Sober Journey Weekenders 12-15 June 2020
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 437
Oops, forgot to post, bit I'm in!
today hasn't been great, woke up with a bad headache that didn't really shift til 2hours ago. I've been getting things ready for work next week, lots of walks and generally taking it easy. Last week for me was very busy so just relaxing this weekend.
today hasn't been great, woke up with a bad headache that didn't really shift til 2hours ago. I've been getting things ready for work next week, lots of walks and generally taking it easy. Last week for me was very busy so just relaxing this weekend.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks for the support everyone 
Cityboy, yes I like bull arab dogs, big boofy clowns that they are
I like most dogs, but especially big crossbreed dogs ❤️
Bim I’m glad you blocked him! Well done.
As to your questions, yes I do want to quit. If I didn’t, I doubt I would bother coming to SR and spilling my guts, admitting my failures, and trying again. I would just keep on drinking without a thought of SR. When I first joined in 2018 I managed over a year sober. But I don’t think it’s as easy as just wanting something. Sometimes it’s really hard, and that’s why I come to SR, to help me find the strength to resist those awful cravings that sometimes really do my head in.
And yes I have spoken to my partner, and he is generally supportive and agrees that I am better off not drinking. He drinks normally. I don’t want to ask him to get rid of his wine collection and there’s really nowhere else to put it. Actually the wine rack doesn’t normally bother me in the slightest, but this weekend was my first weekend sober after relapsing, so I was finding it much more difficult than usual.
From previous experience, the first days for me are the toughest. And my last drink was Wednesday, so I was struggling over the weekend. I’m hopeful that it will get easier from here. I’m now on day 5 and back to work, so things are on the up
Thanks for the support everyone, I really appreciate your help over this weekend
Cityboy, yes I like bull arab dogs, big boofy clowns that they are
I like most dogs, but especially big crossbreed dogs ❤️Bim I’m glad you blocked him! Well done.
As to your questions, yes I do want to quit. If I didn’t, I doubt I would bother coming to SR and spilling my guts, admitting my failures, and trying again. I would just keep on drinking without a thought of SR. When I first joined in 2018 I managed over a year sober. But I don’t think it’s as easy as just wanting something. Sometimes it’s really hard, and that’s why I come to SR, to help me find the strength to resist those awful cravings that sometimes really do my head in.
And yes I have spoken to my partner, and he is generally supportive and agrees that I am better off not drinking. He drinks normally. I don’t want to ask him to get rid of his wine collection and there’s really nowhere else to put it. Actually the wine rack doesn’t normally bother me in the slightest, but this weekend was my first weekend sober after relapsing, so I was finding it much more difficult than usual.
From previous experience, the first days for me are the toughest. And my last drink was Wednesday, so I was struggling over the weekend. I’m hopeful that it will get easier from here. I’m now on day 5 and back to work, so things are on the up
Thanks for the support everyone, I really appreciate your help over this weekend
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,059
No tea!! 
Well done Willow fighting those cravings is no mean feat. You are nearly at a week, then it will be two, three, four and beyond, forever.
I am struggling with carbs and chocolate again. Fed up with my addictive ways. If I do anything more than once and like it its a problem! Haven't had any ice cream for over 8 months, ridiculous but the only way else I will be eating that everyday too.
Well done Willow fighting those cravings is no mean feat. You are nearly at a week, then it will be two, three, four and beyond, forever.
I am struggling with carbs and chocolate again. Fed up with my addictive ways. If I do anything more than once and like it its a problem! Haven't had any ice cream for over 8 months, ridiculous but the only way else I will be eating that everyday too.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,666
Morning Weekenders
Willow, I agree, it’s always the hardest when you’re on the first few days sober. I’m really pleased you came to SR for support. Fortunately too, you have the experience of a year sober under your belt. You can draw off that, just because your a few days sober, you did a year, you’ve got the tools and indeed you did use a good one...your SR site. You’re going the right way.
Bim, excellent work! You smashed it. Twenty years is a big gap. Much water under the bridge.
Saou, you need to take some baby steps to the store and get some good strong a Yorkshire Tea.
your Englishman’s Castle (or Towers) needs it. 
Dee I like the words you used, I’ve not heard them before. The av needs us to go to the shop and buy and drink booze. Without us it’s snookered.(or words similar)
Kaily, that was some walk, Alfie will love you forever.
Forwards, it brought a tear to my eye, what you wrote. ‘As helpless as I once was’. I think we all can relate.
I have a bottle of wine and gin in my cupboard. Bought by well meaning friends who don’t know me that well. When I open the cupboard, I have no yearning or feelings towards it, as much as if it was poison. It took me a long time to get to here. I’d decided I didn’t drink anymore on the morning of 20 July 2013, I then had a hard battle with my av. (some found it easier than me, it’s not this hard for many). This was the first time I’d stood up to it and meant it.
I found the support here amazing. I read newbies experiences, read the experiences of the wise and long-time soberites. All in all, I read things that I mentally objected too, spat out my dummy, stamped my feet (all metaphorically) because I didn’t understand.
Once I learnt how to walk on the sober road and jump over the pitfalls and bumps in the road, I grew in my sobriety. I’m sure many of you reading can relate to this.
But if you’re newly sober a few things I found which I would’ve never believed.
1. It gets easier, the cravings and urges do pass.
2. There is life after booze. A good life, on your terms. (I would never have thought this possible).
right, enough of my pontifications.
Have a good day, take care and be safe. xx
Willow, I agree, it’s always the hardest when you’re on the first few days sober. I’m really pleased you came to SR for support. Fortunately too, you have the experience of a year sober under your belt. You can draw off that, just because your a few days sober, you did a year, you’ve got the tools and indeed you did use a good one...your SR site. You’re going the right way.
Bim, excellent work! You smashed it. Twenty years is a big gap. Much water under the bridge.
Saou, you need to take some baby steps to the store and get some good strong a Yorkshire Tea.
your Englishman’s Castle (or Towers) needs it. Dee I like the words you used, I’ve not heard them before. The av needs us to go to the shop and buy and drink booze. Without us it’s snookered.(or words similar)
Kaily, that was some walk, Alfie will love you forever.
Forwards, it brought a tear to my eye, what you wrote. ‘As helpless as I once was’. I think we all can relate.
I have a bottle of wine and gin in my cupboard. Bought by well meaning friends who don’t know me that well. When I open the cupboard, I have no yearning or feelings towards it, as much as if it was poison. It took me a long time to get to here. I’d decided I didn’t drink anymore on the morning of 20 July 2013, I then had a hard battle with my av. (some found it easier than me, it’s not this hard for many). This was the first time I’d stood up to it and meant it.
I found the support here amazing. I read newbies experiences, read the experiences of the wise and long-time soberites. All in all, I read things that I mentally objected too, spat out my dummy, stamped my feet (all metaphorically) because I didn’t understand.
Once I learnt how to walk on the sober road and jump over the pitfalls and bumps in the road, I grew in my sobriety. I’m sure many of you reading can relate to this.
But if you’re newly sober a few things I found which I would’ve never believed.
1. It gets easier, the cravings and urges do pass.
2. There is life after booze. A good life, on your terms. (I would never have thought this possible).
right, enough of my pontifications.
Have a good day, take care and be safe. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 133
Thanks, Mags, Dee.
I've been there, Willow. On the precipice of temptation -- sitting there, sweating, with my keys in hand..."it's only 6 minutes to the store, I can be back in no time and be drinking and having a good time..." I told myself. Or rather, my AV tried to. Then, as many on this forum have said; I played the tape forward and I didn't like what I saw: Drunk dialing someone from the past and saying some things that aren't too nice; not getting anything accomplished for the following three or so days; laying around in a fog feeling like s*** and feeling paranoid -- looking out the window when I heard anything I deemed (in my warped mind) unusual; appetite ruined while fitness levels drop, etc. Remembering what it felt like in the aftermath of "having a good time" was finally enough to put an end to that temptation for good. There was no way that I was going to continue to ruin my life's opportunities again. Then again, we should also not going to get into the "should have," "would have" guilt thing either. We're here, we're present, and we can change the outcome of out futures.
As someone said earlier; every time that you resist the AV, you get more resistant to its suggestions, Willow. You're very inspirational to people for having that bottle in your hand and still saying no to it. Maybe you can find a way to not even be around the vino in the future? Great job!
Btw, made the best grilled steak over the weekend -- plenty of leftovers for the week, too. Did anyone else have some special dining experiences?
I've been there, Willow. On the precipice of temptation -- sitting there, sweating, with my keys in hand..."it's only 6 minutes to the store, I can be back in no time and be drinking and having a good time..." I told myself. Or rather, my AV tried to. Then, as many on this forum have said; I played the tape forward and I didn't like what I saw: Drunk dialing someone from the past and saying some things that aren't too nice; not getting anything accomplished for the following three or so days; laying around in a fog feeling like s*** and feeling paranoid -- looking out the window when I heard anything I deemed (in my warped mind) unusual; appetite ruined while fitness levels drop, etc. Remembering what it felt like in the aftermath of "having a good time" was finally enough to put an end to that temptation for good. There was no way that I was going to continue to ruin my life's opportunities again. Then again, we should also not going to get into the "should have," "would have" guilt thing either. We're here, we're present, and we can change the outcome of out futures.
As someone said earlier; every time that you resist the AV, you get more resistant to its suggestions, Willow. You're very inspirational to people for having that bottle in your hand and still saying no to it. Maybe you can find a way to not even be around the vino in the future? Great job!
Btw, made the best grilled steak over the weekend -- plenty of leftovers for the week, too. Did anyone else have some special dining experiences?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 769
Originally Posted by saoutchik 
I have done something no Englishman should do and run out of tea! Fizzy water will have to do.
noooooooo. The last time I did that I just had the hot water and milk without the tea, wasn't too bad. But that was over 20 years ago and I've never done it since. Emergency shopping trip I think 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 769
Originally Posted by Kaily
I am struggling with carbs and chocolate again. Fed up with my addictive ways. If I do anything more than once and like it its a problem! Haven't had any ice cream for over 8 months, ridiculous but the only way else I will be eating that everyday too.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks everyone, you guys are awesome ❤️
Really great posts Mags and Oceanguy, very thought provoking.
I had a really busy day today and the AV didn’t get a look in, didn’t even rear it’s head once. That first weekend was tough, but I’m feeling stronger today. Just finished 5 days and not even a thought of a drink all day. It’s good going to bed sober. Good night everyone x
Really great posts Mags and Oceanguy, very thought provoking.
I had a really busy day today and the AV didn’t get a look in, didn’t even rear it’s head once. That first weekend was tough, but I’m feeling stronger today. Just finished 5 days and not even a thought of a drink all day. It’s good going to bed sober. Good night everyone x
. Glad you're feeling stronger and well done on 5 days Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Monday morning here.
Desert Dawg's description of how Monday mornings used to be brought back some pretty unpleasant memories for me, and made me feel so very very grateful for my sobriety today. I remember those miserable Monday mornings after a weekend of so-called fun. And not just Mondays - it could be any day of the week. I was probably hungover every day, to some extent, but I'd be hurting bad at least a couple days a week, usually. UGH. Life is so much nicer without the hangovers, not to mention the shame, regret, wasted time, hurting other people, avoiding responsibilities... the list goes on and on. My man friend and I went to a local restaurant to sit on their patio and have lunch yesterday. Restaurants are all open here, but this place has not opened their dining room yet and has careful measures in place for making it a safer place to be. We ran into another couple, friends we have not seen in a while, because they live in Arizona in the winter. We decided to share a table with them to catch up. At one point, my man friend and the other man were talking about beer. I said something about once liking a certain beer when I still drank (they were all drinking but me). The other man (Dave) sort of seemed to suddenly remember I am sober now, and apologized for talking about beer. He asked me how long I had been sober. I told him 5 and a half years, and he was amazed and congratulated me profusely. I told him it doesn't bother me when people drink around me, and it's true, for the most part. (The drinking itself doesn't bother me, but I hate being around people who get drunk and start acting stupid, because it makes me remember my past behavior, and it's also kind of scary to me. Drunk people are unpredictable.) He asked if I ever get a twinge or anything of wanting a drink. I truthfully said yes, a twinge now and then, but really I don't very often actually think about it.
My wish for everyone who is struggling is that you will get to this point. Drinking just does not appeal to me. I sometimes do wish I could have a glass of wine. It happens. But it's not a struggle for me to just tell my AV no. The thought pops up, I say NO, remember one of those Monday morning hangovers, or any other of a number of bad memories from my drinking days, and that fleeting thought is GONE. It gets easier and easier as time goes by.
I had a very fun and productive weekend. Got a lot of stuff done at my house, and also went to the man friend's cabin on Saturday to help him do maintenance there. Went for a long hike in a state park yesterday morning. The weather was gorgeous, I feel healthy and content, I woke up with a clear head and conscience today. That's a sea change from how my weekends used to go.
And speaking of deer - we saw SO MANY driving up and back to the cabin. A bit scary at times - one mama and fawn ran across the road and we had to avoid them. That happens a lot. We saw several more close to the road - they can bolt at any time. Constant vigilance is necessary.
Desert Dawg's description of how Monday mornings used to be brought back some pretty unpleasant memories for me, and made me feel so very very grateful for my sobriety today. I remember those miserable Monday mornings after a weekend of so-called fun. And not just Mondays - it could be any day of the week. I was probably hungover every day, to some extent, but I'd be hurting bad at least a couple days a week, usually. UGH. Life is so much nicer without the hangovers, not to mention the shame, regret, wasted time, hurting other people, avoiding responsibilities... the list goes on and on. My man friend and I went to a local restaurant to sit on their patio and have lunch yesterday. Restaurants are all open here, but this place has not opened their dining room yet and has careful measures in place for making it a safer place to be. We ran into another couple, friends we have not seen in a while, because they live in Arizona in the winter. We decided to share a table with them to catch up. At one point, my man friend and the other man were talking about beer. I said something about once liking a certain beer when I still drank (they were all drinking but me). The other man (Dave) sort of seemed to suddenly remember I am sober now, and apologized for talking about beer. He asked me how long I had been sober. I told him 5 and a half years, and he was amazed and congratulated me profusely. I told him it doesn't bother me when people drink around me, and it's true, for the most part. (The drinking itself doesn't bother me, but I hate being around people who get drunk and start acting stupid, because it makes me remember my past behavior, and it's also kind of scary to me. Drunk people are unpredictable.) He asked if I ever get a twinge or anything of wanting a drink. I truthfully said yes, a twinge now and then, but really I don't very often actually think about it.
My wish for everyone who is struggling is that you will get to this point. Drinking just does not appeal to me. I sometimes do wish I could have a glass of wine. It happens. But it's not a struggle for me to just tell my AV no. The thought pops up, I say NO, remember one of those Monday morning hangovers, or any other of a number of bad memories from my drinking days, and that fleeting thought is GONE. It gets easier and easier as time goes by.
I had a very fun and productive weekend. Got a lot of stuff done at my house, and also went to the man friend's cabin on Saturday to help him do maintenance there. Went for a long hike in a state park yesterday morning. The weather was gorgeous, I feel healthy and content, I woke up with a clear head and conscience today. That's a sea change from how my weekends used to go.
And speaking of deer - we saw SO MANY driving up and back to the cabin. A bit scary at times - one mama and fawn ran across the road and we had to avoid them. That happens a lot. We saw several more close to the road - they can bolt at any time. Constant vigilance is necessary.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Happy Monday, Weekenders.
Another Sober Weekend under our belts. Not too shabby not too shabby at all!
It is very good to see you, Willow. Well done on five days!
I have been doing chemo cream again - small areas on my face but all of the chest area. The suspicious areas on my face are reacting with only twinges of pain, just like the last time. The reaction on the chest is widespread with reactive areas too numerous to count. It has become very painful and I still have about 15 days to go. I don’t know how much more I can stand. Ugh.
Another Sober Weekend under our belts. Not too shabby not too shabby at all!
It is very good to see you, Willow. Well done on five days!
I have been doing chemo cream again - small areas on my face but all of the chest area. The suspicious areas on my face are reacting with only twinges of pain, just like the last time. The reaction on the chest is widespread with reactive areas too numerous to count. It has become very painful and I still have about 15 days to go. I don’t know how much more I can stand. Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
So, the whole thing about AVRT (AV) is Separating From the AV. Knowing that ANY thoughts of a drink are not coming from ME, they are coming from my Addiction and so - Recognize/Separate
I think there is a lot of misconception about AV on this site. It's not my voice in my head. It's the Addiction, which isn't ME. There are lots of great threads about it here:
Permanent Abstinence Based Recovery
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ased-recovery/
(I'm not talking to anyone in particular, but Weekender gets lots of hits, and it's good to refresh memories/give links/read it again.)
I think there is a lot of misconception about AV on this site. It's not my voice in my head. It's the Addiction, which isn't ME. There are lots of great threads about it here:
Permanent Abstinence Based Recovery
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ased-recovery/
(I'm not talking to anyone in particular, but Weekender gets lots of hits, and it's good to refresh memories/give links/read it again.)
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,200
Sending positive vibes your way Leigh!
Mags I do buy Yorkshire Tea and will be doing so again soon. I used to drink green tea until fairly recently as it is relaxing but as work is not very busy there is an absence of stress right now.
Fabulous day here weather wise. Shame I had to go to work today.
Mags I do buy Yorkshire Tea and will be doing so again soon. I used to drink green tea until fairly recently as it is relaxing but as work is not very busy there is an absence of stress right now.
Fabulous day here weather wise. Shame I had to go to work today.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Leigh, I wish you the best with your treatment.
It has rained up here nine of the last ten days.
I think there is an overpopulation of deer here, but even after fifteen years since we moved here we still like the novelty of them. I have seen a change to the ecology of the woods on my property from deer overgrazing--there is more grass and bracken fern and fewer hardy native plants and sword ferns. I'm not really opposed to hunting, but as an old-time hunter/cowboy put it when he saw the deer in our yard: "Can't shoot them--they're too innocent!"
It has rained up here nine of the last ten days.
I think there is an overpopulation of deer here, but even after fifteen years since we moved here we still like the novelty of them. I have seen a change to the ecology of the woods on my property from deer overgrazing--there is more grass and bracken fern and fewer hardy native plants and sword ferns. I'm not really opposed to hunting, but as an old-time hunter/cowboy put it when he saw the deer in our yard: "Can't shoot them--they're too innocent!"
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