My fiance is a 13 year heroin addict, please help me
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Nobody is suggesting you move over to the F&F and not post here. Folks here are just giving you their take on this bad situation that you are in and telling you what their experience is. Just because you found a person on another thread who lost a loved one to addiction after a fight doesn't mean you should stay with your significant other so that doesn't happen. You cannot keep him from dying despite all of the enabling you can muster. I hope you stay on this thread and let us know how it is going. But on SR you will hear things that go contrary to your hopes and are focused on you going after the best future that you can.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 7
Oh, sorry I misunderstood, I thought I was posting in the wrong channel. Yes, I was going to stick around here too, as this was my first support group and I would always remember my first post and the advice I received. Thanks guys!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I was the one who suggested F&F but I didn't mean you aren't welcome here. It's just that recovery from an addictive relationship required me to look at it honestly and to look at myself honestly and figure out how it happened that I would allow something to go on for more than five minutes, and why I was trying to control, fix, bargain, and negotiate with someone who had no interest in a healthy relationship.
He's in deep.
You're in deep with him.
There is a way out. When I was in it, someone dear to me said, "You can't change him." That smacked me right upside the head, and they were right.
The folks over on the F&F side are trying to heal themselves from allowing an addict to be in their lives...and learning to accept that they can't change anyone other than themselves. Lots of wisdom over there about the same type things.
He's in deep.
You're in deep with him.
There is a way out. When I was in it, someone dear to me said, "You can't change him." That smacked me right upside the head, and they were right.
The folks over on the F&F side are trying to heal themselves from allowing an addict to be in their lives...and learning to accept that they can't change anyone other than themselves. Lots of wisdom over there about the same type things.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Love, marriage. relationships shouldn't be one sided. Does he love you-not just say it but show it in his actions? does he support you emotionally and mentally? Does he cherish you? Does he support you when you have problems and need support from a partner? It all seems so one sided. He takes money from you. He has no job. He takes support from you. He takes your mental health. He takes your love. As someone else said - you wish, you hope, you want, you support. But what do YOU actually get out of this deal. What does he do for you. You don't have to answer me of course but worth thinking about. What sort of husband and father would he be.
You seem to have lost all sense of self and self worth. I hope you can take steps to focus on yourself and move forward for your own sake
You seem to have lost all sense of self and self worth. I hope you can take steps to focus on yourself and move forward for your own sake
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