugly the story ends and never act on them.
The further along and deeper into sobriety I get, the more I see the AV as just a part of my brain that I roll my eyes at and laugh at. Sometimes the AV has some decent arguments, sometimes life is just hard and we all want to throw up our hands. But I ride out it's protestations and, sober still, on the other side I have a peace in my mind and body and psyche that is profound.
Keep it up. It only gets better.
The further along and deeper into sobriety I get, the more I see the AV as just a part of my brain that I roll my eyes at and laugh at. Sometimes the AV has some decent arguments, sometimes life is just hard and we all want to throw up our hands. But I ride out it's protestations and, sober still, on the other side I have a peace in my mind and body and psyche that is profound.
Keep it up. It only gets better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I hear lots of ridiculous suggestions everyday. Some come from other people, most come from my own head. In recovery my thinking has been retooled so that I let the ridiculous suggestions go in one ear and out of other ear with very little pause in-between.
"It'll be great to drink now" has turned into "It'll be so great to not drink now because I know what the results will be if I do drink". "When you're on holiday you can drink" has turned into "My alcoholism doesn't take a vacation. I know what the results will be if I do drink". Any charade or facade of drinking have been stripped away and been replaced by a realistic view of the outcome.
I can see the "ill" of the logic that would have me think otherwise. I entertain no ridiculous, illogical thoughts of alcohol as a reward, but instead view alcohol as a punishment...so in one ear and out the other. They are just thoughts, I don't have to turn them into actions.
"It'll be great to drink now" has turned into "It'll be so great to not drink now because I know what the results will be if I do drink". "When you're on holiday you can drink" has turned into "My alcoholism doesn't take a vacation. I know what the results will be if I do drink". Any charade or facade of drinking have been stripped away and been replaced by a realistic view of the outcome.
I can see the "ill" of the logic that would have me think otherwise. I entertain no ridiculous, illogical thoughts of alcohol as a reward, but instead view alcohol as a punishment...so in one ear and out the other. They are just thoughts, I don't have to turn them into actions.
Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don't serve them tea. Shunryu Suzuki
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,916
After 5 and 1/2 years of sobriety I thought it would be OK to have a beer with my steak dinner in a fancy restaurant.
Within 2 weeks I was back to where I was before, and vodka had joined the party. It took me a year of misery to finally get sober again. And it was much harder to get sober this time. Don't ever get complacent.
Within 2 weeks I was back to where I was before, and vodka had joined the party. It took me a year of misery to finally get sober again. And it was much harder to get sober this time. Don't ever get complacent.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Thanks everyone for your input, I really appreciate it.
I came to realisation this morning (one of the thins I enjoy so far in sobriety is the constant challenge and learning, although it is also pretty exhausting!). I weighed and I'd put on a few pounds and I realised my strict eating regime has gone out of the window in the last two weeks.
My eating was designed to minimize cravings rather than any other health benefit (although these were nice side effects). I was eating LOTS, including porridge for breakfast and then regularly, low sugar foods. I wasn't religious about it but it became a good habit. I experienced very few cravings.
I realised I've stopped this and I've found myself thinking of booze much more. What a donut I am! Let's go back to basics then, start eating properly, exercising lightly, practicising mindfulness and see what happens!
I came to realisation this morning (one of the thins I enjoy so far in sobriety is the constant challenge and learning, although it is also pretty exhausting!). I weighed and I'd put on a few pounds and I realised my strict eating regime has gone out of the window in the last two weeks.
My eating was designed to minimize cravings rather than any other health benefit (although these were nice side effects). I was eating LOTS, including porridge for breakfast and then regularly, low sugar foods. I wasn't religious about it but it became a good habit. I experienced very few cravings.
I realised I've stopped this and I've found myself thinking of booze much more. What a donut I am! Let's go back to basics then, start eating properly, exercising lightly, practicising mindfulness and see what happens!
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
A doctor would hate me for saying this, but just worry about the alcohol for now. That’s 90% of the problem right there. If you give up the booze, those other things will come. I eat way more now than I did when I was a drinker, and within reason I don’t put on any weight.
I’m really happy this site has hopefully showed you that alcoholism is never cured. We’re only in remission, but it’s a fantastic remission.
But give yourself some credit. You quit a few weeks ago. Those cravings will still be strong. I remember having a family problem of day 55 and really really pining for “one” beer. Looking back, that craving lasted maybe half an hour and then withered. The cravings will reappear, and it’ll take willpower not to yield, but the cravings do fade over time (a few months).
I’m really happy this site has hopefully showed you that alcoholism is never cured. We’re only in remission, but it’s a fantastic remission.
But give yourself some credit. You quit a few weeks ago. Those cravings will still be strong. I remember having a family problem of day 55 and really really pining for “one” beer. Looking back, that craving lasted maybe half an hour and then withered. The cravings will reappear, and it’ll take willpower not to yield, but the cravings do fade over time (a few months).
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,164
Originally Posted by Sober45
The science of it (IMO). I'm going to use driving as an analogy:
Addiction (or habit) is a survival mechanism. It is ingrained on the subconscious level (the part of you that drives a car without thinking).
When we learn to drive, at first, we are very CONSCIOUS…actively thinking about what we are doing.
When we start drinking, at first, we are very CONSCIOUS of its effects. We decide “this feels good”. Our beliefs about alcohol start to form.
Over time, our driving moves into autopilot (to the subconscious level). So now you can drive while listing to music and putting on lipstick. When you come to a red light, you stop without thinking because your brain knows, from all the training you gave it, not stopping will cause an accident. Did you every drive from one place to another and not remember how you got there?
Over time, our drinking moves into autopilot also. So it doesn’t matter what you are actively thinking because you have already been programmed. The drinking “autopilot” is there. Your subconscious does not reason, it just is and will continue with what it was trained to do. So now you decide, “drinking is bad”, but the drinking autopilot kicks in and goes against your conscious thoughts.
I look at like I’m in training. I have to create new neural pathways by staying very conscious of my sobriety. As soon as I relax my thinking, the door is open for the subconscious urges to creep back in. This is an actual neural pathway that exists in my brain. It may always be there but I have the power to consciously create new pathways and that is what I’m doing now.
Addiction (or habit) is a survival mechanism. It is ingrained on the subconscious level (the part of you that drives a car without thinking).
When we learn to drive, at first, we are very CONSCIOUS…actively thinking about what we are doing.
When we start drinking, at first, we are very CONSCIOUS of its effects. We decide “this feels good”. Our beliefs about alcohol start to form.
Over time, our driving moves into autopilot (to the subconscious level). So now you can drive while listing to music and putting on lipstick. When you come to a red light, you stop without thinking because your brain knows, from all the training you gave it, not stopping will cause an accident. Did you every drive from one place to another and not remember how you got there?
Over time, our drinking moves into autopilot also. So it doesn’t matter what you are actively thinking because you have already been programmed. The drinking “autopilot” is there. Your subconscious does not reason, it just is and will continue with what it was trained to do. So now you decide, “drinking is bad”, but the drinking autopilot kicks in and goes against your conscious thoughts.
I look at like I’m in training. I have to create new neural pathways by staying very conscious of my sobriety. As soon as I relax my thinking, the door is open for the subconscious urges to creep back in. This is an actual neural pathway that exists in my brain. It may always be there but I have the power to consciously create new pathways and that is what I’m doing now.
I have surrendered and accepted one article of faith in my life, and it's a big one. I have accepted on faith, without actually knowing for sure, that I cannot get away with taking a drink again. I have accepted on faith alone that I will return to a place of misery if I drink, no matter how long I've been sober. There is too much to lose, and the risk is too great. So I believe this on faith, without the need to test the waters.
Actually, this is not quite true. I HAVE tested the waters for several years over and over again every night expecting that things will somehow work out just fine if I drink. So in truth, I have have enough evidence that I cannot drink and be fine. So it's not just a matter of faith. I have also learned from experience that I can't listen to anything my AV tells me. I paid attention to it for too many years, and now know it doesn't know what it's talking about.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
If changing your diet diminishes cravings, by all means, resume the diet. 
Hodd's cravings that correlated with family trouble is in alignment with my experience. For the longest time, my brain would compartmentalize and separate drinking urges from everything else. So when I experienced that overwhelming urge to drink, I had no idea why. Now I know that if I experience any physical symptoms of stress, I need to stop and pay attention. Powering through is a grave mistake for me - it leads to drinking "for no reason."
I found that continuing to add things to my program that work for me is the best approach, so would never dissuade anyone from doing the same.
O
Hodd's cravings that correlated with family trouble is in alignment with my experience. For the longest time, my brain would compartmentalize and separate drinking urges from everything else. So when I experienced that overwhelming urge to drink, I had no idea why. Now I know that if I experience any physical symptoms of stress, I need to stop and pay attention. Powering through is a grave mistake for me - it leads to drinking "for no reason."
I found that continuing to add things to my program that work for me is the best approach, so would never dissuade anyone from doing the same.
O
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
Originally Posted by Obladi
Hodd's cravings that correlated with family trouble is in alignment with my experience.
O
O
The parent problems got worse, pretty intolerable at times, but the cravings weren’t really there so I didn’t drink. It wouldn’t have helped anyway. Now the parents are gone (relief), life without alcohol is brilliant.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 56
Be123, I feel like having a decent amount of sobriety can be a very dangerous time because that is when we begin to think we are safe from our addiction and can indulge in it again. Addiction is very cunning and baffling. All I can say is to not break your sobriety. In my experience, just saying sober is not going to cure you. You need to work the 12 Steps and do whatever else you think will help you.
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