least

I hope you get some help to deal with this overwhelming depression you're stuck in.

ReadyAtLast

I hope you can get to the hospital and get some help soon WL.

Fusion

Hi WL, sounds like a worrying situation you're in right now, so I hope you reach out and seek some 3D help, to alleviate the worry. You said you'd visit a hospital, sounds like a good idea, maybe they can help. Please stay safe and post here, there's a lot of people here in your corner, if you read back.

Hevyn

Adding my concern to all the others who care about you, WL. Please seek help for yourself. There has to be a way to get well and enjoy your life.

BeABetterMan

To an outsider looking in it sounds like you are having some delusions. Have you ever been diagnosed with schizophrenia? Are you supposed to be taking meds for any mental disorders? When I was in detox once I got to know two guys pretty well. One had schizophrenia and the other had manic disorder. When they weren’t on their meds they often had thoughts similar to yours that there was a grand conspiracy afoot against them. But they didn’t take their meds because they didn’t like how the meds numbed them out so much.

Probably a good idea to talk to a mental health professional.

Steely

Sometimes excessive use of alcohol (over time) can create paranoid delusions and is misdiagnosed as schizophrenia. If the drinking stops and medical help is sought it can be remedied. Maybe this is what is happening WL? Are you, have you been drinking? No shame if you have. Just seek help.

Everything could be fixed if you get yourself to the doctor.

Everyone can see the distress you are in. We care. And it can be fixed.

Verdantia

I and others care a lot about you WL. I know what you are feeling is very real to you and it sounds absolutely terrifying. I can't give any medical advice, but I have dealt with schizoaffective disorder before and felt and experienced similar things to what you are describing. Please head to the ER--they will help you to deal with this--you don't have to suffer; I got help and my life now is so much better. Sending you all the best. You are important. You matter.

Lines

WL - your an inportant part of the community here. I really appreciated the replies to me when I first arrived. Things turn on a dime, you never know what good things tomorrow holds. All you need is a little faith, and a little help sometimes. Check in to let us know how your doing.

Dee74

WL has checked in on the may 2020 thread.

D

Steely

I'm glad you are posting WL. Worried about you.

Thing will improve with time. Life can be good if we allow ourselves to be.

EndGameNYC

The way you've been describing it, the story is going to have a tragic ending. It doesn't have to be that way.

You're dealing with a lot of things at the same time which, in turn, increases the level of stress you're experiencing. That's a difficult thing to do. Anyone would feel overwhelmed.

I'm confident that you could get some real help by reaching out to a counselor or a doctor for some support. You don't have to go through this alone.

Houstin

Hi WL,

I don't doubt for one minute that everything you say is true. The thing is though it's causing you more stress than most of us could ever imagine. For now try living in the moment and understand that time is an illusion, try going to bed at 9:00pm and then waking up at 7:00am, that's 10 hours of time passed which will feel like seconds.
Try and enjoy the days ahead, focus on stuff you like doing and remember >>> https://youtu.be/eVTXPUF4Oz4

Wastinglife

Disregard. I was on sedative medication and half awake haha. I have a history of sleep-walking. This was my dream or something.

Some facts mixed with whatever I was dreaming about.

Steely

Just so long as you're ok WL.

Good to see you back.

FreeOwl

WL - this thread seems to suggest that a close friend / ally could be very useful to you.

Who might you turn to about this?

Sedatives or not - it's concerning and I think you should be consulting with medical professionals.

Hang in there!

Obladi

WL, there's no "ha ha" about this. Whether you were awake, half-awake or sleeping, you were clearly terrified. Should you be taking psychotropic medication? Are you? I can't imagine it's ok for you to be taking sedatives of any type, but I'm not your doctor so I certainly don't know.

I do take psychiatric medications and have learned that I simply must keep taking them and stay away from other chemical agents that impact my brain. Doesn't matter if I'm feeling better, doesn't matter if I'm too tired or lazy today to take them, I must take them. If I don't, it doesn't take long at all for me to completely decompensate into that horrible pit of misery that's my own personalized brand of hell.

I want you to get better because I care about you. Never mind that we're strangers separated by at least several hundred miles - I feel like you really want to get better, too but something is preventing you from taking that leap.

Wish I had some magic words here but I don't.
Just... could you please take care of yourself? It's really hard to begin with, but I promise you it does get easier to do so.

Wastinglife

Benadryl and I may have Coronavirus. That's all. Been so sick and quarantining. I am fine. I vaguely remember the post.

prettiekittie

this is what happens to me. If you’re drinking, that probably explains the delusions.

prettiekittie

Should have read ahead. I’m glad you’re ok! Hope you feel better soon.

Steely

I hope you've stopped drinking WL. I once saw a huge tarantula on my arm, and as much as I tried couldn't change it into a butterfly. Fortunately I knew it to be an hallucination. Next step would have been to believe it to be true. Not the same, but it was terrifying.

Wish you change your username to LivingLife. ❤️