Hodd

Looking back, I used to be a very dull person. I was this overweight guy who worked in an office, did no exercise, had no hobbies and any trip or holiday would include alcohol. Sure I’d travelled a lot and lived abroad for years, but that was in the past, plus I’d wasted a lot of that time drinking.

The 2020 me wouldn’t bother talking to the pre-2018 me. Too boring.

And this is a new angle, a secret story. I’m happily married, but I very much admired an ex-girlfriend (from overseas) as she’d been very successful in life. She hadn’t seen me for a decade although she visited the UK a lot and often asked to meet. She didn’t realise I’d become fat, and I’d have had no confidence to meet her because of this. I really wanted to see her, though, and decided I’d try and lose some weight for her next visit. That was the catalyst for what came next.

I cut down drinking from a deadly bottle of wine a day to a more sensible but very unhealthy half a bottle a day, and I started at the gym. I had to get a personal trainer as I was 240lbs (obese) and very unfit.

The weight fell off at 2lbs a week. The ex-girlfriend’s trip was delayed a few weeks, but by the time we met (9 months after I’d cut down), I was 40lbs lighter and felt great. She didn’t even notice except to ask how often I went to the gym 😀

But I realised two things. The first was she was pretty normal. Her life was OK but nothing special. More importantly, though, I realised my life was great. Over those 9 months, I’d joined a couple of sports clubs, was training for triathlons and had a social life which didn’t involve drinking! I’d become awesome!

I’ll never forget the ex-girlfriend, but I don’t find her interesting at all any more. I’m more interesting, and so’s my wife!

I could’ve left things there and carried on being this fit guy who drank half a bottle of wine a day. That’s not much compared to many people (but it is very unhealthy indeed), but I always felt unsatisfied on that amount and wanted more. I was definitely dependent on alcohol, and anyone in that state has to quit for good which I did at the start of 2019.

The withdrawals were very unpleasant in the first few weeks in terms of anxiety, cravings and lack of sleep. This confirmed I was dependent on alcohol. Those cravings lasted a few more months. Even now I get very minor cravings, but I’m not going to risk being that boring guy too fat to meet his ex-girlfriend again.

I’d also been diagnosed with a mild fatty liver and had aches and pains. I had a fibroscan in mid-2019, and all that liver fat had gone. I’d have been heading for liver disease within just a few years.

It’s shameful that it was an ex-girlfriend who was the catalyst here. Saying that, I told the above story to a friend recently, and they said it’s quite common for people to lose weight for school reunions, etc, and change lifestyles as a result. I felt slightly less guilty after that.

Phew! Long post, but to sum up, it’s good not to be boring 😀

freedomfries

Wow good for you. I can see how that would be motivating. I wouldn't like to run into my ex-boyfriend. "Yeah so I've gained weight and I'm unemployed and I sometimes drink hand sanitizer".

But I have all these amends to make if I'm going to work the steps and I guess I'll make contact with people from the past. I should start a diet.

Sober45

Love this. I'll be married 20 years this September. I was afraid you we're going to leave your wife until I got to the end. phew! I've been sober now for almost 6 months and it's taken our relationship to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. It's like i'm rediscovering him and it's pretty damn amazing. I didn't realize I had become so boring. Sobriety has so much to offer!

Hodd

I’m a bad guy to say this about a good-hearted person, but I’m not surprised my ex-girlfriend is still single! I never wanted to meet her in 2018 with any romantic interest, but she’d become very interesting, or so I’d thought. I shouldn’t joke about such a serious subject, but if I was with her now, I’d have had to take up drinking again!

Well done on 6 months, sounds like quite a journey too. You’re awesome 👍

Hodd

Whatever catalyst works. A diet is how it all started for me. Why not make contact with these old friends?

MaximusD

Hey, whatever works! Nice read, thank you for posting.

Zevin

Great story thanks! I too was waiting for the part where you became involved with the old girlfriend, she was a psycho and started stalking your wife.
Happy to read a good ending.

Hodd

You’re welcome. Now I feel guilty about the ex-girlfriend 😀 She did no wrong at all and is 100% good. She’s just been single for a long time (you wouldn’t believe so if you saw her) and is happier that way.

She’ll never know what a catalyst she was or what a sad 9 1/2 years I’d had drinking every night.

As I say, when I was a fat boring drunk, she definitely had a better life than me. When I stopped drinking, I realised what I already was better. Unlike her, I hate taking about myself. I wrote the above with some embarrassment to show that there is life after drinking, and you’ll be surprised how good it can be.

brighterday1234

Congratulations on 18 months sober!

Fusion

I absolutely love this post, Hodd! You made a decision, had a purpose (ex-girl-friend - weight-loss) and took action. And I too read to the end with trepidation, hoping you were still with your wife.

Massive congratulations on 18 months, Hodd. Whatever the catalyst, no shame there. And incidentally, lol, I too attempted weight loss, for a school reunion!

Hodd

Thanks, Tatsy! Maybe I have a future as an epic writer of suspense 😃 In my defense, I only found her interesting as she’d travelled widely and been successful in business - whilst I’d been sat at a TV or computer drinking bottles of wine. The gap in our lifestyles was vast, or so I thought. But as I said, I realised her was life was so so and mine was better as the non-drinker I now am.

I feel terrible by the way reading this! The ex-girlfriend is one of the nicest people on the planet. I’ve made her sound bad which is not the case at all.

So your school reunion? How did you get on?