How to deal with WHY we are alcoholics
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
I drank because the stuff worked , then it didn’t I had to put it down. I’m still working on the whys . The main thing is stopping , staying stopped and work on changing yourself. I know I can’t do it alone I love AA. There are many programs and support out there . Find one
that works for you.
that works for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,502
I know why I started drinking - it was to blot out my feelings of anger and anxiety due to a miserabvle childhood and a mentally abusive father. But I don't know why it became such a problem. In the early days of my drinking I never actually drank that much but over time my tolerance to drink became a problem. In my late teens I could take or leave drink and usually didn't drink that much. I actually used to hate getting drunk (I would usually end up with the hiccups before I reached that stage!) but then one day I realised I could drink like a fish and not get that drunk. It almost happened over night when I was about 21 or 22. And so my drinking became a severe problem which led to severe problems at work and in relationships with family and friends. I've lost a very good job more than once through alcohol and ended up going bankrupt last year. I have a programme on my computer called Microsoft Money and use it for keeping a check on what I am spending. It's a nightmare looking at how much money I have wasted on alcohol (and cigarettes as I only smoke when I'm drinking). Since April 2006 when I first started to keep a check on my spending I have spent £60,491 on alcohol and cigarettes (that's nearly US$77,000), a frightening amount of money. This year alone I have spent £1,366. What an absolute waste.
I drink now because I'm addicted to alcohol. It's easier to drink sometimes than try to fight against it but it's not doing me any good, either health wise or money wise. I just wish there was a magic cure for it but at times it seems like hard work.
I drink now because I'm addicted to alcohol. It's easier to drink sometimes than try to fight against it but it's not doing me any good, either health wise or money wise. I just wish there was a magic cure for it but at times it seems like hard work.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
The SMART Recovery Handbook (see their website) has an activity where they ask participants to list the pros and cons of using, which for alcohol looks like:
1). List all the benefits of drinking.
2). List all the problems with drinking.
3). List all the benefits of not drinking.
4). List all the problems with not drinking.
This helps us clarify, at least on the surface, why we drink and why we want to stop. It also helps us realize that most all benefits of using are short term, whereas the benefits of not using are longer term.
Of course, why we started and why it became a problem is often deeper than this exercise, but the exercise is a start. For me, I didn't gain insight into how trauma, anxiety, and desperation fueled my use until I was months into sobriety.
In other words, stop first, then figure out why you started. Don't think the insight is needed to stop.
1). List all the benefits of drinking.
2). List all the problems with drinking.
3). List all the benefits of not drinking.
4). List all the problems with not drinking.
This helps us clarify, at least on the surface, why we drink and why we want to stop. It also helps us realize that most all benefits of using are short term, whereas the benefits of not using are longer term.
Of course, why we started and why it became a problem is often deeper than this exercise, but the exercise is a start. For me, I didn't gain insight into how trauma, anxiety, and desperation fueled my use until I was months into sobriety.
In other words, stop first, then figure out why you started. Don't think the insight is needed to stop.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1
Just out of a 7 day detox program on the 26th of May. I am sober 19 days.
Originally Posted by Al34 
So I’m finally feeling ready to do another attempt at stop drinking.
Wanted to ask how you all dealt with the reason(s) why you drank.
I don’t want to just stop drinking I want to deal with the reasons why I like to escape reality, just don’t know how to go about that....
Wanted to ask how you all dealt with the reason(s) why you drank.
I don’t want to just stop drinking I want to deal with the reasons why I like to escape reality, just don’t know how to go about that....
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Al, i didn’t need to know the WHY in order to stop; though spent years thinking i did.
truth was that i had to stop escaping reality, as you put it, in order to find out what my issues about wanting to escape reality were. how could you possibly figure that out while escaped and not in “real”reality to experience the need to escape?
truth was that i had to stop escaping reality, as you put it, in order to find out what my issues about wanting to escape reality were. how could you possibly figure that out while escaped and not in “real”reality to experience the need to escape?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 622
Why did I drink...Never really thought about it. Could be because the day ended in "y" but I don't know.
I only think about today and getting through it sober. As you string a couple days together, it does get a bit easier.
I only think about today and getting through it sober. As you string a couple days together, it does get a bit easier.
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,964
The Why’s take some time to decipher.
Many AAers will say that the whys came out in steps 4 and 5. (inventory and “confession”)
Some lapse triggers might get cleared up in steps 8 and 9 (restitution)
Then there is spiritual and emotional maintenance. Giving back.
AA is not the only way to go. Having a community of like-minded people with whom to share goes a long way.
Many AAers will say that the whys came out in steps 4 and 5. (inventory and “confession”)
Some lapse triggers might get cleared up in steps 8 and 9 (restitution)
Then there is spiritual and emotional maintenance. Giving back.
AA is not the only way to go. Having a community of like-minded people with whom to share goes a long way.
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,964
Harper47! Welcome!
There is a lot of good sharing and support here.
Posting here at SR has been a lifesaver for me.
Join us at other threads- 24 hour recovery connections 488 or class of June or class of May 2020 part 4.
Glad you’re here!
There is a lot of good sharing and support here.
Posting here at SR has been a lifesaver for me.
Join us at other threads- 24 hour recovery connections 488 or class of June or class of May 2020 part 4.
Glad you’re here!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
