Welcome wichitagirl!!
 

I'm new
hi - you guys seem to be having fun..

I'm confused by all the different places to post threads (?) - where do I go to talk about my pain killer addiction? I'm ready to get started on getting better


I posted this for our new friend in recovery. Welcome to SR, wichitagirl!

hugs,

jojo

Hi, wichitagirl and welcome. I also am a pill addict. I have found so much support here on SR and in AA / NA meetings. For me, quitting was the first step. I also need to go to meetings. I got a sponsor and am working the steps in order to learn how to live life without drugs and alcohol. If you are really ready to quit, there is help available.

hugs,

jojo

Yes A Big warm Welcome!!!! Jojo - how loverly and thougtful of you!!!! But I am not surprised. This is a community of wonderful people - all are welcome - what a wonderful gift indeed. Stay and read and post....Amazing support awaits you! SR is a lifeline for me and I am so very grateful to all.....Luvs Ama

hi -

I'm scared what to do

I want to quit

thanks so much for the new thread of welcome - maybe I'll actually get off this stuff with positive support and help.

But today that seems SO unlikely.....

I hate myself

wichitagirl-- First I strongly suggest that you see a Dr. who can help you either titer down on the meds or detox safely. Withdrawal from opiates is tough and can be medically dangerous. Then I can't recommend enough getting to an NA meeting. There you will find support and help from people who truly understand and can help you get to the other side. Hang in ther, you CAN do it!

AMA, huge hugs sent your way (and for your little angels, too! :rotate: )

jojo

Welcome wichitagirl! It can get better...it will get better - you are worth it and YOU CAN DO IT!! Don't beat yourself up - just look around - you are NOT alone ;)

thanks so much jojo and peaches

I guess I know I'm not alone. I've just been trying to get off this stuff for so long and flying under the radar to do it, but CAN'T!!!

I don't want my 2 teenagers to know - (my husband does and is very supportive - but worried) I'm worried, too, but can't seem to get to an NA meeting.

What are they like? Do you have to have a sponsor to go?

Meetings are open to all who have a DESIRE to quit. You definately qualify, so no worries there. You don't need a sponsor or anything else to attend. You will find a group of wonderful, warm, welcoming people there. Just go and see for yourself. You will be glad you did. Remember, you are not alone. There are people who understand and who can help.

As far as other people knowing, I can relate to that, too. I was so ashamed of my addiction that I tried to keep it a secret for a long time. But I found out that I am only as sick as my secrets. When I finally told family and friends about it, a lot of that shame lifted and I found nothing but love and support. You will make the decision of who or when to tell on your own time. For now just know that you are not alone and that there is help.

hugs,

jojo

Welcome wichitagirl! You are in good hands here with us. Alone we cannot do it but *together* we can. We are here for you through everything.

NA meetings are a good resource for staying sober. You do not need a sponsor to go. It is a place to share or just listen to what others are going through. It is a warm welcoming environment and a good place for support.

Dixie

Can I ask some more questions? Is anybody still on?

Go ahead-- lots of ears and shoulders here to help.

hugs,

jojo

jojo - thanks,

Took a call from my sister, but I've tons of things to ask about.

I'm stuck on Vicodin ES - do you know anything about that? I like it, though, I think I mentioned. How do I NOT like it?

Wow, that's a tough question. How do I NOT like it? Well, I liked it, too. Way, way too much. But I didn't like getting sick from it (I threw up a lot). I didn't like the thousands of dollars I spent on it. I didn't like feeling trapped in the despair of addiction. I didn't like the loss of self, the loss of control, the loss of everything that I cared about. I didn't like the risk of getting caught, the legal messes. I didn't like the chaos it created in my relationships. I didn't like feeling like there was no hope, feeling suicidal. I didn't like getting to the point where I couldn't imagine life without opiates and I couldn't imagine life with them. I didn't like knowing that I was going to die if I didn't get some real recovery.

The pain of using became more than the pain of quitting.

jojo

wow - I could totally relate to everything you just listed! Yes: I don't like that I lost my normal life at some point last year.

I know the 'not likes' are starting to outnumber the one 'like' of the short times during the day when it makes me feel good.

Tell me: did you stop all by yourself? What led to your seeking help? Were you able to do it "under the radar" (what I'm trying to do), or did you have to do an inpatient program? Can regular attendance at NA meetings do the trick? Or do I need to get a jumpstart through a hospital stay? I've got good insurance, but that step would be so public. My kids would not only hate me, they'ld kill me because they'ld be so embarassed - I live in a highly religious community and they're very aware that all the other mothers around here are perfect.... I know that you're thinking: 'that's just what she thinks on the outside looking in; NO one's perfect!' Trust me, jojo, these Stepford wives/moms ARE! It's a huge Mormon population and I don't know if you knwo much about these families, but these moms do EVERYthing for their kids. Because I'm a 'stay-at-home' mom, that pits me right where they are.

I'm sorry I'm rambling, but this is the kind of stuff I start thinking about when i start seriously thinking about facing this thing down: all the repercussions.... the ripples this will create in our family waters, so to speak.

I'm crying. I'm lost. I don't want to go on and yet I must! Sometimes I wish I would just OD and then I would be done with this thing and in the arms of someone who will finally forgive me and love me for who I used to be!

((((wichitagirl))))

Huge hugs and prayers sent your way. Everyone is different. We all have our own experiences and walk our own path. So, I will relate my own experience. I was not able to do it alone. I tried and tried and tried and failed. Finally, down on my knees, knowing that I was going to die from this disease one way or another, I surrendered. I was finally teachable. For me, the only way I have been able to stay clean is to go to meetings and work the steps with a great sponsor.

Fortunately there are a lot of options. All the way from inpatient detox and treatment to anonomous meetings (12 step and other). For me, there simply is no substitute for one addict helping another. These people understand my pain and bewilderment because they have been there themselves.

Sounds to me like anonomous meetings might be a good start for you (those Stepford wives don't have to know).

Hang in there.

jojo

jojo - thanks again for talking to me

Question: is there an "instant messaging" type of communication with other people such as yourself available through this site? If I could find someone to actually have a real-time chat with, I think i could actually get up the courage to open up ... which is what I think is going to be the step that I'll need to take to get up the courage to go to one of the meetings that it sounds like I'll be going to!

(((((((Witchitagirl)))))))))))))))
 

A huge welcome to you I relate to EVERYTHING you are saying my darling firstly YOU are soooooooo important to your children your husband to US and MOST importantly to YOURSELF.......please hang in there........listen there is a cht site here that i LOVE but there is never anybody on it, being in Sydney though I probably am up when you guys are down ( so to speak) give me a time when you would like to be on there and i'll meet you at the chat site ANYTIMWE...........I also prefer one on one conversation........caus..........people respond immediately...........

I use to abuse alcohol :uzi2: pills, lots of pills and I've been lost for one reason or another for a very long time .......let me tell you SR is a godsend to me

Hugs & Kisses
Basi :hug:

Basi,
WOW - I love your positive attitude..... maybe I AM important and CAN make it - ya think?
Sometimes I do.... sometimes.... I Don't

I'm up early in the mornings and can get the kids set and be online by about 6:30 am MST and can get on all day up until about 9:00 at night at which point I usually collapse asleep.... what time zone are you in?

Time Zone .......and other matters xxx
 

HI Witchitagirl,

OF COURSE you can make it .......Darlin.........Guess what i've not had anything to drink or taken anything AT ALL in 2weeks 4hours 12 minutes and.........33 seconds !!!!!but who's counting............. :cheer :arms: :dance:

Sydney is 18 hours ahead of Phoenix..........it is 2pm Friday afternoon here...it should be about 8pm Thursday night where you are? if i'm wrong just let me know....... I check in on the chat site from time to time tonight just to see if you're on it or if you like send me a PM or i'll send you one....... if thats OK.

I wish more of us here wwould be able to chat, but I gues it is more isolated and protected this way.

Luv ya PLs take care
Basi