BeABetterMan

Hey Be, I missed posting yesterday. I gave myself permission. I was busy from morning til night and didn't have much to say.

Things are definitely looking up for me. I haven't taken an anti-anxiety pill in days, I'm going to a lot of online meetings, I'm busy at work (which has made a HUGE difference), and I'm just coping better.

But I'm an alcoholic. I'm one of the bad ones. It is always lurking. And I'm really frustrated because I have been trying to fill my antabuse script for over a month and for some reason the pharmacy can't get it. It's like my parachute and I'd feel better if I had it onboard, but if I do the things I'm supposed to, I won't need it.

I thank God for every day I'm sober. My physical and mental health deteriorate so fast when I touch alcohol now that I don't know how many I have left in me. SO many ambulances, ER visits, panic attacks, even overdoses. It's life or death.

Be123

Good work on another day. My experience was the first week was the toughest, but after about 25 days it became much much easier. Sorry if that seems like a long time, it really isn't, and I may not be 'normal'.

I think it's useful to remind yourself what'll happen if you drink - I do weekly reminders on here for myself. But I'm also getting really into recovery....I enjoy it, I'm challenged by it, even the horrible parts I accept as part of the journey.

Are there any goals you have or things in mind as positive targets?

BeABetterMan

It has been a rough couple of days mentally. My AV has been annoyingly loud. I did some things to beat it back and I was successful making it through my first real tests in this journey. Even spent some time with a female last night. A couple of observations, she chose to have a class of wine, which is good because if didn’t really appeal to me. But we spent about three hours together and she never even finished that one glass. Who does that?!? Like why?!? Like, who even pours booze into a glass? Crack the lid and get busy lol 😆

So yeah. I shouldn’t drink.

Be123

I could never ever understand social drinkers. Absolute freaks! I remember going to Geneva once to watch football - arrived at 8.30 am and lots of respectable middle aged people were having half a lager with their croissants. My brother and me looked at each other and said: Wtf? If so that then that's the day OVER

Well done for getting through the first few hurdles, keep going on a daily basis, my experience is that it gets easier almost on a daily basis (as lobby as you keep doing by the work each day)

BeABetterMan

Thanks Be, I always look forward to hearing from you.