ImNotThatGuy

I messed up after a nice run of sobriety (almost a year) thanks in part to help from this forum. No excuses. I just started drinking again, and now I'm looking at my bottom once more. I feel like such an idiot. I need help, but rehab and AA are still closed where I am so I guess I'll have to lean heavily on this forum.

That's all. I feel rotten, but I'm glad you're all here.

Surrendered19

Hey man, all is well. You know the drill. We don't drink anymore. What was happening in your head when you picked up? I'm sorry you stumbled but it is great you are on day one again. I drank hard for 30 years with no breaks, but I have learned here on SR that each time we go back to drinking after a period of sobriety, you are back down low more rapidly each time and getting back out gets more difficult. Check in throughout the day and let us know how you are feeling INTG.

Dee74

Welcome back man. Have you tried online AAmeetings at all?

D

ImNotThatGuy

Thanks for the reply, Surrendered19. I guess my head is full of frustration and anger about the whole lockdown situation. I don't really want to get into it in detail, but I was just feeling like nothing mattered anyway -- nihilistic, I guess.

When I drink I become a different person, a person I don't like. I need to rid myself of that drunken jerk forever.

ImNotThatGuy

Thanks. No, I haven't and probably won't. I'm totally uncomfortable with video conferences anyway. I think there might be an outdoor meeting in a park or something. I am going to try that.

wiscsober

Good for your efforts. You will get it. Stay close to what and whom support you.

ChloeRose63

You will always have us here at SR! Someone is listening 24/7 so keep posting!
You will get thru this and start by forgiving yourself and move forward...we have all been there.

Anna

We're here for you whenever you need to connect.

Be kind to yourself.