taplow

Erased.
Sorry, I can't go through with it.

saoutchik

All the best Taplow.

courage2

((taplow))

aasharon90

I had to learn that it is okay to ask for help. It is okay
to share our troubles honestly if we are looking for
positive feed back to guide us in the right direction
in solving lifes struggles.

There are many including myself who have been afraid
to open up with what is holding us back from achieving
the promises that come with remaining sober.

Without airing our dirty laundry here or there, dont hesitate
to ask for suggestion to help solve situations in your life that
seem difficult to solve.

Remember, many of us have either been there, done those
same similar things some time along our journey in life. With
a program of recovery learned and incorporated in our daily
lives, we dont have to repeat those things we did when under
the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Care, understanding and support sent your way.

Anna

What's up, Tap?

taplow

Hi Anna, no I'm fine. I just love your cats when I see them.

Fusion

Tap, I'm glad you're fine. I didn't read your post because it was erased when I logged on. But when you wrote the post, you entitled it "I've got something I need to share". And that rung a mental bell for me, because it was only by sharing on SR (my relapse, hopelessness, and drinking spiral) that I read replies, that ignited a flame of hope within me.

taplow

Sorry Tatsy and Anna, it was just a joke. The idea being that people see the headline "something I must share," and then they look and there's nothing there. Just like when posting on here, I tend to misjudge things in life. If it's any interest/explanation, I was/am fairly drunk.

Coldfusion

Taplow, it's a good sign that you think of coming here when you are drinking. I hope you are able to stop drinking and live a sober life.

taplow

I know, sorry Coldfusion but I have been sober for long periods and intend to do again. I'm all contrite now look.

Steely

Awesome comedian Taplow.

Fusion

Ah I see. Apology accepted by me. There must be a part of you, Tap, that wants to stop drinking, because I don't believe you post on SR just to make jokes. I think you might want to explore the possibility of a sober-life. And if you do, my experience is, it's doable, and preferable.

taplow

I love that Tatsy, "Ah I see," to a man who thinks he's being funny. Imagine my shame in real life. Sorry again and yes I have to stop drinking forever rather than in segments.
Steely, thanks, and if you happen to be joking then I deserve it.

Fusion

My AV used shame against me as it's favourite stick, pushing me back into drinking. It liked worry, regret, envy, resentments, anger, too. It had a particular liking for calling me a lonely, hopeless loser. But shame, that was brutal. I had to ditch shame.

Have you read Brene Brown on the the issue of shame? Brene drank for years, she has a TED Talk on YouTube.

taplow

Thank you Tatsy. I'll take a look.

Dee74

I hope you stop drinking Tap - its been a rough week for you seizure wise.

D

taplow

Yeah thanks Dee and I hope you're well. I know you were a bit below par recently. People always say that don't they, "below par." I've never said it before but I'm trying it out.

Dee74

I was going to write more but my internets a bit spotty.

It was really hard for me to learn to open up - really hard - I was King Cynic - not only did I mistrust people, and not only was I really proud - but, at the same time, I thought if I opened up people might see the real me, and hate me.

I often think the alcoholics mirror is like something from Ray Bradbury or Stephen King - its the opposite of a Dorian Gray.
We see ourselves in such a bad light we wonder how anyone else can stand to look at us, let alone converse with us.

Opening up,scary though it is, helped me see the falsity of that mirror.

D

Dee74

all good now thanks Tap

D

Obladi

Hogwash. You do have something to share, tap. I understand it's hard to get to that level. I used to have a terribly hard time doing that when I was sober, and when I was drunk I'd sort of hit on what "it" was but it came out all a jumble that didn't make sense even to me. Bottom line, I guess, is that I was a bundle of feelings but couldn't recognize them, handle them, or figure out how to work on them. Hard to work on what you don't recognize, right? I'm not sure if the "couldn't" part was literal, but sometimes it was.

We're here for you, dude.
I'm glad you thought to post here even though you are actively drinking - that's progress.

O