drinking again
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 286
Of course! Doing okay I guess, in the last 24 hours I slept 3 hours... oddly still feel better than a hangover. I hope you lay off the sauce again, at the very least it will get that after taste out your mouth😃, something I realize I love about not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,429
Why could I say I was committed to sobriety yet keep relapsing? For me it was fear of giving up a coping mechanism I relied on for most of my life, but one that wasn’t working any longer. I was scared of the work and change I would have to do to feel and process hard things.
Turned out that once I got through some of those, I was also flooded with peace and feelings of wellbeing. Sobriety has turned out to be gift, not a punishment.
Turned out that once I got through some of those, I was also flooded with peace and feelings of wellbeing. Sobriety has turned out to be gift, not a punishment.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
This is what helped me, Maximus, I stopped after all day drinking, for two and a half years, with AVRT, which I know is in your tag-line. And then the world and fate threw (what my AV thought) were unsurmountable boulders in my path....and I listened to the AV, assuring me that I could "switch off and drink for a couple of days'. Not so, I sank into a deeper pit of all day everyday drinking, returned to SR and gained control over the AV last year.
I've posted this 'SR Recovery Story' on one of your other threads, so not sure whether you've read it, because the thread is subsequently dormant. This link helped me SO much last year, I really hope you read it, because of it's AVRT relatedness. I believe you have the power, Maximus, to ignore the AV, I truly believe that, after researching brains and addiction and executive control over autonomous function, learned behaviour. But I also experienced, that once the drink is consigned to history, via ignoring the AV, I was able to feel more comfortable in my skin, by taking actions to improve my life, my equanimity, I guess.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-my-story.html (JefferyAK/My Story)
I've posted this 'SR Recovery Story' on one of your other threads, so not sure whether you've read it, because the thread is subsequently dormant. This link helped me SO much last year, I really hope you read it, because of it's AVRT relatedness. I believe you have the power, Maximus, to ignore the AV, I truly believe that, after researching brains and addiction and executive control over autonomous function, learned behaviour. But I also experienced, that once the drink is consigned to history, via ignoring the AV, I was able to feel more comfortable in my skin, by taking actions to improve my life, my equanimity, I guess.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-my-story.html (JefferyAK/My Story)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
There are many folks out there who have taken certain measures,
steps to help achieve success in sobriety, recovery from addiction
and in everyday life.
These folks share their own experiences, strengths and hopes
of what their journey was and is like, before, during and after
their addiction.
My journey of addiction led me to a 28 day rehab stay with a 6
week aftercare program included to begin a new journey of life
in recovery.
What was taught to us in school we take with us thru life. Right?
What is taught in rehab or other recovery programs we can also
take with us thru the rest of our lives sober or clean from addictive
behaviors.
All that is taught to us is like a guideline to follow and keep us
from returning to our addiction or other unhealthy behaviors.
There are many lessons in life that may take longer to learn,
and believe me I have had quite a few lessons like that that
has taken me number of yrs for the light bulbs to finally glow
brightly and become and ah ha moment.
When we finally get it right then we will know.
I took the knowledge of addiction and recovery taught to me
29 yrs ago and used it to my advantage. For me, at that time
in my life, married with a little family with all that came with it,
and had to make a decision.
For the love and care of family placing me into the hands of
those capable of teaching me this knowledge in rehab, I could
throw it out the window and loss my family or take the gift of
recovery and hold on tight each day while going thru changes
in my life and remain sober.
Well, that is exactly what I did. The driving force to remain sober
more than anything or give up and die.
Maybe my stubbornness, my defiance, you cant tell me what
to do.....what ever my motive was, has brought me to where I
am today.
Continued sobriety, continued maintenance on my life and
recovery for this many years, lessons I continue to learn,
reinforcing my recovery foundation, health, happiness,
honesty and so many more amazing gifts in life, they all
have allowed me to be sober and alive today.
steps to help achieve success in sobriety, recovery from addiction
and in everyday life.
These folks share their own experiences, strengths and hopes
of what their journey was and is like, before, during and after
their addiction.
My journey of addiction led me to a 28 day rehab stay with a 6
week aftercare program included to begin a new journey of life
in recovery.
What was taught to us in school we take with us thru life. Right?
What is taught in rehab or other recovery programs we can also
take with us thru the rest of our lives sober or clean from addictive
behaviors.
All that is taught to us is like a guideline to follow and keep us
from returning to our addiction or other unhealthy behaviors.
There are many lessons in life that may take longer to learn,
and believe me I have had quite a few lessons like that that
has taken me number of yrs for the light bulbs to finally glow
brightly and become and ah ha moment.
When we finally get it right then we will know.
I took the knowledge of addiction and recovery taught to me
29 yrs ago and used it to my advantage. For me, at that time
in my life, married with a little family with all that came with it,
and had to make a decision.
For the love and care of family placing me into the hands of
those capable of teaching me this knowledge in rehab, I could
throw it out the window and loss my family or take the gift of
recovery and hold on tight each day while going thru changes
in my life and remain sober.
Well, that is exactly what I did. The driving force to remain sober
more than anything or give up and die.
Maybe my stubbornness, my defiance, you cant tell me what
to do.....what ever my motive was, has brought me to where I
am today.
Continued sobriety, continued maintenance on my life and
recovery for this many years, lessons I continue to learn,
reinforcing my recovery foundation, health, happiness,
honesty and so many more amazing gifts in life, they all
have allowed me to be sober and alive today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Thank you for your posts everyone. I have poured out the alcohol and am moving on. The problem is the continued relapse. I need to respect and protect my sobriety. Not thinking I will have a hangover from this but I think I am still coming down. As usual, thank you to this community.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
For me I had to not only want recovery but be prepared to work for it too.
Yeah we need to respect - and cherish - our recovery.
Every thing we do needs to reflect that desire to be sober.
thats a tall ask and many falter - but eventually I think most of us make peace with the idea our lives need to change. The fact our lives improve help make that an easy decision in hindsight but it’s still pretty momentous.
D
Yeah we need to respect - and cherish - our recovery.
Every thing we do needs to reflect that desire to be sober.
thats a tall ask and many falter - but eventually I think most of us make peace with the idea our lives need to change. The fact our lives improve help make that an easy decision in hindsight but it’s still pretty momentous.
D
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
I relapsed manyl times before I had even heard of SR. In the end, eliminating all the other options by repeated failure I worked out that I needed to do whatever it took to avoid the cravings for drink I would have in the evening.
For me that meant getting up at zero dark thirty and going jogging or brisk walking in order that after a days work, I would be sufficiently physically tired that going to bed sober was a more attractive proposition than going out and buying booze.
I only HAD to do that for about 7 or 8 weeks but fear drove me to begin with and eventually I began to enjoy it on top of the satisfaction of getting fitter and losing some weight.
The fact that you are still posting here is a very good sign because it means you are serious about wanting to stop and you will find the method that works for you.
Good luck Maximus, you can do this.
For me that meant getting up at zero dark thirty and going jogging or brisk walking in order that after a days work, I would be sufficiently physically tired that going to bed sober was a more attractive proposition than going out and buying booze.
I only HAD to do that for about 7 or 8 weeks but fear drove me to begin with and eventually I began to enjoy it on top of the satisfaction of getting fitter and losing some weight.
The fact that you are still posting here is a very good sign because it means you are serious about wanting to stop and you will find the method that works for you.
Good luck Maximus, you can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
As usual, thank you for the posts. I have to go back and read them when I am weak. I don't know what happened but I drank again even after posting this. I quit yesterday and am barely starting to come out of the hangover. Its all so tiring. I need to make a plan. I am being more honest and open with my wife about it. I will lose her if I don't get this **** under control.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 98
Originally Posted by MaximusD 
As usual, thank you for the posts. I have to go back and read them when I am weak. I don't know what happened but I drank again even after posting this. I quit yesterday and am barely starting to come out of the hangover. Its all so tiring. I need to make a plan. I am being more honest and open with my wife about it. I will lose her if I don't get this **** under control.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
I am on day 2. Slept okay with my sleeping app but still spent much of the night semi-conscious that I wasn't sleeping great. Had a drinking dream. Seriously already drinking dreams on day 2??? Anyway. Day 2 so hangover is basically gone. This is when I finally eat again and clean up from the binge. Got laundry and chores to do. Thing is, this is the same cycle. The difference is, this time I won't drink to start the cycle over again. Today, I commit to not drinking. Pinkbutterfly, I am in! Peaceful water, that is the same issue I have which leads to slips. I choose to forget all the bad.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Maximus,
It took me a while before I finally got sobriety right, and I am so glad I didn’t stop trying. Reading and posting here each day wasn’t one of the biggest pieces of my sobriety, and still is. I read lots of memoirs by others who had overcome addiction, there is a great list on the stickies page of thus forum. I get out for walks each day, the combination of nature and exercise helps me let go of whatever stresses I was feeling from the day. I always try to look at things through a lens of gratitude, no matter how bad the situation you can always find something to be grateful for. If you are sober at this minute, that’s something to be grateful for.
Don’t give up, you can do this, sobriety is the best gift I’ve ever been given. I want that for you too. I know you can do this, don’t give up, keep posting. Make a plan for staying sober today, then do the same thing tomorrow. You’ve got this.
It took me a while before I finally got sobriety right, and I am so glad I didn’t stop trying. Reading and posting here each day wasn’t one of the biggest pieces of my sobriety, and still is. I read lots of memoirs by others who had overcome addiction, there is a great list on the stickies page of thus forum. I get out for walks each day, the combination of nature and exercise helps me let go of whatever stresses I was feeling from the day. I always try to look at things through a lens of gratitude, no matter how bad the situation you can always find something to be grateful for. If you are sober at this minute, that’s something to be grateful for.
Don’t give up, you can do this, sobriety is the best gift I’ve ever been given. I want that for you too. I know you can do this, don’t give up, keep posting. Make a plan for staying sober today, then do the same thing tomorrow. You’ve got this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
I am about to go for a walk. Most of the time by day 2 I am already doing better but I am restless and kinda just counting the hours again. Need to get my butt up off the computer and see how that helps. I really do need to break it down day by day. I will keep fighting. Thank you Orchid and Delilah for posting. It helps!
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