Misssy2

I don't think anyone on here including myself has ever said they are powerless but not doing anything about it.
On the particular day I drank on the 4th of July....I did many things about it before I caved.....I reached in my toolbox...but as far as I'm concerned without going into the details of my life....and again for "me"...I can only take so much and not being that far away from a drink....not being physically or mentally healthy enough...I was powerless...

Dee74

Hi Missy

when I see people, not just you, say things like
'nothing can stop a craving, not God, another person, a job threat...etc....'

it makes me sad because I know that pain that goes into that belief and I know personally the pain that's yet to come from more drinking.

I'd rather not argue with people. Thats not my thing,,,but when I challenge you on statements like that, it's because I believe IN you.

I believe that you really do have the power in you - you've been sober before, and you will be sober again

I don't really see any reason for you to take a break - in fact honestly it frustrates the hell out of me that anyone would need to take a break because other people persistently believe in that person's power to overcome addiction.

It's hard for me not to post in cases like these. My entire reason for being here at SR is to help people get sober & not stroke their AV - but if it helps keep you here and posting and reading I won't post to you for a while - but I'll still believe in you and your ability to stay sober

best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

D

Misssy2

I don't think anyone on here including myself has ever said they are powerless but not doing anything about it.
On the particular day I drank on the 4th of July....I did many things about it before I caved.....I reached in my toolbox...but as far as I'm concerned without going into the details of my life....and again for "me"...I can only take so much and not being that far away from a drink....not being physically or mentally healthy enough...I was powerless...

Misssy2

My post was not about someone not agreeing with me....my post was about people saying "we" are "not" powerless over alcohol....and then it was about people commenting to "me" when it isn't my post...I think it is rude....but that is "how" I think.

Misssy2

This...because I voiced my opinion on a post and a couple people wanted to express....their opinion on my opinion....I take that as being argumentative, singling out, bullying someones thoughts...I could also be extremely sensitive..I think that comes with the territory also....

Misssy2

I try to remember all this....and the first line.....true.

Misssy2

Reading this..I do think in the very beginning of me trying to get away from alcohol...I should use the blogs...because your right....sometimes I'm not even wanting input...I put my feelings out there for people who can "identify" with them....not challenge them...

Dee74

Well, I've had enough Missy

This is a recovery forum.
Newcomers don't need to hear they cannot get past cravings.

Its not bullying when you're in the wrong.

Go or stay, I don't mind - but this tipping a bucket on the community is helping no one and needs to stop.

D

Misssy2

Thank you Dee....It is so obvious that you are here to help...you know sometimes you have "annoyed" me....but I do like reading your responses to OTHERS (lol)...as you have good sobriety, good intentions and a good heart.

Dee74

you may not like me as much after my next post.

You've really annoyed me.
I'm done here.

D

snitch

What I have learnt in my 2 years if sobriety is that I try to share my experience and not give my opinion. If someone asks for my opinion I will give it, trust me I have one hahaha but my opinion isn't really going to do anyone any good but maybe my own experience will.

I am in AA. I truly get the concept of powerlessness. Once I put a drink in me then alcohol become my master, it is in complete control of me and I am powerless to stop. I also used to be powerless over that first drink. No matter how much I swore off of alcohol I would always find a drink in my hand. The obsession to take that first drink was so strong I had no power over it. That is where steo 2 came in for me. I had to find a Power Greater than me. And I did. Everytime I wanted to drink I prayed to that power to restore me to sane thinking, for I was surely insane to want to drink after thousands of horrendous experiences. Once I am restored to sanity then I put in some ACTION. Phone another alcoholic, come on line here, get to an AA meeting. Anything but drink.

There are so many ways to recover and I guess each and every person on this site who is sober has found that Power. Whether it be God, Nature, AVRT, SMART, or just deep down within themselves.

I am wondering if that last paragraph is just my opinion haha. Maybe. My experience? I HAD to find a power greater than me. Whatever works.

And if I got into disagreements with people then my sponsor would say to me "do you want to be right or do you want to be free?!". Some people will disagree with me and that is ok I can either let it go or work my programme around it.

🙏💖🙏

Steely

If we were truly powerless we'd still be drinking.

I was powerless over it in the beginning, but as my drinking progressed and my life began to further deteriorate, realised I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and I reclaimed my power.

Just as you do not like being told you possess the power, I don't like like being told I am powerless, because I'm not.

It's about ME not the grog.

My experience only.

Dee74

Missy I can't apologise for the substance of my remarks but I can apologise for the tone of that last post.
I had my reasons for going off but none of them were really your fault.

I still believe you can get sober and stay sober and whats more I believe you can do it without my input

best wishes
D

fini

that’s such a good thing to know and put out here, Misssy: the times you don’t want input.
blogs are great for that!

you know, being challenged on feelings is different from being challenged on opinions, i think. feelings just “are”, for me, and are neither right nor wrong nor misguided or ill-informed. but opinions are often formed without all available info, or often clung to because of various fears...i don’t always enjoy having my opinions challenged, but it is a valuable gift from others to me when they give me their time and energy by suggesting things i hadn’t considered in a challenging way. how or why would i ever change an opinion if i weren’t getting challenged?

i was thinking earlier that possibly you haven’t checked out the secular connections forums, or the general Alcoholism threads much...don’t know. it occurred to me that maybe you are not familiar with the many different approaches and understandings people here have of alcoholism, addiction, recovery. powerlessness or self-empowerment. it seems obvious to you that everyone is powerless over alcohol, when it is equally obvious to someone else that they are entirely powerful over stopping their drinking forever.

and those ruminations made me think that posting in the 12step section might be a less challenging experience for you, as the “identifying” you speak of is more likely there, since that is the framework you are using.

might be something to check out for you.

DriGuy

"FOR ME" helps explain that you are not making judgements about others. It's a good phrase to add to any opinion, because much of life is not the same for everyone. I usually assume "For me" is understood, but sometimes, even in writing, opinions are offered as truth when they should not be. Having said that, I think there are some truths about what alcoholics need to do to stay sober, but maybe it would be wise to make it understood that they are my truths.

Are we powerless over alcohol or not? First, this is not a black or white issue and there is plenty of gray in the mix. It might be that some people are powerless over alcohol. It might be that even with a sudden enlightenment, and sincere honesty about themselves, they cannot stop drinking. There are enough people that act that way that it in fact it may be true, but I think this is a small minority. Most alcoholics don't want to stop drinking and are in denial about the whole thing, at least at any given time. I was like that, but nothing is permanent. We may be powerless now or in the past, but not necessarily forever.

"FOR ME," I have some power over alcohol, except after I take a drink. Then all bets are off. But all I need is 'some' power. I have enough of that power to not take that first drink, and as long as I don't do that I am in control, not over everything around me, but as long as I don't take a sip, I have100% control over alcohol. That's not ultimate power of course, but it's power enough to have made my last 25 years some of the best years of my life and alcohol free.

I resist saying I am powerless over alcohol, because it represents a glass half empty point of view. I have enough power to not take that first drink, and that serves my purposes quite well. It's all I've needed to stop watching my life slide down into a meaningless existence.

Aellyce

For me, seeing the diversity of experiences/opinions and being challenged is the best thing about SR and similar forums. I'd paid professionals in the past to do that and got little else but validations - did not help at all for active addiction as I already justified my desires all the time, for myself. Here, people offer it for free.

I would agree with others who suggested that if you prefer to focus on the 12 step method alone or primarily, try to post in those forums. They are not as active as Newcomers but you would probably find more homogenous opinions and experiences there. You can also state in your OP that you are looking for aligning support and not looking for differing opinions and debate - that way people who have those intentions probably would not respond or would think more carefully how they frame their posts. Is that really useful though?

I think taking breaks can be good though if you feel that something is making your mental state worse or does not contribute to your recovery that well. It can be a bit like fine tuning a medication, IMO. Only you can truly evaluate what and how works the most effectively.

Hawkeye13

This has been my experience as well. So many roads to sobriety, and no reason not to cheer each other on, whatever path we choose.

You can do this Missy!

RecklessDrunk

I am powerless over alcohol. I didn't find the power in me so I reached out to a higher power. I also combine with other alcoholics.

I am like some flimsy cable I'm not going to hold much. I am powerless over alcohol but WE are not powerless over alcohol. When you combine a bunch of us cables together you have enough strength to support a bridge.