May 29th - Day 1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 83
May 29th - Day 1
I think I’ve quit drinking about 10 times now. This site often finds me or I find my way back. I hope I can do it this time. I feel absolutely powerless. I need help. I know that by stating these truths I can find the path back to recovery. It’s not easy though. What’s easy however is drinking. To occupy time with anything other than drinking is the most difficult challenge for me. The long hours, the boredom, the feelings of depression and sadness with what seems like nothing to take it away other than that damn bottle. But I know I’m not alone. This place for one is here. So here I am, asking for help and support. Thanks all for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Hi Meg - great decision. I'm sure you would have read a few posts around this forum so know that there are lots of different ideas on how to manage and overcome the "why I drink" dilemma.
And yes, it is a tough road to recovery, particularly the early days and weeks, but in the big scheme of things, a month or two is not so long given out of the rest of our lives which will be so much better without the alcohol. Depression and sadness is exacerbated by drinking, the long hours can be so much more productive, relaxing and rewarding as we learn and grow, and boredom can easily be replaced with something you enjoy when you have healed even a little bit.
I too used alcohol to escape and now learning to live rather than zone out.
This is all from someone only a few weeks in, so I'm sure you have more experienced than I, but just wanted to offer some encouragement and reassure you that there are a stack of us in early recovery and committed to making it work. I know it is late in the month, but consider joining the May 2020 class. Top bunch of people in early recovery stages and so much support and encouragement there.
You can do this!
And yes, it is a tough road to recovery, particularly the early days and weeks, but in the big scheme of things, a month or two is not so long given out of the rest of our lives which will be so much better without the alcohol. Depression and sadness is exacerbated by drinking, the long hours can be so much more productive, relaxing and rewarding as we learn and grow, and boredom can easily be replaced with something you enjoy when you have healed even a little bit.
I too used alcohol to escape and now learning to live rather than zone out.
This is all from someone only a few weeks in, so I'm sure you have more experienced than I, but just wanted to offer some encouragement and reassure you that there are a stack of us in early recovery and committed to making it work. I know it is late in the month, but consider joining the May 2020 class. Top bunch of people in early recovery stages and so much support and encouragement there.
You can do this!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome back Meg 
If cerain feelings bring you awry, nows a great time to devise a plan to healthily deal with those feelings.
This is a great link on recovery action plans:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
If cerain feelings bring you awry, nows a great time to devise a plan to healthily deal with those feelings.
This is a great link on recovery action plans:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
It's so good to see you back with us, Meg. I felt much as you do when I was contemplating quitting. I knew it had to be done, but worried that I'd never be able to let go. I did it - 12 yrs. ago. You can too. We're here for encouragement & friendship.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 742
Drinking is not easy. Drinking is hard. Drinking sucks. We tend to remember the small portion of time of the enjoyable buzz, then it gets miserable. At least for me sometimes even while I'm still drinking it's right back to restless, irritable, discontent. Then the hangover, more misery and more obsession to drink. Ok, its physically easy to pick up a drink but soon after there is nothing easy about it.
My problem isn't alcohol. I'm not an alcoholic because I drank. I drank because I'm an alcoholic. My problem is me. Once the alcohol is gone I have to live with reality. Thinking through a concept of God or a higher power really helps. The how did I get here and why I am here. Just trusting it, living life on life's terms. I see life as kind of like a river. I spent so much of it trying to grab logs and swim upstream. Its so much easier to just go with it.
Drinking is hard but running is easy. Stretch out and get your running shoes on and put one foot in front of the other. Less hassle then waiting in line at the liquor store. You feel better in no time. Your brain puts out all these feel good chemicals that also help you sleep, sharpen memory, etc. Kind of opening up God's medicine cabinet.
My problem isn't alcohol. I'm not an alcoholic because I drank. I drank because I'm an alcoholic. My problem is me. Once the alcohol is gone I have to live with reality. Thinking through a concept of God or a higher power really helps. The how did I get here and why I am here. Just trusting it, living life on life's terms. I see life as kind of like a river. I spent so much of it trying to grab logs and swim upstream. Its so much easier to just go with it.
Drinking is hard but running is easy. Stretch out and get your running shoes on and put one foot in front of the other. Less hassle then waiting in line at the liquor store. You feel better in no time. Your brain puts out all these feel good chemicals that also help you sleep, sharpen memory, etc. Kind of opening up God's medicine cabinet.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 622
Once I decided I wanted to be sober more then drunk and take it one day at a time, life is sooooo much easier without drinking. I don't have to spend time physically or mentally planning my drinking.
Now it's the occasional/random SOB AV that pops-in followed by a quick kick to the curb.
Now it's the occasional/random SOB AV that pops-in followed by a quick kick to the curb.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,407
“I feel absolutely powerless”. This is an essential for recovery in my experience. Once I accepted I was powerless over alcohol then I could recover. I learned then that I was powerless over nearly everything else too. I then learned that I could take back the power through accepting my powerlessness and living spiritually and being connected to a power greater than myself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: K.C.MO
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by brighterday1234 
“I feel absolutely powerless”. This is an essential for recovery in my experience. Once I accepted I was powerless over alcohol then I could recover. I learned then that I was powerless over nearly everything else too. I then learned that I could take back the power through accepting my powerlessness and living spiritually and being connected to a power greater than myself.
Great Response Brighter! I am "Powerless" as well. Have beed for years.
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Originally Posted by MegTheRunner
I think I’ve quit drinking about 10 times now. This site often finds me or I find my way back. I hope I can do it this time. I feel absolutely powerless. I need help. I know that by stating these truths I can find the path back to recovery. It’s not easy though. What’s easy however is drinking. To occupy time with anything other than drinking is the most difficult challenge for me. The long hours, the boredom, the feelings of depression and sadness with what seems like nothing to take it away other than that damn bottle. But I know I’m not alone. This place for one is here. So here I am, asking for help and support. Thanks all for listening.
I remember your name, I'm a runner too 🙂
I totally relate to everything you said here. I have left this forum and returned a bunch. And I hope I can get it this time too. Obviously it's quite difficult! Long hours, boredom, depression, sadness... yep I'm with you. I have a bunch of regrets, pain, and anger too. One major thing that is keeping me going so far is that I know the bottle won't really take anything away. It just feels that way for awhile and then I'm back where I started.
Welcome back!
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