pcraig71

**Graphic** description ahead.
As much as I hate hangovers, they are my saving grace. Every time I drink I suffer through a hangover the next morning. Now in my 40's the hangovers are horrific. And because of those hangovers, I had to stop drinking because they were getting debilitating. So, when I fall off the wagon every now and then, the hangover is what slaps me back into reality not to do it again.
My worst hangover is what made me stop drinking. After guzzling beer all night. I was so sick that I vomited over the side of my bed and it stayed there until the next day. I had also had soiled the bed and laid in it until I woke up. (I later found out that beer was causing me all types of gastrointestinal issues). Sometime during the night, I scratched my eyeball. So on top of the hangover, every time I blinked I was in agonizing pain. So bad was the pain, that the whole side of my face was swollen. Standing in the shower, I had to hold myself up as I was shaking and dizzy. I tried to go to the grocery store for hangover remedies but almost passed out going to the car. So, I ordered food delivery and when the delivery guy got a look at me, the look on his face was shock. In reality, I should have gone to the ER. It took me 3 to 4 days to be able to function properly.
Sorry for the gross details, but I have to embarrass myself in order to learn my lesson.
I think it was Jimmy Buffet that said that when the hangovers were worse than recovering from surgery, he knew it was time to stop.
I feel angry for all of those lost days lying in bed recovering and tired of missing days of my life. Drinking, for me, is equal to deliberately poisoning myself. So, I am just an idiot if I drink anymore.

least

I hope you can get sober for good so you'll never have to suffer thru another debilitating hangover again.

Steely

Jimmy Buffet was right. Shocking stuff.

Really glad you are here and talking. We are used to gross. It doesn't have to be that way anymore.

Silver11

I’ve had many days like that. A lot of worse days too. I can’t imagine going back. That said I was stuck for a long time. It’s true, things get so much better once we leave it behind.
Wish you well!

Dee74

welcome back pcraig

D

RecklessDrunk

I was remembering my first hangover today. It was anything but a hangover I guess. It was a wonderful moment at the time in my eyes yet maybe the worst thing for me. I was 14 years old and drank beer until I threw up. That next morning the sun was so bright and somehow I dont remember being in any pain. Quite the opposite actually. I was a class clown and pretty good at disguising it but I lived much of my life up to that point with constant fear and anxiety. Restless, irritable, and discontent. The night before I had found something that made all of that go away. I was truly confident, I didn't fear anything, I loved myself I loved others. I had found what I thought was the answer I had been looking for all my short life.

Fast foward another 27 or 28 years. This hangover was day 1. Had I known it was my last drink I would have had another! This particular Sunday I hadn't even been drinking tremendously heavy on Saturday. That Friday I had been arrested on a dwi and felony drug charge and a bunch of more ticky tack stuff. I was functioning so I had built a career but that was in serious jeopardy. Will work find out? I couldn't handle the anxiety. I knew a drink would fix it but... how do I sit still at work on monday if I drink tonight and have this kind of anxiety? So I ran about 5 miles to try and quiet it a little. I didn't drink because I couldn't imagine making the anxiety any worse. Somehow I got through it to tuesday and afternoon and met with my lawyer. The one that got me out of a dwi 20 years earlier. He sent me to AA that night. I went home and dumped out the remaining alchohol. I had as much hope in sobriety as I did in drinking as a 14 year old. The drinking was what it was. It worked for me back then and for better or worse it shaped much of my life. For a time it relieved my alcoholism but that's over now.

Gettingcloser

I feel the same way....my hideous hangovers and complete disfunction helped me make the critical decision to quit drinking for good. If they were even slightly less awful I might not have been so successful.

Hope1989

Don't be sorry for the details. It's better to get all of that out of your system. And fortunately (or not?) I think most of us can relate.

The important thing is that you actually be kind on yourself.

lessgravity

After reading your post title I started to think back on my last, several and many years of horrid drinking. It's not hard to conjure up the images and feelings of desperate panic, shame, pain, misery and waste that my drinking involved, especially in the end years. But then I stopped myself. Those days are gone. Those books are closed, never, ever to be reopened. I am a new, better, clearer, more peaceful, stronger, more confident, healthier, wealthier, braver, wiser, more responsible, kinder man than I ever was as a drunk. Rehashing my mornings and days of hungover brutality simply serve no purpose. And these days I am only interested in things that serve me. Get sober for good and you can finally choose never to look back again.

Gabe1980

I can relate. I have more than a few horror stories, like most of us do.

It just makes me more sad than anything now. What a waste and what a traumatic way to live; all of the pain, shame and tremendous guilt, breathless anxiety, self-hatred.......it just goes on and on.

Thank God - no more. I'll settle for sadness looking back and gratitude looking forward.