2020

Its obviously never a good time to get a DUI, but during this whole Covid 19 pandemic, I feel that's it's even worse. I just got my 2nd DUI in March and haven't been to court yet bc of the virus suspending most cases here. I have an attorney, but there is nothing they can currently do as he is waiting for the video evidence and there is a logjam with these requests right now.
I really feel that I have messed up my life in many ways as I had everything going perfect! New home, new job...finally felt like me and my family was making it and then boom. 2nd DUI in 3 years. First I do thank God that I didn't hurt myself or anyone else, but I do question how can I move past this? I don't have any record other than these DUI'S but it feels like I'm just as bad as a murderer/ rapist. Is there life after a 2nd DUI?
one of my friends think that covid 19 is somehow helping me with this charge, but in my mind, it's only delaying the inevitable.

Coldfusion

Are you staying sober?&nbsp; I think it is a good idea to attend as many AA meetings as possible (they are online now) and keep a record of them to show the judge.&nbsp; I wish you all the best!&nbsp;<div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

SoberLeigh

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SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, 2020.<div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Yes, it is good to be thankful that no one was injured, or worse, in the course of your DUI.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>It is equally good that you question how to move past this.</div><div><br></div><div>Sobriety and Recovery are the way to move past this event, and move into an exponentially better way to live.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Without Sobriety and Recovery, history could well repeat itself with, perhaps dire and irreversible consequences.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>If you are looking for recovery, you have come to a forum which will provide great support, encouragement and understanding g along your journey.</div>

SoberLeigh

Very sorry for the formatting issues.

brighterday1234

If you stay sober and live recovery you’ll find a way past a 2nd DUI.

JADIII

<div>Hey 2020.&nbsp; I had 2 DUI's in 3 years also.&nbsp; This was a bunch of years ago but still pretty fresh in my memory.&nbsp; I'll jump forward first.&nbsp; Right now I have a home, family, 2 kids and a good job that requires me to drive quite a bit for work so there's light at the end of the tunnel.&nbsp; The good news for me and possibly you is that the first one I had was a "freebie" whereas I lost my license for a month and then got a work permit but it would be off my record (criminally) if I kept my nose clean.&nbsp; The second one was a bit tougher as I had to find ways to commute to places (trains, busses, etc.) and that was for a year and I will admit, it sucked.&nbsp; But I never gave up and quit and just kept on moving forward.&nbsp; <br></div><div><br></div><div>So I guess depending on what state you're in determines the good and bad and the ugly.&nbsp; I had an attorney which helped me a ton and got things expedited for me and, most importantly, he was able to talk to the prosecutor about odds and ends to help mitigate the impact.&nbsp; Having an attorney is crucial and me showing remorse in front of the judge also helped (I think).&nbsp; <br></div><div><br></div><div>I think now you may have to have a ignition switch that you blow into which can be costly but that depends on the state.&nbsp; <br></div><div><br></div><div>So I guess there's not a lot of good to come out of this but it's not the end of the world either.&nbsp; So yes, things may suck for a little bit but you can make a complete recovery like I did and get your life back.</div><div><br></div><div>Assuming that you're working from home now this is a good thing as all of these days go towards your license suspension so you don't have to take a bus or get a ride for a while until you back in the office.&nbsp; I guess what I'm saying is the longer you work at home the better as it gives you more time under your belt.<br></div>

thomas11

<div>Stay sober</div><div><br></div><div>Start attending some type of support group, the obvious being AA.&nbsp; This will show judge you are taking things seriously.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>Use the delay to start rebuilding immediately. It may be 2 years before your case see's the light of day, use the time to "get ahead" if possible.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>Stay sober.&nbsp;</div>

Anna

The only way to get past the DUIs is to stay sober.<div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Do you plan to stop drinking and if so, do you have a plan in mind for doing so?</div>

Surrendered19

There are many futures after a 2nd DWI and one of them is a 3rd DWI and prison time. In my home state your 3rd in under 10 years is a felony. And if you kill a person while driving drunk, you won't be as bad as a murderer, you will in fact be a murderer.&nbsp;<div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Let's get this thing figured out 2020. You don't want that future. You seem to have so much good in your life.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div>

Buckley3

<div><br></div><div>My advice for moving past it is to own it.&nbsp; All of it.&nbsp; It's going to suck at times - they'll rub your nose in it, turn you upside down and shake the money out of your pockets, etc..&nbsp; The best way through all of that is THROUGH it.</div><div><br></div><div>Use it as a means to fuel the FAR more important opportunity you have - living sober.&nbsp; It's great.</div><div><br></div><div>For context, I'm 26 months sober.&nbsp; On February 21st, 2018 I fell asleep behind the wheel and ran my car into a utility pole at 60 mph.&nbsp; Received my 3rd DUI along with 7 days in county and 5+ months of house arrest.&nbsp; Not to mention the big bucks it drained me of.</div><div><br></div><div>Best thing that ever happened to me.&nbsp; Oh, it sucked at the time.&nbsp; But it got my attention - I made a pact with myself that I would never ignore that voice in my head trying to tell me that my previous life was unsustainable and not worth it.&nbsp; I've kept that pact and my life is immeasurably better for it.</div><div><br></div><div>You will survive this.&nbsp; Embrace the suck and start the work of investing in yourself - you deserve it.</div><div><br></div><div>Best to you.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>-B</div>

Anna

2020, my apologies for the mess of letters in our posts to you.


As a newbie, you wouldn't know, but it's not usually like this, so please hang in there. The techies are working on things right now.

Misssy2

I fortunately never got a DUI...but my alcohol brain KNOWS that even a 2nd DUI may not be enough to have someone ready to stop drinking.
I wish you the best in your case and hope that your "brain" decides it is time to get sober.

TiredCarpenter

Stay sober until your court date. Present yourself honestly, as you are no doubt regretful. The judge is human. He/she will hear your truth and your regrets. If there are reasons in your life that jail time puts insurmountable stress on others in your family, the judge with be sympathetic. I have found this.

I spent a couple of months AGONIZING over a DUI charge I was facing. (well past my 2nd) I had already informed my 70+ Mother, my 50+ sister, and some trusted folks at work (an old friend that happens to work within our union) to expect that I was “going away” for a spell.

My day in court arrived. Thanks to some very eloquent words from my lawyer, and the ability to present myself as regretful, contrite, but also with a definite recovery plan, things went well. I was able to go home with my Wife. No incarceration and a much smaller fine than I expected.


I’m left with the humble recognition that some people in this world genuinely care about our ‘person’. I got way too close to the flame that time.
(though I’d love to dance, smile, and shout about how this turned out, I dare not. I should humbly take this lesson and bear it honestly throughout my life.

The very best to you in your recovery efforts.

TiredCarpenter

And.....yes, a DUI makes you feel lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.

Sure did for me.

Dee74

Welcome 2020

A lot of the folks here will tell you a DUI (or a second one) can be the ending to a bad old story and the start of a great Chapter Two.

D

Delilah1

Posting here is a great start. Going into your court date with a big chunk of sobriety under your belt and a recovery plan is a great place to start. As hard as it is try not to worry about the “what if’s,” with the court, I know that won’t be easy, but worrying will only make you more stressed now. Stay focused on making positions choices each day in your recovery, you can get through this and use it as a a new starting point. I saw Buckley posted above, if you have some time take a look back at his early posts, was how he handled going through this, and how he came out stronger than before.

EndGameNYC

"I really feel that I have messed up my life in many ways as I had everything going perfect!"

You feel that way because that's what you did.

The kind of shame and self-loathing you describe often gets our attention but doesn't always convince us to stop.

You now have a great opportunity: You can continue to mess things up; you can pause and then resume messing things up; or you can do something different.

C0ntr0ls

I've had two and there is a GREAT life waiting for you after them if you want to stop drinking.
I lost a lot that included my family in addition to those two DUI but I eventually wanted to be sober more then the beer and I've managed to stay sober for about 10 months.

HTH

Wastinglife

Go to online AA meetings. The judge will probably see you are making an effort to be sober. I have a DUI from 15 years ago. I went to daily AA meetings and the judge reduced my fine as a result. Of course, a 2and DUI is different, but your attorney can argue on your behalf.