eve123

iv done something stupid really dumb iv not declaired some money i had and been overpaid some financial stuff. i dint try i just didnt think and just because my heads so full most of time i let this go on. i now realise what iv done abd i wsnt to make things right by telling them and paying what i owe. Thing is im scared i will get in trouble and end up in court or something. how could i have let things get so messy im so scared i always make mess of things so upset cant sleep sick to death of this covid feel so alone and i dont want trouble i just want to pay and have no concenses. i should have declared sone money i got but i didnt and im totally ashamed and mortified wont dribk but cant cope with this fear

Wastinglife

I know that anxiety. I actually had to declare bankruptcy once for exorbitant credit card bills that mainly consisted of booze and holidays.

Anna

I think the best thing to do is to come clean and try to pay what you owe to make things right. If you don't come clean now, this will always be there as a problem that won't go away. I'm sure the anxiety is high at this point, but it's likely that it won't be as awful as you think.

Dee74

Definitely the best thing to do is tell them ASAP you made a mistake and organise a repayment plan you can afford.
I understand the fear - but the longer you wait to do something the less likely they are to be accommodating, eve.

BeABetterMan

First, you're definitely not stupid. Maybe a little distracted? Like Dee and Anna said, if it is the Government, just call them and tell them what happened. If you self-report it's highly unlikely you'll get in trouble and very likely they'll put you on a payment plan. Don't do what I do and catastrophize it. Sit down, get the phone number to the entity you think you owe and make a call. You can do this!

eve123

thanks for replying folk. it is local goverment funds and i ommited information. i stuck my head in sand didnt think trith is im an alcoholic my head not great amd i guess i didnt think. I crate difficult sutiations by not thinking straight then have a mental breakdown trying to get thro it and make things right. im just scared of being prosucited in some way and getting my nsme in paper etc etc just so time to grow up and deal with my life and mistakes. all this amid a pandemic just couldnt make my dramas up honestly! just want peace and a normal thinking head

PeaceInSilence

HI Eve,

Would this cause more harm to you by admitting this? I don't see the point honestly - what about making donations in some way to pay back for the money you took? I think you putting yourself in harms way would cause you more anxiety and stress.....forgive yourself at a time when you were sick, pay back in donations and move on.

Dee74

I don;t know where you live or what amount of money you owe, or who to, but generally if you say nothing and they find out - which 'they' almost always do - I suspect you'll face a much tougher audience and harsher penalties than if you simply own up and start repaying now, eve.

D

Gabe1980

Yeah, I'm thinking the same. Own up to it, apologise and say it was an oversight on your part. If you self-report they are usually just happy that you are coming to them and are getting the money back. If there is an issue, you can claim extenuating circumstances; mental health, addiction, pandemic. They are obliged to take that into consideration too..

Having this kind of thing hanging over you is going to make you ill and it's not worth it. You are not stupid, we have all made a mess of things in the past and had to come clean. You will feel so much better once it is sorted x

eve123

i will have to fes up been going on for while. im willing to just pay it back i want to pay it bk just im scared i will be prosecuted regardles and have it on my record will have negative impact on future employment etc just awful i must have a brain cell lose to be so stupid in first place i just didnt think. i cant cope with legal stuff or courts or anything at the moment will kill me im being honest

Dee74

I know it's terrifying but I hope you can find it in yourself to face the fear eve.
You'll be way better off coming forward yourself.

D

thomas11

Eve, I agree with others. Its highly likely they will find out. They have accountants and auditors etc...whose sole job is to find these mistakes. I would own up to it, tell them you don't have all of it right now and ask for a payment plan. Most are willing. Good luck to you. Do the right thing.

eve123

i am going to make things right face consewuenses and tealise that this kind of stuff will carry on eg chaos bad choices messy, if i do not recover and take my sobriety and rescovery as the main facus of my life. i cannot carry on messing up and causing myself pain and worry. I went in to a zoom aa maeeting today in my local area it felt so good to do that. 9 weeks of isolation its been mostly. thank you folks

brighterday1234

Sobriety and a solid recovery program allows one to repair the wreckage of the past whilst making a calm and peaceful future by living a positive Now. Things always resolve when you live honestly and with integrity in my experience.

Steely

I'd seek advice on what were the penalties before I did anything. Wouldn't like to see you lose your job. Be informed by a professional (legal) beforehand. You'll have to come clean I suppose, but do it with knowledge.

Really great that you spoke about it here Eve. I would have found that very difficult.

Noam19

I agree with Anna. Come clean, pay what you owe, accept any consequences and move forward. In my experience, people are a lot more understanding, lenient and forgiving when the money is in their hand!