Orchid1

Hey, I just put this thread so it's not lost in my journal.

My friends are talking about going and grabbing a drink tonight and I haven't responded yet. I know I shouldn't and I cant even lie to myself that I would drink soda or water, it is really really bothering me. I'm toying with the idea of going and just not eating Saturday( I have no cravings when I don't eat) to beat the initial want to do it again and when Sunday arrives I'll be better. I know this wont work probably.

Thing is one of them I have been at odds with about this BLM thing which is made even worse cause we are from the same African country, It would be a great time to smooth things out...life is about more. Me saying no may come off as I'm shunning them because my thinking is in the minority. How do I navigate this? Should I make up something? Or tell them I'm not drinking, but they will just say come and have soda but I know once there, good times flowing, summer weather... I will drink. Any advice?

sugarbear1

Are you a drinker or non-drinker? It's your choice.

ReadyAtLast

You've answered your own dilemma.

The other stuff is just AV talking to convince you to go, what others think, making up with someone, the weather etc.

If you want to stay sober don't go as you know you will drink if you go.

The question really is do I want to drink or do I want to stay sober?

Sandra2

I just wouldn’t go.

doggonecarl

You're barely a week sober and putting yourself in harms way. If you want to stay sober, you know the answer.

least

I would suggest not going. Sounds like you've made up your mind to drink if you go. Why chance it? Give yourself more sober time before you attend such events. Just tell them that you don't drink anymore and would rather not tempt yourself. If they're true friends, they'll understand.

Orchid1

Fair enough, I guess it's time to tell those close to me I'm sober now. Thank you everyone.

Steely

Not "probably won't work". It DEFINITELY won't work if you are "alcoholic".

Think about you last drink. 🤔

I wouldn't go if I were having these thoughts. There will always be a next time.

Dee74

You'll have many other, much better, opportunities to sort out differences Orchid.
Stay home...youll be glad you did tomorrow.

Dee74

not if you don't want to, yet.
'No thanks I want to stay home' is a perfectly reasonable response.

D

Orchid1

Good thing I saw this before I did, I think not yet.

Primativo

You'll feel so thankful and proud of yourself when you wake up tomorrow sober. Any FOMO you have this evening, it is only temporary. Once it gets late, you'll realise that your friends will likely be inebriated, tired, groggy, hungry and are about to get a crap night sleep and wake up feeling like crap tomorrow, when you will wake up fresh and ready to embrace the day and do whatever you can put your mind and body to. It's a fantastic feeling. The amount of times you wake up and feel thankful you did not drink when tempted the night before. Believe me, it's a horrible feeling waking up hungover with the realisation you gave in and drank again, you regret it every single time and it's not always easy to get back off the ride.

Orchid1

Yes, it must have been the AV. Cant say I'm not incredibly bored now and craving wine but y'all are right, I'll be glad when I wake up fresh and ready for the day. We will go for a hike tomorrow so it worked out. Thanks again for helping me off that.

least

Every time I drank, I ALWAYS regretted it the next morning. Whereas when I wake up sober now, I have never once wished I had drank the night before.

Anna

I'd definitely not go.

I don't think you need to tell anyone you are not drinking anymore unless and until you want to. For me, I tried lying the first week and it felt horrible. So, saying 'No, thanks' has worked well since then.

least

double post

fini

Orchid, hi,
i don’t think you really needed advice at all.
you knew exactly what the sobriety-furthering thing to do was/is
you felt the pull of drinking and made up a good-sounding excuse to go.
clever AV.
smart Orchid

Steely

I'll be really glad when the day arrives where people no longer have to give reason for not drinking alcohol.

MaximusD

Glad you decided not to go orchid and HELL YEAH stelly. It is really crappy how accepted alcohol is in society especially considering how bad it is for many people.

ReadyAtLast

so glad to wake up and read that you decided not to go Orchid Hope you fell good this morning