Day 2. Hello all. Feelin like trash and depressed
 

I think CuteNGay is a name worth keeping.

Keep coming back here.

You can do this.

Hi CuteNGayYay!! I agree that your username might be the best ever. But onto business. Are you drinking today? What brings you back? This thing we fight is an awful opponent. I'm so sorry about your parents. No pretty face to put on that. If drinking is causing you problems, you know what the next step is right? Is today your Day 1 or perhaps tomorrow can be? Regardless, keep posting. Nobody here cares if you are drinking or not. We are here to support each other and we are here for you. Drinking or not, keep posting and tell us how you are doing.

Heya Cutengay, welcome back and so very sorry to hear about your parents. That is indeed wretched.

Sigh . . . with the Pandemic, sober recovery is probably the way to get back to it.

Let us know how you get on.

thanks that made me smile..im not drinking today.. it was my day 2 which is always the worst from my experince.. i just feel physical awful, tired cuz i cant sleep and depressed. im in no danger of drinking when i feel like this. plus i dont have any

Hey welcome back :) good to see you. I'm so sorry for your loss and family issues. Staying sober is the best way to support and get through it.

Welcome back!!!

Hi CNGY, welcome back friend. It's good to see you. I'm so very sorry about your Dad's passing and your Mum's cancer diagnosis. I hope she is coping OK with the treatments. Yes, you absolutely need support for all you're going through. Keep posting.

Welcome back. Don't worry about changing your name etc that is just your own pride talking. I know that I for one don't think oh wow look at how long he has been trying what a loser! I think bloody hell thank God you are here and stil trying!!

Alcoholism is a horrible illness. It is a progressive illness. And it is a killer illness.

When I got sober just over 2 years ago I had to completey surrender. There will never be "normal" drinking for me. Once I put that first drink in my body I set off a craving so strong I cannot stop drinking. I just have to stay away from one little drink one day at a time and I do that by coming here and going to AA. I pray, I work the steps, I go to meetings, I talk to other alcoholics, I try to help others because getting out of self is one of the best things an alcoholic can do to help themselves I practice gratitude on a daily basis. I tried for years to get sober, alcohol had such a grip on me. Finally 2 years ago I went on a 10 day alcohol and xanax binge that nearly killed me. I threw in the towel. Alcohol was not my friend. It was out to kill me but it would settle for me drunk.

I am sorry to hear about your parents but drinking alcohol isn't going to make your mums cancer go away or help you to deal with it. Quite the opposite. 13 years ago my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was in the madness then and I wasn't there for her like I should have been. This month we discovered that it has returned and metasized to her bone and lung. It is incurable but it is treatable. I am devastated but THANK GOD I am sober today so that I can be there for her as a sober and present daughter. Yesterday afternoon, my daughter was at her dad's and I was alone and I've tried not to cry in front of my daughter and I got into bed and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed my heart out. Did a thought of a drink cross my mind? If I am honest.. yes. But it is not an option for me today and I can easily tell those thoughts to eff off and take it up with my Higher Power as there is nothing that bad that a drink will make better.

You can do this. If I can you can. These next few days are going to be rough and as I am sure you know yourself there is no way round them you just have to get through them but the good news is that you never have to feel this way again.

Stay close, get your head on the pillow sober tonight.

❤🙏❤

Heyyy I do remember you Just here can't sleep in my head :/ thanks for your comment

thanx for this thoughtful comment it is really helped have some hope when I felt hopeless laying here not able to sleep n feeling depressed :tyou

CNGY, I lost my Dad 16 years ago in his mid 50's no fault of his own. One of the hardest things I have been through. Make a plan for when it gets hard. You said now is not when you have AV activity so use this time to plan for when you do.

I hope you got some sleep last night. This can be the beginning of a permanent recovery if you work at it. For me, going to lots of AA meetings and posting here did the trick in early recovery.

Good idea. Its in my thoughts what to do. A little bit harder with Corona. My long sobriety since I started drinking involved here, AA, and getting into a church. Sorry to hear about your Dad. I guess Cancer is kinda no fault of my Dad too even though he smoked. My Dad was stubborn and never quit though. Thanks for your comment.

I'm so glad to see you, Cute - but very sorry for the sad time you've been through. :hug: Prayers going up for your mom.
Please stay with us - it sounds like you're ready to get free again. Nothing good comes of it - but I faltered a few times too before kicking it out of my life.
It's your Day 3 now - hope you feel a bit better & more hopeful.

Hi, and of course I remember you, and it's good to see you back. :)

I'm really sorry about the loss of your Dad and about your mother's illness.

I'm sorry you're struggling, and I hope you continue to read and post here for support.

Sorry to hear about your parents. I totally agree that this site is great for during the pandemic as you still have so much support while not being able to do much!
hang in there :)

OMG...someone who drinks like me....I never thought someone could drink like I do....that is what it is...a frigin bender...and I do the same thing...I can't even open the computer till around Day 2...never take a shower till around Day 3....its horrendous...I feel your pain and keep going....I have 7 days...today my shower felt like a shower...and not chore.

My Dad died in March....I know how you feel...and having a sick Mom is a lot of pressure too...it only makes our emotional state worse and we drink....but I was drinking before my Dad died too...we drink cause we are alcoholic and this is how we cope....Get better.

Hey Missy Yes Exactly!!! Its definitely horrible... today is day 4 and things are much better. i think i slept a bit. and I'm glad tomorrow is day 5 which is usually where i start feelin mostly normal. I'm just glad ill feel normal come July 4th as it is my Mom and Dads fave holiday and I also loved it..Its my goal. I won't have any triggers as I usually go for a while before thoughts come again.. I cant believe 6 months is gone