Al34

Weird day. Pubs reopen in the UK today.

As I type I’m at the hospital waiting for an ultrasound on my liver to see what damage has been done.

My AV is going mental with the pubs reopening.

I know wanting a drink whilst in hospital regarding the damage I may have done is irronic ans stupid. But that’s the mind of an alcoholic.

Gonna be a hard day 😞, and to be honest at the moment i’m not sure i’ll make it

Be123

Hi Al. Yeah, the bus reopening made me do a double take too. Odd feelings for me.

Im going to plough on with various observations, take what's useful, ignore what isn't.

You don't know know that today will be a hard day (sad face). Today may be a great day! It might be the best day of your life!! If you write it off as hard then it's likely it will be, it could become torture as you fight to resist.

Or you could decide now not to drink and put in a day filled with things you enjoy that will stop that. Eat really nice things. Stay in bed all day and watch stuff you enjoy. Go for a walk - whatever floats your boat. I don't know what you enjoy but do it recklessly!!!

And just don't drink...I know it may seem hard but it is the simplest thing in the world...don't lift a can you your lips

Kaily

Good luck with your scan A134.

Ignore any thoughts that suggest drinking, no pleasure to be had there, just regret!

Robbie64

Hopefully when you've had your ultrasound scan you can go back home and ride out the urge to go to the pub. I'm expecting all kinds of trouble in my local pubs so am happily giving them a complete wide berth. I expect them to be packed. One of them is already open, it was opening at 7am this morning (needless to say it's a Wetherspoons pub). I couldn't think of anything worse than watching people drink themselves senseless. You've got to gie your name and a contact number at the door on the way in and sit at marked tables. Then whe you leave you have to tell them your name and contact number again so you can be marked as having left the premises. Sounds more like torture than fun.

I was also going to suggest going for a walk too but if its anything where you are like it is here it's going to be a murky walk in rain! It's an awful day outside, the type of day where I just want to stay at home though I do need to go and do a bit of shoppinglater this morning.

flg1412

Well done on day 18 AI34. What a great achievement. I am only a little ahead of you as I type this today. My local is opening today so I made a little list of why I am going to avoid it...
- All the "regulars" will be there and getting hammered. Farmer John will have wet himself by the time I get there.
- Everyone will be used to "home" measures and are going to get rowdy with the bar staff pretty early on.
- The weather is shite and only 35 people are allowed in at a time. Cue the fighting in the town square over who goes in next!
- The bookies next door was packed yesterday so all the locals will either have winnings or losses to celebrate or commiserate
- The floor will be sticky again by lunchtime and the smell of stale beer will be there
- The most famous of the regulars will be missing since he died of alcohol induced liver failure very painfully just before the lockdown started.
- Everyone will declare loudly how much they have missed each other and social distancing will go out the window while they hug and grope at each other. What they will mean is how much they missed drinking outside the house, away from the wife's beady eyes or the husbands judgemental nod.
- I have no guarantees about any one not carrying the virus and the potentially questionable home sanitation or personal hygiene habits of ANYONE in the pub.
- I have saved money for the first time in my life (nearly 50 years) during this lockdown. I will spend it all in that pub chasing something I can never have again.
- I am not willing to throw away all the hard work I have put in over another experience that ends with shame, guilt and feeling terrible about myself.
- I am worth more than a dingy smelly overpriced watering hole where the "best" wine they have just barely makes it past vinegar status.
- I want to stay sober with all of you. Read and enjoy your words. Learn from those of you who have gone before me and trust what you tell me about this journey.
- Get into my clean fresh bedding, bathed and clean, snuggle down and ready my book. Sober, safe and alive. Genuinely alive.

We can totally do this day AI34. We can do something different this time so we have a different outcome.

Fiona

tornrealization

what a great post! All good reasons to stay away. I put the trust in what others had to say on these boards, and it really does get easier and better.

I saw your post update about the liver scanAI34. Use that as your springboard into this second chance!