Another DUI
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Welcome, Hewson. I never got a DUI, but I certainly have deserved one at times--it still baffles me that I managed to escape one the night I had a drunken crash that nearly cost me my life--I give thanks every day that no one else got hurt. My car was totaled and I've never got another--I can't afford it and get most everywhere on my bike just fine. Silver lining of this--I am in great shape after over 4 years of relying on pedal power, and I feel far more relaxed and physically grounded. I know things are awful and tumultuous now but it is so good that you are getting legal help and looking into rehab. I went to inpatient after my wreck--actually I was Baker Acted, which is being hospitalized for your own good, plus I had a subdural hematoma and was generally battered and wasn't going anywhere. I stayed 30 days after being released from the hospital. It was an enormous fiasco, embarrassing and humiliating--and the last time I had a drink. I am happier than I thought possible, and things aren't perfect but they're good, and that's plenty. I wish you all the best with this--sounds like you're doing the right things. Just stay sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 113
I had gone into work under the influence....got DUI coming home. Called my boss from jail because didn’t know if I would be out in time for next days shift. I can’t blame them....I was sneaking drinks during my lunches for awhile. I was burnt out but obviously was handling it poorly.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,563
Your lawyer will know what to do - but you might be covered under the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). From what I understand, you can't be fired for being an alcoholic - but you can be fired if it's negatively affected your job. So it's complicated. I'm glad you're seeking advice.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I have been fired for drinking on the job too. Went straight to the pub. Was actually happy I didn't have to worry about work getting in the way of my drinking....utter madness. Get into an inpatient program if you can. It will most likely impress upon the judge that you are making the effort to address your alcoholism.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 113
I think they fired me because of the inability to do my job. Came to work intoxicated...and I was supposed to be the closing manager. Just several stupid decisions on my part. But just hoping to use this as a springboard to get the help I need and live a better way of life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
The truth is that jobs and DUIs aren't really the problem. You'll do a little jail time, pay your fines, blah blah blah. You'll get another job. Then you'll get more DUIs and lose more jobs unless you change something. Ask me how I know.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Hewson,
I am sorry for what brings you here, but glad are here! I am sure things seem like they’re just too much right now, try to focus on what you can control, starting with not drinking. If you have been at your job for a while ,Aubrey you can talk to HR to see if you can voluntarily check into a treatment program and perhaps get your job back after completion.
Figure out what what you need to do next, is there someone you can live with while you get back on your feet, that would allow you to focus on sobriety, and once you’ve got sober time under your belt it will make finding a job much easier.
You can do this!
I am sorry for what brings you here, but glad are here! I am sure things seem like they’re just too much right now, try to focus on what you can control, starting with not drinking. If you have been at your job for a while ,Aubrey you can talk to HR to see if you can voluntarily check into a treatment program and perhaps get your job back after completion.
Figure out what what you need to do next, is there someone you can live with while you get back on your feet, that would allow you to focus on sobriety, and once you’ve got sober time under your belt it will make finding a job much easier.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
It takes what it takes to get sober. There is always a lower bottom to go to. As bad as this sounds right now if you get and stay sober and commit to recovery then in 5 years you’ll be looking back on this helping others in the same situation. I say five years because sobriety and recovery is about playing the long-game even though it is a one day at a time deal. 5 years is how long it takes to totally rebuild your life and have built things back up I reckon but is only an arbitrary figure based on my own experience. It took me ten years really but it’s been a great trip along the way.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
Originally Posted by Hewson1974 
Day 1 of sobriety....can’t actually remember the last day I didn’t have a drink. Can’t sleep well....worried about everything that I’m facing .
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Sorry to hear, but sounds like you know what to do. Best of luck with that. From some one who drank my whole adult life till age 48 and has now been quit close to a year now I can tell you it is truly the way to go. You wont regret it. As you know the dui will eventually be in the past. Just make sure the drinking is also. Its a much better lifestyle.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I am only 9 days sober. My last bender had me arrested under the Mental Health Act. I can't quite remember what I did. I also managed to spend 3 thousand dollars in 6 weeks on booze and cigarettes. I consider myself lucky that is all that happened. I was just brought to the ER and let go. I was just drunk, not in a mental health crisis. I consider that night tame in comparison to other blackouts I've had....
Hopefully, we can learn our lesson. Before it's too late.
Hopefully, we can learn our lesson. Before it's too late.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
Originally Posted by Hewson1974
I believe I suffer from anxiety and depression...never properly treated. Always tried to self medicate with alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 142
The more I read here, the more I think anxiety and depression, and the self medicating of them, are common traits of alcoholics. I'm right there with you.
My anxiety got worse after quitting but I'm told will level off soon.
Congrats on day one. It is incredibly hard but worth it. You are worth it. You are way more than a DUI and a job. Things will get better with time and sobriety.
hugs.
My anxiety got worse after quitting but I'm told will level off soon.
Congrats on day one. It is incredibly hard but worth it. You are worth it. You are way more than a DUI and a job. Things will get better with time and sobriety.
hugs.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Hewson, I hear your pain and I can feel it. It takes me right back to where I was 5 and a half years ago. I was so down. I figured I had ruined my life forever when I got that 3rd DUI. I wondered if there was any coming back. I didn't lose my job, but that was only because I was working part-time and I managed to juggle everything. I went to work the day after my arrest and just sat there in a daze and made it through that shift somehow. But I was a total wreck. By the time I got to work that day I had already spoken at length with a friend I knew had gotten sober a few months before that. He recommended an outpatient program and promised to take me to an AA meeting in the next day or so. I was in treatment a week after the DUI. I had already been to 3 AA meetings in that week. I was still scared and depressed and just generally a mess, but even after one week I started to feel like there was hope. I was seeing people at meetings and hearing their stories, and a lot of them had come back from way worse than my situation was. And they were HAPPY. I wanted that. So I worked. I worked hard. I did what people told me to do. I figured my way of living hadn't worked out so well, so I'd better try something different. Getting through all the legal stuff was difficult. But I did it knowing that if I stayed sober, I'd never have to do it again. Every time I went to court or my appointments with the diversion counselor, I told the truth and was humble. I took my punishment and made it work for me. I got super honest about everything in my life. I made amends to people I had hurt (lots). I became laser-focused on getting better in every way I could.
And I got through all of it. The pain does lessen. But you have to feel that pain and not hide from it. Face it. Do the next right thing every day. You WILL get through it. BTW, I had anxiety and depression, too. I actually had been diagnosed and was on medication. I was off my meds within 6 months of getting sober. Go get evaluated if you can. Meds can really help, and you may also find, as I did, that my drinking really exacerbated my anxiety. I still have it, but I have new and better ways to deal.
And I got through all of it. The pain does lessen. But you have to feel that pain and not hide from it. Face it. Do the next right thing every day. You WILL get through it. BTW, I had anxiety and depression, too. I actually had been diagnosed and was on medication. I was off my meds within 6 months of getting sober. Go get evaluated if you can. Meds can really help, and you may also find, as I did, that my drinking really exacerbated my anxiety. I still have it, but I have new and better ways to deal.
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