Dee74

I couldn't believe I'd made it through so well either MT. Still can't - but I've learned to accept it as another blessing. I hope you can too, in time

D

Mamatembo

Thank you for sharing 2ndhandrose.
​​​​​​It helps to know that others have been in this place and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Mamatembo

Day 74.

Still feeling crappy, though better than a few weeks ago. Right side pain comes and goes but is overall less and is a little on the left now too. Feeling weak and shakey, this is getting worse. Mild brain fog which seems to slowly be improving. Nausea is less. Dizziness is less but still present.

The anxiety is off the charts. Panic attacks. Obsessive researching of my symptoms. Obsessively reading over my test results. I haven't even been able to work much.

I have a therapist appointment today. I want to ask for anxiety medication but I'm 100% convinced I have cirrhosis and you shouldn't take any ssris, etc, with cirrhosis.

on the plus side, I've been so obsessed and convinced that I have cirrhosis I haven't wanted a single sip of alcohol.

​​​​​​Some days I'm not sure if I'm sick or losing my mind. Most days I think both are true.

​​​​

biminiblue

I learned to purposefully change what I allowed to be in my thoughts. It takes practice.

I mean, what I think about increases.

Early sobriety is a time when the entire nervous system is on high-alert. It's in recovery from being tamped down with a liquid sedative. It's now hyper-alert, hyper-sensitive.

You've chosen to use your liver as the thing to obsess over, but it could just as easily be, "How to make a good sourdough starter without yeast." Physical and mental issues are front and center now, but they don't have to be.

BackandScared

Mamatembo,
I can only talk about my experience after 11 months sober. It took me about 6 months to feel I was better. It does not mean it took 6 months to be better. Probably from the moment I quit I was doing better despite the withdrawal symptoms. My anxiety was also over the roof and only in the past 2 months intermitent palpitations have stopped. I was convinced this cuold not be longer related to alcohol consumption but It has now disappeared. The same with some neuropathy pain in my feet.

Many things have take a long time to heal. My expectations were wrong. I thought I would feel so much better immediately. And I did! What I was really expecting was to feel 'perfect': plenty of energy, good sleep, plenty of money, clear head, super productive... The truth is that I was millions of times better but the damage was also there and I needed to see the improvement instead of what was still missing.

You are in a much better position to deal with your anxiety now than you were when drinking. It is impossible to deal with anxiety when you are drinking. Nothing will work. Stop checking your symptoms. Promise yourself not to do it for 1 full day or whatever. More you do it, more you are feeding the beast.

Good luck

iAmSam

not sure if it's been mentioned to you but on the off chance it's not, here's a thought:

A known problem for some people that use benzo's is a very long "adjustment" period while the
GABA receptors repair.

Since alcohol is supposed to hit the same GABA receptors, seems to me that it's very likely the
same thing can be said for some unlucky people who stop booze.

As a person who's tapering off benzo's, I relate to most of the symptoms you've mention (other than pain).
The only advice I've been given that actually works for me is distraction from this whole issue. I can
talk about it and focus on it and get no benefit other than I feel worse.
The more time I focus away from how I feel the better I am.

Mamatembo

Thanks everyone.

I need to work on mycmy mechanisms. I tried a walk but ended up sobbing on a bench in public....

My therapist cancelled today. I'm so bummed!

Mamatembo

Feeling terrible today. Barely functioning. Nausea, light headed, right side pain is worse than ever.

The Drs aren't really taking my symptoms seriously. The gastroenterologist prescribed antacids.

i don't know what to do

ReadyAtLast

Can you arrange to see a therapist to talk about what is concerning you. In my eperience there is real truth in the concept that anxiety and mental health issues can cause physical pain and symptoms. If your doctor has checked you out and run tests and nothing physical is coming up then please trust your doctor. tests don't lie. Many docs are not experts with mental health issues. Can you get a referral for a therapist or some sort of mental health specialist.

I also agree with distraction. The mind is such a powerful thing and if we tell ourselves often enough something is wrong then this can present as physical symptoms, or what we believe to be physical stuff.

Mamatembo

I know you may be right RAL. I know it could be anxiety.

​​​​​​I did talk to a therapist and got Zoloft. I'm also starting CBT.

I'm struggling with which came first, the chicken or the egg. Is my anxiety because of my health issues or my health issues because of my anxiety.

2ndhandrose

This was exactly my struggle in my first year of recovery.

I finally decided to accept my doctors recommendation to try an antidepressant and it turned out to be a game changer for me.

Hopefully, between the therapist, zoloft and CBT, you will find some answers.

Dee74

Hey MT sorry you still feel bad.

It might be worth seeing a Therapist like RAL advised - I can vouch for anxiety and worry making me sick.

D

myluckyday

Hi I haven’t been here in a long time. I quit years ago but went back. I quit on Feb 4th of this year, then had 3 drinks on March 15th and one light beer on April 12th. Haven’t had a drink since. Reading your post, is like reading what’s happening to me. I was also a night time 8 - 12 drinker. Completely functional and no one knew. Anyway, I started having right side pain so finally quit for good. I’ve had blood tests that came back normal, an ultrasound that came back as fatty liver and I just had a blood test today to see what level of damage there is. Now I wait for results. I’m freaking out. Anxiety off the charts, constantly researching anything to do with the liver. As a matter of fact, that is why I logged back on here after many months. I wanted to see if anyone else has gone through this and what the outcome is. My symptoms are right side pain, fatigue, sometimes just feeling weak. Sometimes nausea. My liver hurts right now. I’m so tired of it. Since finding out about the fatty liver, I’ve been eating well and I’ve lost 18 lbs. but still have pain. Some days I think Omg it’s gone! Then I move a certain way and I feel it. The next day back to pain. I’ve had a crappy adult life and I drank to drown it away and now that I’ve made some changes and actually want to live, did I destroy my liver? I completely understand where you are coming from!!!

Mamatembo

Good news. Bad news.

The new Dr ordered a fibroscan. However they are all booked up until the end of August. The wait will suck but the Dr explained that the results will be more accurate with more time sober anyway.

I have been prescribed an antacid, zofran, and an Zoloft.

I'll see how I do on those and hopefully get some relief soon, if not answers.

Dee74

Hoping the meds help in the meantime Mamatembo

D

Mamatembo

I'm having a terrible day. Incredibly dizzy and I have a tightness in my neck that seems to zap my brain occasionally. My old friend, anxiety is here with me too.

Being sick everyday has really been crushing me.

Dee74

I'm sorry MT hope you get answers soon

D

ReadyAtLast

Sometimes the anti-ds have side effects when you start taking them. hopefully you will start to feel the benefit soon. Can you do some relaxation exercises/mindfulness which will help you.