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Old 07-17-2020, 05:19 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hey, I hope everyone is well and staying safe during these times!! I used earlier today when I ran into the old dealers and it wasn’t strong enough to say no ( i’ve been been proactive with the PIP and getting decent feedback so I think I’m okay there for right now, but I hate myself. And then I’m gonna be up for a while. And it sucks that I live alone because sometimes it’s scary. And I hate myself for giving in and taking the free sample and holding onto the free “gift” and I want to get rid of it but part of me things it will help me be more productive and I know it’s probs not true but it’s that little thought, and I’m supposed to to do something great, or so I thkught. I want to find purpose I guess. I’m so sorry if I’m not major sense of I’m rambling. I apologize! Thank you for listening and I hope everyone is having a good night!!!
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Old 07-17-2020, 06:19 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I think you probably know as well as I do that's nothings really free, especially in relation to drugs.

I would strenuously avoid those people, and look at your clean and sober plan - do you think you're doing enough right now for your recovery?.

D
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Old 07-18-2020, 05:09 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Yeah, you’re right about that D - it’s never really free, there’s always a catch! and now I’m suffering for my choices and I feel horrible and I know I’ll be up for a while & to just makes me want to sleep but obvi sleep isn’t happening on Adderall. i agree I really do need to stay away from those people and I think I need to re evaluate my recovery plan and attend online NA meetings or something, I went to a few before COVID started, I’m not one for Zoom Meetings b/c I do SO many of them at work it’s like Zoom burnout if that’s a thing ahaha! Maybe they have phone meetings or something instead, I’ll have to look into that. My sister is going to be so disappointed in me if she finds out, we stated rebuilding our relationship in Feb. and it’s been going great but she will be extremely disappointed and maybe even angry if she discovers I used. I’m so so upset with myself right now!! Sorry again that I’m rambling. Thank you for the advice, greatly appreciated!!
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Old 07-18-2020, 06:53 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Yeah, like I said on the previous page - break up with all the drug dealers.

I don't even talk to people from my past who don't support my sobriety. It is my most precious and most protected possession. Anyone who tries to threaten my sobriety is NOT a friend. That dealer is just looking out for his own $$$. He does not care about you.
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