Misssy2

Sometimes I have opinions...and sometimes people don't agree with my opinions and they feel the need to comment on them.....and it becomes irritating and frustrating to me....

Such as: I said recently that nothing can stop a craving, not God, another person, a job threat...etc....
What I should have said is....FOR ME.....

Many are trying to tell me we are not "powerless" over alcohol....when it is a FACT that alcoholics ARE "powerless" over alcohol...the whole concept of STEP 1.

Came to realize a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity....I made it to this step one time in 2005 and stayed sober for 8 years....

Once I had a significant amount of time sober....I became stronger in fight against alcohol and regained my power and sort out tools to keep the drinking at bay...for a whole 8 years....

But, there have been many times over the past 6 years that I have become "powerless" it is a thing!

So when someone comes on here and says they are going to drink or they have to drink....most of the time they have a short reprieve from alcohol...and it is their truth in the moment that they do not have the power over alcohol....(my opinion)

I don't like fighting over my own opinions and next time I have one I will make it clear that this is my opinion from my own experience...so that I and others don't end up hijacking others posts to discuss my way of thinking. I don't agree with everything people say but if it is on someone elses post I don't comment on my thoughts to their opinion...I feel those converstaions should be in private messages and let the person who posted the original post take the opinions and thoughts as they may...

Time for another break....take care of yourself...keep the plug in the jug....

ReadyAtLast

I am sorry if my post upset you, that was not my intention at all. I hope you do not leave SR

Misssy2

Thanks ReadyAtLast its not "your" post that upsets me...I am not leaving SR...just taking a break ...cause it is important for my anxiety to not go back and fourth but I seem unable to "ignore" posts that irritate me...another thing I can work on...LOL.

Dee also came back with we are not "powerless" or something to that effect.

I disagree...period..I don't need a discussion about my opinion since I know in order to start recovering from alcohol we have to accept Step 1....we are "powerless" and people who post and say they are going to drink are in that moment...still in the throes of addiction...

It is EASY to say you we "are not" powerless when you have any long term sobriety.....I have had 8 years...to where I was no longer powerless....and was able to maintain sobriety.

My thing is...I don't often see others opinions being rebutted but seems often times when I come and post on SR...someone has something to say about something I say or feel in a post and then uses someone elses post to tell me their opinions on what I said...and again...those things should be discussed privately....

If I have an issue or question with anyones opinion or experience I send a PM...but again that is just me....
No, its not you.... or just you.....and I'm not leaving SR...

Nathan57

Hey Missy - I am glad you are staying.

One thing I have learned - I don't judge anyone's recovery method. I don't think there is a one-size suits everyone recovery method. I never get involved in those threads.

I think the best you can do is tell your experience and not judge others. I know personally what works. It might not work on someone else. I do think it is valuable to see other people's methods.

Anyway, I am glad you are staying.

Nathan.

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Missy. I don't have long term sobriety btw, only a few weeks

I think on any forum if anyone puts an opinion or viewpoint it is natural others will have differing viewpoints and opinions. Like not everyone follows AA, some do AVRT, some just SR, some other stuff. whatever works for someone. It's easy to take people's comments badly at times, but sure everyone is just trying to help each other stop drinking. HOpe you stick around.

Fallow

Misssy I am sorry to hear you are upset. That is dangerous grounds for problem drinkers IMO.

Do you think you can use your frustration and irritation as a stepping stone to staying sober?

Hodd

I know where you’re coming from Misssy. I’m certainly powerless. Alcohol had me by the balls, and that grip will always be there. I just ignore it and don’t drink. I’ve lost that battle and moved on/ran away.

It might be the case that others mean they’re not powerless as they no longer drink? Different way of putting things.

But one thing that will always annoy me, but thankfully I’ve only seen this on a UK liver health forum and not on this great site, is when former alcoholics say they never have any cravings at all. Firstly, I don’t believe them, but my real beef is they confuse and upset those who have urges. It’s perfectly normal for an ex-drinker to have cravings.

sugarbear1

I understand powerlessness very well. Took me a long time, over 25 years, to work the AA steps with someone who knew how to help another person well (in 25 years, I had many "sponsors" who had no clue what to do or how to really work those steps).

We still have free will. We have to do what we can to stay away from a drink. If it means rehab, then do it. Otherwise what is the point of complaining about being powerless and not doing something about it? Sobriety means action and we act our way into living a sober life. You can do this again!!

aasharon90

I try to keep an openmind when I read other folks posts
because there maybe a lesson in there that I need to
learn from.

Many times I have had to keep my mouth quiet and
open my ears and heart to folks messages and to keep
in mind tolerance and respect of others opinions, thoughts,
motives.

What works for one may not necessarily work for me
or another. I learn to take what I need and leave the
rest with good intentions.

We never stop learning as we continue to build a strong,
solid recovery foundation to live upon moving forward.

Anna

I'm sorry you feel hurt, Missy, but that's really what a message board is about. It sounds like you only want people to post who agree with what you said. It doesn't work that way, and often other peoples' opinions can be helpful. The only thing we don't allow is rudeness or flaming a thread or post.

We're here if you decide to come back.

nez

Differing opinions offer me much food for growth. The rub for me usually occurs when I feel that they are being expressed in an argumentative style as opposed to a discussion style. An argument is to find out who is right. A discussion is to find out what is right. Even so, as long as I keep my mind open look for what can I learn, it is all good. Many times, the lesson plan is not obvious to me right up front, but the lesson is still be presented for me to take advantage of.

shortstop81

That's the thing about opinions...not everyone agrees or feels the same way, and as long as we're all respectful about it, there shouldn't be an issue in expressing that. If I've learned anything from my time in recovery, it's that there is no one single method or mindset for staying sober.

I know you may feel irritated or misunderstood right now Missy - take a breather if you need it. But I believe we're all here with the best of intentions to see each other through to the other side, and not necessarily to be "right" about anything.

biminiblue

Misssy - every one of us who are sober were powerless - are powerless - over alcohol.

It won.

I waved the white flag over six years ago. I don't get in the cage with 500 pound gorillas. They'll beat the crud outta me. I don't need to try it again, my own past experience was all the beating I need.

I hope you decide to stay on the forums, even if it's just to read. If I can quit, you can too.

PuckLuck

I hope you stick around, Missy! I know you're struggling and I'm sorry you're upset. I was hoping you would join us in the July thread.

Just my two cents (whatever it's worth). Alcoholics are the most thin-skinned, egotistical, selfish people on the planet. Keep in mind, I am no exception to this. This post doesn't surprise me because it sums up my exact feelings when I was sitting in hundreds and hundreds of AA meetings over the years. I've heard some absolutely toxic "advice" in the rooms yet I've also heard a lot of good things. There's bound to be drama, some trouble and feelings hurt when a room (or message board) of alcoholics get together. We are not well people...

We're extremely sensitive and take everything personally because we LIVE in our heads 24/7, 365... and we think we are the center of the freaking universe. I used to think that if a person glanced at me in an AA meeting all they were thinking about for the entire hour WAS ME, because I am that important (lol). Everyone and everything is plotting and scheming against me. This happened at work, with friends and family, really everywhere.

I know it's difficult, but try not to take people's opinions so personally. Take what works and leave the rest, right?

Bunker

Yes well I am certainly powerless against alcohol. It wins every time. I think I was powerless from the very first alcoholic drink I had. I managed to wrestle with the beast for many years and sometimes I considered the outcome a draw. I have had periods of sobriety which probably could be seen as some victory. Overall I lose every time and I have no doubt this will continue. For me the best I can do is to continue the struggle and try and notch up as many small victories as possible.

nez

For me, opinions are like alcohol. I am powerless over them...even my own . When I take responsibility for my actions I know that is recovery happening.

fini

Missy, it is a forum, which is a platform for exchange of opinions, amongt other things. it's for sharing experiences and discussion of points of view, in general. which hopefully will lead to wider understandings.
if i'm not willing to have others' input on what i post, it might be better for me to use the blogs, which are more like journals or diaries and get few comments.
all that said, i remember well how frustrated and irritated i got by some comments on my "stuff". in fact, i got outraged quite regularly in early sobriety.
i can still get irritated and frustrated. and learning how to participate in spite of that, learning how to "handle" myself and my irritations in new ways, has been a huge benefit of ongoing engagement on a forum.

Delilah1

Hi Missy,

I am sorry you’ve decided to take a break. I took breaks from SR in the past when I didn’t like comments made, but looking back I really took them because I planned to start drinking again.

I have learned that I can only share my experiences, because they are the only ones I can actually speak to.

I wish you luck on your sobriety journey, and hope you find a recovery plan that works for you.

Misssy2

? frustration and irritation have never been a stepping stone for me to stay sober...maybe if I went out and rode my bike that would take care of the frustration and irritation....frustration and irritation doesn't usually make me drunk...emotional trauma usually makes me drink.

Misssy2

[QUOTE=Hodd;7473116]

It might be the case that others mean they’re not powerless as they no longer drink? Different way of putting things.

Yes...this.