Why do it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 25
Why do it?
Hey,
I have really enjoyed reading the posts over the last few weeks. Fair play to everyone regarding their sobriety.
I'm 122 days sober today. I realised I might have a problem when I lost my job a few months ago.
I was under a lot of pressure in work and went daytime drinking and missed a scheduled work flight the next day.
Prior to this there was a lot of crazy stuff going on in work and I wasn't making my sales so I thought I would be fired so handed in my notice that morning of the missed flight.
Since then I've gone through AA and currently doing smart recovery. I enjoyed AA but haven't really kept it up after I finished the 12 steps.
I enjoy Smart recovery to a degree but haven't gone through the workbook.
I just feel like what **** does it matter. I mean it'll more than likely live longer but will I enjoy it?
I never really thought I had a problem with alcohol before I left that job but have thought more and more and realised that everything I did revolves around alcohol. Where I did work there was a free beer taps and I spent probably 6 days a week drinking.
But I have to think now " is it that much of a problem with alcohol"? Because I feel like there's a hole inside me without alcohol.
At least alcohol will give a reprieve from feeling like ****.
Sorry for bringing anyone down but feel like screaming sometimes because I've messed up with life and at least alcohol will help.me forget.
I have really enjoyed reading the posts over the last few weeks. Fair play to everyone regarding their sobriety.
I'm 122 days sober today. I realised I might have a problem when I lost my job a few months ago.
I was under a lot of pressure in work and went daytime drinking and missed a scheduled work flight the next day.
Prior to this there was a lot of crazy stuff going on in work and I wasn't making my sales so I thought I would be fired so handed in my notice that morning of the missed flight.
Since then I've gone through AA and currently doing smart recovery. I enjoyed AA but haven't really kept it up after I finished the 12 steps.
I enjoy Smart recovery to a degree but haven't gone through the workbook.
I just feel like what **** does it matter. I mean it'll more than likely live longer but will I enjoy it?
I never really thought I had a problem with alcohol before I left that job but have thought more and more and realised that everything I did revolves around alcohol. Where I did work there was a free beer taps and I spent probably 6 days a week drinking.
But I have to think now " is it that much of a problem with alcohol"? Because I feel like there's a hole inside me without alcohol.
At least alcohol will give a reprieve from feeling like ****.
Sorry for bringing anyone down but feel like screaming sometimes because I've messed up with life and at least alcohol will help.me forget.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
More booze to forget the past ? Why forget the past ? It's over , you can leave it be and move forward.
The biggest danger is more booze will definitely help facilitate the forgetting of your present and future, which will be your past at some point and then require more booze to forget. I doubt more booze is the best answer.
The biggest danger is more booze will definitely help facilitate the forgetting of your present and future, which will be your past at some point and then require more booze to forget. I doubt more booze is the best answer.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,940
Since giving up alcohol 18 months ago, I’ve gone from slob to triathlete and am about to start a major career change. I didn’t know any of this would happen before I quit. I surprised myself. There’ll be no nice surprises as a heavy drinker, just boredom, disappointment and failure.
Coffee Snob
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 808
Guess everyone's why is different...
My why is because I cannot function as a productive member of society if I am drinking. Actually, I can't function at all when pick up. I'll end up dead or on the street or in jail if I go back to it. I'll take the ups and downs of living life on life's terms over those 3 outcomes anyday.
My why is because I cannot function as a productive member of society if I am drinking. Actually, I can't function at all when pick up. I'll end up dead or on the street or in jail if I go back to it. I'll take the ups and downs of living life on life's terms over those 3 outcomes anyday.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,201
Congratulations on 122 days sober Woodwall, good going.
This is just my impression but there probably IS some sort of "hole" or something missing from your life and I feel sure that you are masking it with alcohol. I do not believe the missing thing to be the alcohol itself. Is that a possibility?
When I was still socially drinking (before I became a kamikaze solo alcoholic) I often assumed that everyone else's life revolved around booze in a similar way to mine but once I had stopped for a time I got to understand that actually most people do not live for drinking time even if they are not tea total. There is life after booze.
This is just my impression but there probably IS some sort of "hole" or something missing from your life and I feel sure that you are masking it with alcohol. I do not believe the missing thing to be the alcohol itself. Is that a possibility?
When I was still socially drinking (before I became a kamikaze solo alcoholic) I often assumed that everyone else's life revolved around booze in a similar way to mine but once I had stopped for a time I got to understand that actually most people do not live for drinking time even if they are not tea total. There is life after booze.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I had to do more than just not drink. I had to build a sober life I loved, and didn’t want to escape from. Being in the middle of a pandemic is an extra challenge but I still love my sober life.
I reconnected with the real me again and discovered a sense of purpose. I think those are good things to find, COVID or not.
what do your SMART mates say about it?
D
I reconnected with the real me again and discovered a sense of purpose. I think those are good things to find, COVID or not.
what do your SMART mates say about it?
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
The past is the past. Think about your future. Think about what it might be with alcohol and what it might be without. One thing is for sure, it will be worse with alcohol. There is something that needs to be dealt with there I think. Ideas what it might be. The hole is caused by something you might want to deal with.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 25
Sorry for the delay in responding. Thanks for all the advice and support.
Zevin, thank you for reaching out and asking me. I really appreciate it. It was very kind. And to answer your question For the most part I am doing good. Think I need more structure to my day but other than that good
Zevin, thank you for reaching out and asking me. I really appreciate it. It was very kind. And to answer your question For the most part I am doing good. Think I need more structure to my day but other than that good
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