Mandybabes

Maybe this is denial, maybe because I can't admit to my friends who stop by that there is nothing to drink because I am an alcoholic. My son looked for vodka the other week to make vodka sauce for pasta, and there was none. Why? Because I drank it all. So of course I had to buy some. And some more. He could have made a lot of sauce by now. I think that if I know it is there and I can resist it, I've made it somehow. Maybe that is just stupid.

Anna

Hi Mbtired,

I think I'm lucky because my husband stopped drinking when I did, even though he never had any problem, and we never keep alcohol in the house, nor do we ever servce alcohol to anyone who visits. I am glad we have no alcohol in the house because I know there would be times, in the dark, wee hours of the night, when I was tempted and this way avoids that. It does take a little rethinking to not have alcohol to serve to visitors, but it made me question why I assumed we always should have alcohol to offer. Also, just because you don't have alcohol in the house doesn't have to mean you are an alcoholic. There are other reasons that people don't have/serve alcohol. And, I've also learned, that if someone asks why I'm not drinking, I'm not obliged to answer!

Love, Anna

Ama

Been there and done that. Need wines in my case for sauces and sure dont the children know that I want hard stuff anyway......wine doesnt do the oblivions that I seek you see. And Christmas coming so a bottle of Baileys cause that isnt real booze either. Its just the cunning side of the disease I know too well.

When I was in the Supermarket the other evening with my son this is where my head was going. Had to read alot of Big Book.....SR post reading and writing.....and meetings. This is the insanity of the disease. Early in recovery it is NOT possible to be in the company of alcohol. The way I rationalised it to myself is that where as the children will want the Baileys and beers etc., in the house and even the mulled wine (requiring Brandy of course to make a proper one - yip the madness bit) it is easier to say NO and kinder on them as opposed to the risk to my sobriety (small though it is). I will be doing them the bestest favour I can by refusing to have any in the house or parties etc which inevitably leave the house reeking of booze the next day etc etc etc. If you or I could resist would we be here now......I dont think so.....Keep well, Stay well and an AA meeting would be a really good place to get to! We all have the same fears.....Luvs and Huggles......Ama

Mandybabes

Thank you Anna. I have had friends who come in from out of town and say, gosh I need alcohol now. And they have a swig or two of wine, and that's that. Then I am left to finish everything. Not a nice scenerio. I guess I just need to get over it. Love to you too.

Marilyn

Phinneas

Yup, Marilyn, this disease tries to "rationalize" with us about all sorts of things. Having alcohol in the house can be a very big temptation for most people. Also, it was pointed out in a meeting last night that we think it is NORMAL to always have alcohol on hand, to drink every day, to center our lives around alcohol, or whatever. But the truth is that it is NOT NORMAL. This is part of the re-training we have to do. Like they say, the only thing I have to change is everything.

May you find the strength to pour that stuff down the drain today.

hugs,

jojo

birdonawire

Dear Marilyn, you don't need booze in the house...what a way to torture yourself!! Most non-alcoholics I know never have booze in the house unless its a special occasion. Are you really afraid of how you will feel when it is not there...a feeling of panic maybe. I used to always leave a bit in the bottle because I was afraid of not having it there just in case...like the middle of the night. I was obsessed with it. Do yourself a favour if you want to quit, truly ...get rid of it. All the best!

CAPTAINZING2000

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Having Booze In The House Is Torture. Y Do That?? Look, If We Had The Willpower To Stop We Wouldn't Be Alcoholic. If, There Was Booze In The House, It's Because I Couldn't Finish It Off B 4 I Passed Out. How Much Is Your Sanity Worth? My Family And Close Friends Know I've Quit Drinking. Course, It's Been Over 5 Years. People Get The Hint. Tell Everyone The Truth, You're Alergic To Alcohol. If, These People R Your Friends They'll Understand. If These People Don't They're Not Your Friends.

Mandybabes

Thank you all so much, and you are so correct. I am still having problems with withdrawal and wish it would all just go away. I think I do have a feeling of panic if there is no alcohol in the house. How ridiculous!

Debby

I can relate to your situation, I do the same thing, its like thinking I can be like everyone else and I dont have this disease. I try and try and try but I cant keep it in the house or I use it all up. It is just somthing we have to learn I guess. Ask your son to make the sauce when your not around and to get rid of the bottle when he is done, as for company, just tell them this is a no drinking house.

Hang in there!
Debby

2dayzmuse

Ah yes, I remember those days. The alcohol would call to me and I had to drink it. I couldn't stop thinking about it being in the cupboard. I always intended to have just a bit. Before you know it, the bottle was empty. Know one could know that I had drank it you see. So then would begin the cycle of going to the store to replace it. I would then end up drinking the replacement. I would do this three or four times, until my ruse would eventually be discovered. Oh, the anxiety that game would cause me. I would lay in bed at night, worried I would get caught and I did. It was nothing short of self inflicted torture. As far as alcohol for the sauce goes, Haha...maybe one drop made it into the sauce for good measure. The rest was used to get the cook sauced. It worked everytime.