Day Two of my sober journey
 

Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum and this is my first time posting so bare with me. Yesterday, after waking up with yet another ridiculous hangover, rendering me incapable of doing anything productive, I decided enough was enough. I made the decision that that would be my last hangover I would ever experience and it was time to change. Yesterday was the easiest day because I had an awful hangover, but I know that tonight when I get home from work at 8.30 it is all I will be able to think about. I never ever saw myself as someone who could be dependant on alcohol - I'm a mother of two, I study a university course and I work. I have, however, been in therapy for the past year or so, and I think that my decision to finally stop drinking will have a great benefit on my ability to utilise the skills I have learnt there. For once I have been honest with my partner and told him my reasons for wanting to get sober, and he has been great (so far). He has said he will knock it on the head for a while in support of me, so I don't have to see him sipping cans. I think this will be a great help.

So here we are, day two on my sober journey. I'm terrified and excited all at the same time. Any tips for ignoring the cravings at night greatly received!

Hi and welcome Time4Change2020 :)

I'm really glad you found us - this community helped me turn my life around. I know we can help you to do the same :

Support has really made the difference for me - it's a real gamechanger to be understood and to be give a little hope - and you'll find that here :)

D

Welcome!

I'm still early in my quit but what has helped me was...

-I really wanted to be sober more then drinking.

-Eating sweets when the craving/addictive voice [AV] wanted to have a talk. Oreo's are my go to. :)

-Drinking water when the AV again wanted to lie to me.

-Do something physically active. Even if it was walking do the street and it was just that at the start.

-Don't think past this min./hour or day. Just don't take the first drink. Sounds easy, I know.

As days accumulate, the cravings reduce and life becomes so much easier and nicer without having to plan how and when to drink.

HTH

Hi Time,

I’m also new to recovery, starting day 5 today, I think you’ll benefit from this forum, the people on here are amazing, friendly and have experience so you can get all the information and support a forum can offer.

The first days for me I exercised hard to exhaust myself and am still doing this now, although that’s not for everyone. Keep hydrated and just concentrate hard on not picking up the first drink is the best I can offer you at the moment, I’m sure others will reply with advice and tips.

Good luck and keep us up to date with your progress 😁

Hi and welcome to SR

On a practical day by day level for me, eating early in the evening is a must. Keep hyrdated, keep busy ad keep focused.
Support and a plan to stay sober are also necessary.

Hey,

that’s a great start.
it sounds like you have a lot to live for. Sobriety is not easy...

I think it’s also fantastic that your partner wants to support you by not drinking however bear in mind that you will forever be surrounded by alcohol. I never realised until I started my journey of stopping drinking that not having it in the house was not enough. A lot of the time tv ads or shows would come on and glamorise drinking or walking past a store advertising drinks. There is no escape from that.

if you havnt already done it have you considered building a sobriety network that could help? Maybe aa or confiding in any close friends or family who may be able to support you if you are having a bad day? I found this really helpful. It took me many tries to finally get it and stop falling in my usual pattern of not drinking for a couple of weeks and being straight back there.

one of the most common reasons for relapses are insomnia. Drink will put you to sleep but it isn’t proper sleep. When you give it up often you will find that it takes a few weeks to establish a clean sleeping regime again. Don’t be put off by this. Sleep will return!

my weight was also a trigger. As soon as I have up I would be hungry all the time and my weight would fluctuate massively. Again, this will calm down and if it is something that affects you it shall pass. The most important thing to remember if you gain or loose a some it’s not going to hurt you in the long run. Alcohol can cause all sorts of problems like fatty liver, cirrosis and even seizures if you are a dependant who has stopped without medical help.

i don’t mean to scare you by this. Just if you think you need it may be worth getting checked by a doctor as well. Never easy talking about it but if you need anything they can help with medication or talking therapies that can go a long way in sobriety and make your life so much easier!

For me, "understanding WHY," I drank in the first place was key to stopping abusive partaking in drugs, including alcohol.
Addictions always serve an emotional purpose and that purpose is to reverse feeling of FEAR or more specifically overwhelming helplessness, feeling trapped, powerless and out of control. Addictive behavior is never random, addictive behavior is learned. There is always a reason and a reward. Whatever is rewarded gets repeated. (Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat). You can’t get addicted to a substance or behavior that doesn’t do something for you! The antidote is to find and replace your temporary quick fix or mood changer with something more valuable to you. Empower yourself and regain control of your emotions by facing them directly or replacing them with some other high value behavior. These are learned behaviors. Just the way we learned that a quick fix or mood changer of substances helped us to regain control. I hope that makes some sense. :-)

Two excellent books that you might find valuable are, The Heart of Addiction by addiction Psychiatrist, Lance Dodes and The Freedom Model for Addictions written by a couple of addicts. The latter is available free if you google it.

Hi, Time4Change.

Welcome!

Day 2 is terrific and it sounds like you're ready to stop drinking for good.

I'm glad that you have your partner's support. :)

Welcome to SR. What a great place this is. Put pen to paper to start to tackle cravings. What time of day do they start? When are they done for the night? If you stay sober, pay close attention to that window. Today assume it will be on the way home from work until you drop into bed. For that time period, don't leave a single minute unscripted or idle, unless idleness is consciously practiced and is part of the schedule. Do something different. Try to either get out of the setting in which you normally drank and change that up. If you track your craving window daily, you will notice that it will start to shrink and eventually go down to nothing. You will steal deal with the pop-up situational craving here and there, but the daily craving siege of early sobriety won't happen in such a pronounced way.

There are many tools to address cravings and many other tools to stay sober. Look at all of them and when you find tools that work for you, work those tools as part of a plan. Liking to walk is not a tool to stay sober and isn't part of a plan. Actually walking is the tool and walking is part of the plan. Etc.

Welcome and keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Thank you so much for your replies everyone. We downloaded a new game for the PS4 last night that we could play together, which is something we wouldn’t be able to do if I was sat guzzling wine, so that kept me distracted til bedtime last night. I still feel groggy this morning and it’s day 3, but the medication I’m on for something else can have that effect on me so I’m guessing it is just that.

Thank you for your replies, there are some brilliant ideas in there that I will certainly be taking heed of. I’m actually excited that I’m at day 3 as it’s been quite a while since I’ve not drank for 3 days (and that both terrified and disgusts me).

Welcome to SR and on your new journey too.

Congrats on day 3 Time4Change!

I reckon the first three days are the worst (physically), so you are now well on your way to being a non-drinker. Also great that you have support at home - you can do this.

Hi Time4change.

Day 3 is Amazing! There are a few of us around in our first week; so please feel free PM if you want someone to work through it together.

I'm on day 6. Have done this a few times but I'm still figuring out as I go.

Congrats on deciding to make a change :hug:

Hi thank you yes some support from fellow newbies would be great. I too have tried before and never made it past a few days. Today I have an awful headache (I suffer with migraines, but this is different). It’s a similar headache to the kind I get if I skip a couple of days medication (by accident) which scares me because could that mean it’s a withdrawal headache? I never considered my pattern of drinking could’ve gotten so severe to cause withdrawal symptoms.

Hey mate,

Well done on Day three. I'm only one day ahead of you on Day 4. Yesterday was horrendous, but feeling slightly better today.

Are you suffering many withdrawals? If so, sure let me know which ones and I'll try to help

I generally suffer from all manner of withdrawals: muscle spasms, hallucinations etc, yours might not be as acute, but let us know.. I went to hospital and got some Librium to help, it's life saver to be fair. So if you are in a position to get a benzo med, I'd recommend it. At least it can help you sleep, which is half the battle.

From my experience Day 3 is rough, can be tougher than first two days, but you will get there, in a couple of days you'll be 100 better then you feel at this moment.

Keep in touch.

Andrew

Time4 - Staying distracted was key for me in the beginning. It calmed the jitters. Congratulations on your Day 3 - we know how challenging it is in the early days.

Andrew - Well done on reaching 4 days sober! :yup: So hard - but so rewarding & worth it.

Welcome to SR, Time4change. Day three is wonderful. It should get easier from here. It could take a while before you feel all better, though.

Hi Andrew,

Just the headaches at the moment and insomnia, but I’m guessing the insomnia could be contributing to the headaches as well. I get muscle spasms with my anxiety anyway, so I’m used to those. I’ve downloaded a 2 player game me and my partner can play together, which I feel might be a helpful distraction as I love gaming but often didn’t find the (sober) time to play! I really hope all this is worth it.

I’m actually moved and quite overwhelmed by the amount of supportive people here, as I don’t have many I can talk to in “real life” situation. Thank you everyone.

Make sure you drink enough water. Staying hydrated may help with the headache :)

D