vkf

Hope everyone is ok. On a 3rd day no booze today. I had a really nasty few day bender that landed me in the er for withdrawals. In addition to that mess at the tale end of the session I called and reached out to a couple real close friends and parent.

Just wanted to say hello ( was on the forum for a short while) then figured once again I could handle it on my own. NOT AGAIN!!
Have a plan started that involves a counselor but wanted to have you great folks as support as well.
Occasionally I would read here during a bought but never had the courage to log back in.

Anna

Good job on Day 3 and I'm glad you're back and posting.

least

Welcome back!

Coldfusion

Welcome back! Three days is awesome!

I hope this is the beginning of a permanent recovery. Read around and post often--it works if you work it! Here's a couple good threads to join:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7450650 (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 486)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7450642

vkf

Thank you great folks for the open arms. See the therapist Wens morning, meeting with a good buddy today and explained everything to my wife. Soon as I can locate a step program that works with why crazy work schedule will be working that. At the very least I reordered a book I tossed like an idiot few years ago.

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back VKF

Hevyn

It's good to see you, vkf. It took me way too long to realize willpower alone was never going to work for me. One drink always led to 10 - and in the end, 'round the clock drinking.
Congrats on your Day 3. You sound ready!

Wastinglife

I have too many ER visits to count. All alcohol related. I have been put on a new medication for alcohol cravings as I obviously never learn my lesson. Welcome back.

Steely

I've tossed a lot of books too vkf. Thought I could do it on my own. And, I guess I am, but it's really helpful to have support from others, particularly in these early days.

Nearly 5 months for me and can say the best thing I have ever done for myself, and will be same for you. Three days is a real milestone, and hope you have chosen to continue your journey. For me, it has turned out to be interesting to say the least. Drunk was never interesting.

Reid82

Welcome back, use the tools here to help you stay sober.

Calitano

Stick around vkf. Well done on 3 days.
It took me more than a few goes around and much on off posting/readying from here/multiple books etc, but when you're ready, you're ready and the right tools and support kind of assemble themselves.

vkf

I really appreciate all the support. Had a good long talk with my buddy today and I feel so bad for putting into my mess.

If I could get this friggin leave I would feel so much better. Anyone else ever try sleeping and feel like cant breath electrical shock deal?

When checked myself into the ER several days ago and they checked everything. Thank the lord I went because the withdrawls were nothing like I ever experienced.

Coz

Definitely had that can't breathe sensation for the first three nights. I did find the 'navy breathing' (can't recall its proper name) useful. Breathe in and hold for 4 seconds with lungs full, breathe out and hold for four seconds with lungs empty. Hopefully it will ease up from now, but if not, worth getting checked out. We really did muck up our bodies with alcohol over-indulgence

nez

Hi vkf, glad you decided to come back around! This place is all about help (giving and receiving) and we. There is strength in numbers and the more "we" there are, the better.

FWIW, not logging in, never helped me. Nor did my not logging in, help anyone else either, even during all those years when I could have been a help as a poster boy for "don't let this happen to you". :~)

BeABetterMan

Welcome back, the more the merrier. If I had a dollar for everything I went through agonizing withdrawals... that breathing thing will definitely pass. Anxiety plays a role, so just know that the docs have you a clean bill of heath. When I really start freaking out about my breathing, I go for a walk. Sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

Verdantia

Welcome back, vkf. Three days is awesome. I know all too well how horrific withdrawals can be, but the good news is that you never have to experience another one. SR is a great place for advice, wisdom, and support--it has been a vital part of my recovery. I hope you stick around and keep posting. In early March I had to do some traveling, and airports are a big trigger for me. I posted here during a layover, even though I felt strong and have been sober for over four years--the good people here kept me focused and away from any bars--airports are a minefield of them. I wish you all the best in your continuing sobriety.

Dee74

Welcome back vkf

D

vkf

Once again just wanted to say thankyou for all the kind words and encourage. The breathing and walking really helped with,guess its anxiety. My day 4 starts in a few hours and I cant wait. Days of starting at the clock pacing has not been easy.

and this site has so much info on its nonstop. Not sure how long I've been reading stuff today but my eyes are worn out..

Long long journey ahead and I still have to worry where I stand with my wife. Too many times did I tell her no more booze. I know staying sober is priority 1 but if she could find away 1 more time. What a friggin mess I made

TiredCarpenter

Glad you are here vkf!

The first three days are excruciating and long. They’ll start getting better now.

I like what Calitano said, above, about how things come to us when we are ready.

After my last drunk, I knew that no words would endear my wife back to a place where she had trust in me. I had to need and want change in my life. Had to make that change. Had to open my heart to recovery.

Like you, I began posting here regularly. I then learned to trust again.

It was, I think, 52 days of sobriety before I got a kiss from my wife.

At 57 days sober I have more peace in my heart than I have ever known. Hugs are back too.

Stick with us. Check in often!

You can do this!

DriGuy

When drinking turns into a disaster, and you realize your life is going downward at an alarmingly accelerating pace our first thought is to get this "thing"under control. From a logical perspective it makes perfect sense, and we should be applauded for having that insight. This is often the start of our recovery, and it may be the first critical mistake we make too. To control our drinking literally means exactly what it says, and while we sincerely want to make that happen, the fact is that we can never control our drinking, because alcoholism is "an inability to control our drinking."

If you are predisposed to thinking logically, you must come to grips with two mutually exclusive opposites: 1)We must control our drinking, while 2)we suffer from a condition of an inability to control our drinking. The logic behind "control" is flawed, because the solution is impossible. What we need is a different solution.

Fortunately, another solution (abstinence) exists. It's the real solution, and while we resist embracing it at first, it turns out to be a wonderfully rewarding change in our lives, better than we imagine. Living without alcohol??? How rewarding can that be? It doesn't even sound possible. But you will eventually see. Maybe not tonight or next week, but soon enough. Abstinence eliminates the need to control and eliminates the nasty always losing battle over the drink that is the foundation of alcoholism. This is the real first step toward recovery.

There's more, but in my mind all the rest of the things we do in actual recovery are not as daunting as accepting abstinence. In AA, it's basically that first step (accepting we are powerless over alcohol). And that's not just true only in AA. It's a step we must all embrace no matter what path we end up following.