Relapse
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
Yeah I might have 2 beers today but who knows what I would have tomorrow. As the man says let’s look at the record. It wouldn’t end well for me. 32 months today as a matter of fact. Freedom from alcohol on Independence Day. A good thing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 56
The freedom you find when you finally realize that moderating is more pain than pleasure is immense and the pain just increases until you find that truth. My wish for all is finding that freedom sooner rather than later.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hi and Welcome,
I currently have 4 and a half years sobriety. Prior to that I had several years of attempts at moderation, and short stints of sobriety. Wine was my downfall, I would convince myself that one or two glasses of wine was the norm, and was fine, the problem was I found myself slowly moving from 1-2 glasses, to three and beyond.
I used to think a few drinks was necessary to relax after a stressful day, but truthfully, the drinks only pushed whatever was stressful away for a few hours only to come rearing back the next day along with whatever stresses were waiting in the next day.
I know you say your goal is to not get drunk, this website is a great resource to help you stop drinking completely. I promise you that life is better with a completely clear head.
I currently have 4 and a half years sobriety. Prior to that I had several years of attempts at moderation, and short stints of sobriety. Wine was my downfall, I would convince myself that one or two glasses of wine was the norm, and was fine, the problem was I found myself slowly moving from 1-2 glasses, to three and beyond.
I used to think a few drinks was necessary to relax after a stressful day, but truthfully, the drinks only pushed whatever was stressful away for a few hours only to come rearing back the next day along with whatever stresses were waiting in the next day.
I know you say your goal is to not get drunk, this website is a great resource to help you stop drinking completely. I promise you that life is better with a completely clear head.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi lastorder. Don't call it alcoholism if you are not ready to hear that word, but you also used the word relapse. It is the title of your post. That R word is very much a term of art just like the A word. Nobody has ever called drinking lager and cider, but then drinking whisky when you really only wanted to drink lager and cider, a "relapse". That is simply not what a relapse is by the longest shot.
I think you are an alcoholic. Just the way you describe your drinking and so many other things. We have a nose for our own. But if you cannot chew on that yet, or if I am wrong which I often am, why not try some time with no booze at all? No lager, no boonesfarm, no wine coolers, no cider. Do a few weeks then lets talk.
I think you are an alcoholic. Just the way you describe your drinking and so many other things. We have a nose for our own. But if you cannot chew on that yet, or if I am wrong which I often am, why not try some time with no booze at all? No lager, no boonesfarm, no wine coolers, no cider. Do a few weeks then lets talk.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 20
I have no doubt I drunk way too much in the past and can see the dangers of the slippery slope. My alcohol abuse has been intermittent and also driven by session drinking over the years. However, I don't see it as a black and white scenario and for many people it takes years to develop into full blown dependance, which I don't have. In the past I have stopped for months at a time but eventually I get bored and have a drink. For me it is about making commitment not to get drunk not drink daily and stay within NHS limits currently 14 units a week, though admittedly I am closer to old limit of 28 units just now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 532
Originally Posted by lastorder 
I have no doubt I drunk way too much in the past and can see the dangers of the slippery slope. My alcohol abuse has been intermittent and also driven by session drinking over the years. However, I don't see it as a black and white scenario and for many people it takes years to develop into full blown dependance, which I don't have. In the past I have stopped for months at a time but eventually I get bored and have a drink. For me it is about making commitment not to get drunk not drink daily and stay within NHS limits currently 14 units a week, though admittedly I am closer to old limit of 28 units just now.
I think it was Steely who said nothing worse than circling a bottle of booze like a white shark and trying to control it, I can completely relate to that.
All I will say is that regardless of how long the journey takes, ultimately problematic drinking is progressive and many people function outwardly for years before life becomes unmanageable. You obviously recognize that there is a problem going on as I doubt you would have posted on SR but I cannot imagine many people will be able to provide you with a fail safe plan which will allow you to drink moderately without craving more and still enjoying it.
I was a binge drinker, I was not on a park bench - but I recognized that alcohol was a major and not positive influence throughout my life. I have four months sober now, I have 100% zero regret for putting down the bottle, life has more clarity and it feels, more potential. I took alcohol out of the equation and now I no longer need to control it.
Have a think about it, how much more enjoyable might life be?
We're all on the same slope, just at different points - but the only way is still down if the alcohol remains.
I wish you love and luck on your journey
Love Billy x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,348
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I don't see much hope for control if you're currently drinking twice what you're aiming for man.
If you really want to prove your social physical and mental non-dependence commit to not drinking for a year, not drinking for any reason.
That should be achievable for someone who's not dependent on alcohol on any level.
If the real problem is boredom, as you suggest - find stuff to do.
D
However, I don't see it as a black and white scenario and for many people it takes years to develop into full blown dependance, which I don't have......
For me it is about making commitment not to get drunk not drink daily and stay within NHS limits currently 14 units a week, though admittedly I am closer to old limit of 28 units just now.
If you really want to prove your social physical and mental non-dependence commit to not drinking for a year, not drinking for any reason.
That should be achievable for someone who's not dependent on alcohol on any level.
If the real problem is boredom, as you suggest - find stuff to do.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 56
Lastorder, I'd like to share with you what really helped me. The 2 things that enabled me to drop my addiction: 1. turning my life over to my Higher Power 2. Becoming more loving and helpful towards people.
Everyday I reaffirm that I am giving my life over to God, that I want him to come into my life, that I want to have a relationship with Him.
Becoming more loving started by posting positive messages on post it notes and leaving them in bathrooms and other public places. And then everyday I think of what I can to help someone that day or make their life easier. It has produced amazing results for me.
Everyday I reaffirm that I am giving my life over to God, that I want him to come into my life, that I want to have a relationship with Him.
Becoming more loving started by posting positive messages on post it notes and leaving them in bathrooms and other public places. And then everyday I think of what I can to help someone that day or make their life easier. It has produced amazing results for me.
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