World fell apart over the weekend, need to stop drinking
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I've said this before and its not necessarily something warm and fuzzy, but drinking for alcoholics has consequences, sometimes severe. We hope that at some point the consequences outweigh any perceived benefit. I hope you can put the pieces back together and start a sober journey.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Welcome!
The support available will overwhelm you. There is a worldwide fellowship with millions of members that holds frequent support meetings, almost all online now due to COVID-19. Here is a link to a "Step One" meeting at 1:30 PM Pacific Daylight Time (in about two hours from the time of this post). You will need to download Zoom to participate.
https://zoom.us/j/430616633?status=success
The support available will overwhelm you. There is a worldwide fellowship with millions of members that holds frequent support meetings, almost all online now due to COVID-19. Here is a link to a "Step One" meeting at 1:30 PM Pacific Daylight Time (in about two hours from the time of this post). You will need to download Zoom to participate.
https://zoom.us/j/430616633?status=success
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Smiles - It's great to meet you. I'm sorry for the pain you're in. I had to have bad things happen in order to face reality - wish it hadn't been necessary.
Being here has helped me in so many ways. I drank most of my life - never imagined getting by without it. Reading & posting on SR took away the desperate, lonely feeling I had. No one else in my life understood what I was going through. We're here to encourage you as you begin a new & better life. You can do it.
Being here has helped me in so many ways. I drank most of my life - never imagined getting by without it. Reading & posting on SR took away the desperate, lonely feeling I had. No one else in my life understood what I was going through. We're here to encourage you as you begin a new & better life. You can do it.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Welcome to SR and Congratulations on your decision Smiles!
I lost my wife through my behaviour too. Obviously we cannot put relationships etc back to how they were but quitting booze goes a long way to restoring our self respect or at least it did in my case and I was surprised at how much that meant to me.
Sleeplessness was a HUGE problem for me on my failed attempts to get sober. What worked for me was forcing myself to get up really early and going jogging or walking. It is a tough thing to do but the payoff of feeling tired and sleepy come 10pm or so is massive and it cut out the peak craving time. I also found it lifted my mood and funally of course it is good for your overall health too. I did not go overboard, 20 minutes jogging was enough.
Good luck!
I lost my wife through my behaviour too. Obviously we cannot put relationships etc back to how they were but quitting booze goes a long way to restoring our self respect or at least it did in my case and I was surprised at how much that meant to me.
Sleeplessness was a HUGE problem for me on my failed attempts to get sober. What worked for me was forcing myself to get up really early and going jogging or walking. It is a tough thing to do but the payoff of feeling tired and sleepy come 10pm or so is massive and it cut out the peak craving time. I also found it lifted my mood and funally of course it is good for your overall health too. I did not go overboard, 20 minutes jogging was enough.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well done. When I had trouble sleeping sometimes hot herbal tea would help, or something to eat. I try not to go to bed hungry, it sets me up for poor sleep.
Tomorrow when you get up, how about a walk outdoors? I think that was one of my favorite things. That and good nutrition. Goes a long way to healing.
Onward!
Tomorrow when you get up, how about a walk outdoors? I think that was one of my favorite things. That and good nutrition. Goes a long way to healing.
Onward!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by saoutchik 
Welcome to SR and Congratulations on your decision Smiles!
I lost my wife through my behaviour too. Obviously we cannot put relationships etc back to how they were but quitting booze goes a long way to restoring our self respect or at least it did in my case and I was surprised at how much that meant to me.
Sleeplessness was a HUGE problem for me on my failed attempts to get sober. What worked for me was forcing myself to get up really early and going jogging or walking. It is a tough thing to do but the payoff of feeling tired and sleepy come 10pm or so is massive and it cut out the peak craving time. I also found it lifted my mood and funally of course it is good for your overall health too. I did not go overboard, 20 minutes jogging was enough.
Good luck!
I lost my wife through my behaviour too. Obviously we cannot put relationships etc back to how they were but quitting booze goes a long way to restoring our self respect or at least it did in my case and I was surprised at how much that meant to me.
Sleeplessness was a HUGE problem for me on my failed attempts to get sober. What worked for me was forcing myself to get up really early and going jogging or walking. It is a tough thing to do but the payoff of feeling tired and sleepy come 10pm or so is massive and it cut out the peak craving time. I also found it lifted my mood and funally of course it is good for your overall health too. I did not go overboard, 20 minutes jogging was enough.
Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 49
Do all of you have this voice in your head saying a few drinks will be fine once you get sober for a while? I can't seem to shake it. It just makes me feel that even if I stop for a while I'll just revert back to normal sooner or later.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Hi Smiles and welcome 
Sorry to read about your breakup.
I've struggled with getting to sleep for ages. It's only now become better, but I usually listened to something in my attempts to get some sleep. Sometimes ASMR videos on YouTube, but for addiction related topics, I'd recommend listening to Gabor Mate talks on Youtube. He has 'one of those voices' that has a tendency of putting a person to sleep. Since the topics he discusses are interesting and relevant, it functions as a double whammy because our brains always seem to do the exact opposite of what we want ...if we want to stay up and listen, it lulls us to sleep and vice versa.
Tiring yourself out by whatever means other than toxic substances is the best prep for sleep, and then I added the listening material. As long as there's not blue light shining somewhere, you should be good (I listen from my phone, but put it screen down on the night stand, so there's no light from it - and turned off automatic play on YouTube, because one video/talk is usually enough to fall asleep, and it won't kill the battery if you need an alarm etc).
Good luck and I hope you'll feel better soon.
Sorry to read about your breakup.I've struggled with getting to sleep for ages. It's only now become better, but I usually listened to something in my attempts to get some sleep. Sometimes ASMR videos on YouTube, but for addiction related topics, I'd recommend listening to Gabor Mate talks on Youtube. He has 'one of those voices' that has a tendency of putting a person to sleep. Since the topics he discusses are interesting and relevant, it functions as a double whammy because our brains always seem to do the exact opposite of what we want ...if we want to stay up and listen, it lulls us to sleep and vice versa.
Tiring yourself out by whatever means other than toxic substances is the best prep for sleep, and then I added the listening material. As long as there's not blue light shining somewhere, you should be good (I listen from my phone, but put it screen down on the night stand, so there's no light from it - and turned off automatic play on YouTube, because one video/talk is usually enough to fall asleep, and it won't kill the battery if you need an alarm etc).
Good luck and I hope you'll feel better soon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
I've been telling myself I might have a beer or two sometime in the future for 11 months now. As long as you dont act on it its ok. Sometimes its easier that coming to terms that you cant ever drink again. Problem drinking sucks and being sober is way better. If you drink till you have a problem then you have had enough. Try living sober now for a change of pace. Trust me. You wont regret not drinking.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Yes, smiles - that was the way of thinking that led to my destruction. I always insisted I could use willpower to just have 'a few' now and then. It never happened once - one drink led to 10 - then more the next day - and complete dependency in the end.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
“That voice..” , yep.
It exists, and only for more booze. It’s the real terminator ,”..that’s all he does”
Up thread BB, recommend a thread on AVRT , Addictive Voice Recognition Technique, it’s all about that voice.
Learning about the ideas in AVRT is how I decided to never again let that voice get its precious stuff.
IT told me to get It more booze , I couldn’t afford that price paid in mind , body and soul.
You should stop paying it too, you can , you got this
It exists, and only for more booze. It’s the real terminator ,”..that’s all he does”
Up thread BB, recommend a thread on AVRT , Addictive Voice Recognition Technique, it’s all about that voice.
Learning about the ideas in AVRT is how I decided to never again let that voice get its precious stuff.
IT told me to get It more booze , I couldn’t afford that price paid in mind , body and soul.
You should stop paying it too, you can , you got this
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 146
I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup. I’ve lost loads of people including my best friend—it sucks. I’m still early in my journey, 91 days, and my sleep is still a bit off but nothing like those first few days. I had some nights where I just laid in bed breathing deeply, heart pounding, repeating to myself “there is a physiological reason you are experiencing this.” I felt totally crazy and had to remind myself that the hurt I had anyway was exacerbated by my body getting rid of booze. It will pass.
Keep coming back! The community is full of support.
Keep coming back! The community is full of support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 49
Thank you all for your posts, this is all really helping me. Well I actually managed to sleep for a couple of hours, I couldn't believe it when I woke up, I was expecting a night of anxious writhing in bed.
Then my good friend called and demanded I go to her Zoom yoga class at 0730am before work and here I am back at work today (working from home) when I thought I'd need the week off to feel sorry for myself and feel like sh*t. It was only my second ever yoga class but it's great for taking your mind off things.
I've only gotten through one night without booze and I'm still utterly heartbroken but I'm still a little proud of myself for getting here. I have to be careful though because sometimes I've rewarded myself for getting through one night, only one damn night, with a load of booze the next night. Ridiculous I know.
Tonight is the next challenge, and the night after that and the night after that. I really need to stay away from booze and fix my poor head.
Then my good friend called and demanded I go to her Zoom yoga class at 0730am before work and here I am back at work today (working from home) when I thought I'd need the week off to feel sorry for myself and feel like sh*t. It was only my second ever yoga class but it's great for taking your mind off things.
I've only gotten through one night without booze and I'm still utterly heartbroken but I'm still a little proud of myself for getting here. I have to be careful though because sometimes I've rewarded myself for getting through one night, only one damn night, with a load of booze the next night. Ridiculous I know.
Tonight is the next challenge, and the night after that and the night after that. I really need to stay away from booze and fix my poor head.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by prettiekittie
I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup. I’ve lost loads of people including my best friend—it sucks. I’m still early in my journey, 91 days, and my sleep is still a bit off but nothing like those first few days. I had some nights where I just laid in bed breathing deeply, heart pounding, repeating to myself “there is a physiological reason you are experiencing this.” I felt totally crazy and had to remind myself that the hurt I had anyway was exacerbated by my body getting rid of booze. It will pass.
Keep coming back! The community is full of support.
Keep coming back! The community is full of support.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 354
Hi smiles, good to see you here and congrats on getting through that first night. 
It's not easy to not beat yourself up for all those lost opportunities - I'm still learning to forgive myself - but you cannot change the past. You can only do what you can do today,
Stay sober, look after yourself, and keep posting. As you've seen already the support here is amazing!
It's not easy to not beat yourself up for all those lost opportunities - I'm still learning to forgive myself - but you cannot change the past. You can only do what you can do today,
Stay sober, look after yourself, and keep posting. As you've seen already the support here is amazing!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 49
So I had a zoom session with a counsellor today, I've tried them before and they didn't inspire me to continue but this guy seemed really good. Similar age to me and very well spoken. I have a very cynical mind and try to self sabotage a lot, and this is made far worse when I'm hungover all the time. It's 6.40pm here. I've been thinking about alcohol but I don't really want it, that doesn't mean I'm still comfortable with my mind right now. I have realised I can't be in a relationship with my current mindset and I feel sorry for the person I upset and was affected by my f*cked up mind. We did talk last night and at least we are on good terms, she'll be ok and frankly better off without me if i keep reverting to bad habits and bad thought patterns.
I don't want to drink right now but I'm scared of the new life ahead of me, I've never known any other way than the cycles I've been repeating for 20 something years now. I also don't have much faith in myself to do things differently. I guess I just have to focus on not drinking tonight, at least that will be a step in the right direction if I make it. I wish I could shake the voices in my head that bully me and tell me I can't succeed at anything and make me throw in the towel with everything eventually.
I don't want to drink right now but I'm scared of the new life ahead of me, I've never known any other way than the cycles I've been repeating for 20 something years now. I also don't have much faith in myself to do things differently. I guess I just have to focus on not drinking tonight, at least that will be a step in the right direction if I make it. I wish I could shake the voices in my head that bully me and tell me I can't succeed at anything and make me throw in the towel with everything eventually.
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