Time for change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 2
Time for change
Hello everyone,
First time poster - and finding it incredibly hard just to take the step of writing this. I'm in my early thirties and have been a daily heavy drinker since my late teens, at the moment, and for the past few years, that means most of a bottle a Whiskey a night with maybe one day a week off if the hangover is bad. I never drink during the day, never drink drive, and have always managed to hold on to a great career and a great family (i.e very capable of pretending everything is fine), but when everyone else has gone to bed I'll dig out the bottle and drink half of it in the space of an hour before passing out.
I've seen a good friend learn the hard way after they spent 6 months in hospital and then a further 6 in rehab; they are now a few years sober and I feel like that is a change I need to make now before I follow their path. I've done plenty of "dry Januarys" so know that nothing bad or scary will happen, and that I have no excuses. In fact I think the knowledge that I've so far been able to hold it all together, and that I can be sober for a month if I try, it part of what has stopped me trying.
Lots of interesting things to read on the forum, so let's see how this goes... I think just writing this has been a positive step because it has made me stop and think.
tl;dr - picked a username based on how my brain feels sometimes
First time poster - and finding it incredibly hard just to take the step of writing this. I'm in my early thirties and have been a daily heavy drinker since my late teens, at the moment, and for the past few years, that means most of a bottle a Whiskey a night with maybe one day a week off if the hangover is bad. I never drink during the day, never drink drive, and have always managed to hold on to a great career and a great family (i.e very capable of pretending everything is fine), but when everyone else has gone to bed I'll dig out the bottle and drink half of it in the space of an hour before passing out.
I've seen a good friend learn the hard way after they spent 6 months in hospital and then a further 6 in rehab; they are now a few years sober and I feel like that is a change I need to make now before I follow their path. I've done plenty of "dry Januarys" so know that nothing bad or scary will happen, and that I have no excuses. In fact I think the knowledge that I've so far been able to hold it all together, and that I can be sober for a month if I try, it part of what has stopped me trying.
Lots of interesting things to read on the forum, so let's see how this goes... I think just writing this has been a positive step because it has made me stop and think.
tl;dr - picked a username based on how my brain feels sometimes
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,461
Welcome and I'm glad you decided to post. 
It sounds like you're ready to stop drinking for good and you will find lots of support here. Do you have a plan in mind for how you will stop drinking and how you will stay sober?
It sounds like you're ready to stop drinking for good and you will find lots of support here. Do you have a plan in mind for how you will stop drinking and how you will stay sober?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Welcome.
Continue to listen, learn, absorb and apply all the information
about addiction and some sort of recovery program to your daily
life to achieve sober success. To also achieve many of lifes
rewarding gifts.
My journey in recovery life began 29 yrs ago at the age of 30,
a stay at home mom and wife. Family stepped in placing me
into the hands of those capable of teaching me about my
addiction and it affects on my own mind and body as well
as those around me.
A 28 day rehab stay allowed me a good start to let those
toxic poisons to leave my body and begin absorbing helpful
knowledge to set me on my own recovery path to learn
how to remain sober each day moving forward.
I took that knowledge and held on tight as I began building
a strong solid recovery foundation to live my life upon for
a many one days sober ahead of me.
This coming Aug. 11th and God Willing, will mark my 30th yr
of continuous sobriety. With the AA program of recovery taught
to me and learned over the yrs. I remain teachable to learn
new exciting ways to enjoy life today with health, happiness
and honesty.
You can also become just as successful in your own quest in
life and recovery just as so many have done already. All it takes
is one day at a time and hold onto all your recovery lifelines
for lots of support, care and understanding.
Continue to listen, learn, absorb and apply all the information
about addiction and some sort of recovery program to your daily
life to achieve sober success. To also achieve many of lifes
rewarding gifts.
My journey in recovery life began 29 yrs ago at the age of 30,
a stay at home mom and wife. Family stepped in placing me
into the hands of those capable of teaching me about my
addiction and it affects on my own mind and body as well
as those around me.
A 28 day rehab stay allowed me a good start to let those
toxic poisons to leave my body and begin absorbing helpful
knowledge to set me on my own recovery path to learn
how to remain sober each day moving forward.
I took that knowledge and held on tight as I began building
a strong solid recovery foundation to live my life upon for
a many one days sober ahead of me.
This coming Aug. 11th and God Willing, will mark my 30th yr
of continuous sobriety. With the AA program of recovery taught
to me and learned over the yrs. I remain teachable to learn
new exciting ways to enjoy life today with health, happiness
and honesty.
You can also become just as successful in your own quest in
life and recovery just as so many have done already. All it takes
is one day at a time and hold onto all your recovery lifelines
for lots of support, care and understanding.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,519
Great to meet you, HB. I felt all alone with the struggle until I found SR. We're here for encouragement as you prepare to change your life.
I was the same type of drinker when I was in my 30's. Because I did nothing to stop the progression of my dependency I ended up drinking all day with a ruined life. When I was younger I, too, never drank during the day or drove drunk, etc. All the things I swore I'd never do ended up happening. I spent years insisting I could control the amounts I drank. It wasn't possible. You've made a great decision to take a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life. We're glad you're here.
I was the same type of drinker when I was in my 30's. Because I did nothing to stop the progression of my dependency I ended up drinking all day with a ruined life. When I was younger I, too, never drank during the day or drove drunk, etc. All the things I swore I'd never do ended up happening. I spent years insisting I could control the amounts I drank. It wasn't possible. You've made a great decision to take a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life. We're glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
One of my many, many failed attempts at sobriety was when I was in my early thirties. I am 62 now and maybe found it this time with the help of SR. Please don't wait as long as I did! Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by HieronymusBosch 
I never drink during the day, never drink drive, and have always managed to hold on to a great career and a great family
Sorry for the heavy response. I wish I quit before I turned 40, though I'm thankful every day for saving myself. I hope you can do the same. Welcome to the posting side of things.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 2
Hi all - thank you so much for the encouraging words and the personal stories, they mean a lot and I don't take any of this lightly. It has probably taken a few years just to build up the courage to post and to acknowledge the problem, I know that the main reason that I've never been able to stop drinking (or never made a concerted effort) was because of my artificial boundaries, and truth be told I think the impact on my career would have been much worse than it has been if I wasn't self-managed - I can get out of bed at 11 with a terrible hangover and nobody really notices so long as I get the work done. I'm really hoping that by being honest with myself, and with you, that I can change things now before they get any worse.
My last drink was on Sunday night and I intend to start one day at a time. My biggest trigger is late nights, I am always the last person to bed and I have always struggled with insomnia. For these first few days my goal is to be the first to bed and to find something (yoga is the current plan!) that relaxes me enough that I can try and get to sleep. Some nights I know this will work but I also know that on others I will still be awake at 4am knowing that a drink would solve the problem. I'm sure there are other triggers as well.
It is inspirational to meet so many of you who have succeeded.
- HB
My last drink was on Sunday night and I intend to start one day at a time. My biggest trigger is late nights, I am always the last person to bed and I have always struggled with insomnia. For these first few days my goal is to be the first to bed and to find something (yoga is the current plan!) that relaxes me enough that I can try and get to sleep. Some nights I know this will work but I also know that on others I will still be awake at 4am knowing that a drink would solve the problem. I'm sure there are other triggers as well.
It is inspirational to meet so many of you who have succeeded.
- HB
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,404
One day at a time is a wonderful mantra to live by. It is the key to contentment and indeed sobriety in my experience. Stay close to SR and do everything you can to increase your chances of success by reading and immersing yourself in recovery from alcoholism.
There is an incredible life available in recovery from alcoholism and I can assure you it’s far more rewarding and enriching than my life drinking ever was. If it wasn’t I’d have not stayed stopped!
There is an incredible life available in recovery from alcoholism and I can assure you it’s far more rewarding and enriching than my life drinking ever was. If it wasn’t I’d have not stayed stopped!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Good to have you here and congratulations on making the decision to change things. It really is worth it. There is a wonderful community here and I'm sure you will learn a lot from the folks who have that bit more knowledge. I certainly am! 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
I keep saying it here because it has changed my life. I have the Calm app and it has some guided meditations that have helped me get sleep even on day 1. You just say there and it keeps your mind from wandering and then before I know it I am asleep.
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