Fusion

Please go easy on yourself, Aellyce. From what I've read back, you nipped it in the bud, didn't you? That's highly creditable. You could leave it in the past mentally, and maybe ask someone else to takeover mentorship? I don't know, you must do what is right for you, and him.

Aellyce

Thanks Tatsy. I did and I am pretty certain this particular story won't continue and won't need drastic interventions. I just want to prevent it from happening again, not only for the sake of the other people but also my own. Because, as I said, this is highly repetitive for me and whatever I get out of it now is not so satisfying... I came here to make my first post to complain that it triggered alcohol cravings and that is dangerous for me as well. I would always know how to find people for this type of engagement, whichever side I am on... I smell them not only 6 feet apart but from many miles however bad that may sound. So the effort I am trying to make here is for the future mostly, for prevention - that can only serve everyone well. Being a bit hard on myself (and others doing the same to me) does help, otherwise I easily just snap out of it, move on... until (most likely) next time. You know: relapse prevention.

Steely

We have a High Court judge here under scrutiny for inappropriate behaviour toward young female "Associates". These are young lawyers, not long out of law school, creme de la creme of graduating classes. Chosen to be "Associates" to judges. Become judges themselves eventually given their academic records. Become politicians, etc.

Most have left the law because of the way he treated them. They had nowhere to turn. Him, a High Court judge. He held their careers in his hands.

All I can see is a young fellow wanting to complete his PhD. He needs no impediment.

That's my view of the matter.

And always the best.

courage2

On the other hand, having been through it myself -- and having had a lousy advisor who had never taken on a doc student before, was going up for promotion, and was moody, irritable, and with whom in an "intellectual" argument I had to back up and start calling him "Prof XXX" again 3 years in...

There wasn't anyone else with the right qualifications to be on my committee. The only thing I could have done was to switch advisors within my committee, which would have caused at-the-time friction between them to soar, and put me worse off. I found a senior faculty member who was in a different department who helped me deal with it, in confidence.

And I knew a woman whose advisor stepped away for unknown reasons, and she had a terrible time dealing with totally changed expectations.

From all the doc students I've known, it's a rare one that hasn't in some way, major or minor, had a hard time getting through the dissertation process emotionally. Some hold on to grudges for their lifetimes. When I got sober, my adviser was a major resentment that I had to address.

So I'd say, Aellyce, this is your side of the street. Clean it up and keep it clean. No harm done so far, or no bumps he can't recover from. Just get him through with the kind of experience and product he can be proud of. Remember who you aspire to be. You are *not* supposed to have personal relationships with your advisees, and they're *not* supposed to remember you fondly -- just with respect.

Aellyce

Do you have more info to share about this story, Steely? Maybe a link to an article or social media discussion, in case it was a really big deal that became public, as many of these types of stories receive a lot of publicity these days? Or just say more. I would be very interested in knowing more details of what happened, what this judge did exactly to affect the associates in such a profound way, and multiple of them. There are many stories out there about serial "predators" who are highly visible due to their social status and thus highly scrutinized when caught successfully, but in my specific professional field, serial misconduct is still rarely discussed and when it is, usually it's for explicit sexual behavior specifically. The other common theme these days in my field is young females or people of color discriminated/mistreated by various types of supremacists who have dominance, either because of their individual status/power or because the instigators are in majority. I'm curious what someone can do to make several young professionals leave a promising career altogether due to their acts. Did he cross their career advances directly, or did the associates give up because they could no longer tolerate the stress?

Aellyce

I think this is key, thanks courage. No need to complicate it much further.

I also had a very tough thesis advisor back in the day, who drove several grad students to the verge of nervous breakdown. Not with engaging with them personally but with hyper-criticality, with seemingly not knowing and/or not acknowledging what a young trainee is capable of and what is beyond their level of experience/knowledge/maturity. He would criticize almost everyone's work that way, saying explicitly things like they could not think, were lazy to think, or lacked the ability. I never saw anyone dropping out during my time, but at least two took a break close to their dissertation defense, unsure that they would return... because he was scrutinizing them all the time. He did somewhat similar with me as well in my last 2 years, but I mostly just listened to his criticisms and tried to incorporate them and do better... or just plain ignored. I definitely do not remember him fondly, but with respect... because he taught me a lot of important things about how to be rigorous, not to take shortcuts, and how to be self-critical for the sake of what comes out of my hand. I will appreciate those lessons forever, but I know that the more emotionally sensitive ex-students still recall those years with a hint of PTSD. But, as I said, he never engaged personally... not that I know of. Those who alternate between overly friendly and hyper-critical/condescending are the worst IMO and I have seen plenty of those as well.

Steely

His name is Dyson Heydon, Aellyce. You will find a string of articles about the allegations if you Google. Other judges were aware of complaints being made, but did nothing. What else is new when it comes to power and control? They stick like shite to a blanket.

Pleased to report that his imperious look from before has now changed to a creepy disingenuous look of embarrassment. And only so because he was caught.

The women found the courage to say MeToo. Waiting to see what transpires.