Day One (my story)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 15
Day One (my story)
I took my last drink over 22 hours ago, so I've almost got day number 1 in the books. I quit once before for 6 months and then decided to reward myself by drinking for the next 4 years.
I work nights so a normal day for me is to get home around 6:45am and start drinking wine. And then pass out around 2pm. I would go through a large 5 litter box of wine every two days. And then, on my nights off I'd get up around 10 pm and start drinking maybe by midnight. And stay buzzed/drunk for the next 12 hours or so.
I'm a happy drunk, by the way. I don't get angry or violent. I like a good laugh.
Anyeay, then I started withdrawaling at work. I go in at 10 pm and would start feeling jerky, spasming by 2am. Hot flashes, hands shaking. I'm not in a position to go to a rehab and I didn't want to have a seizure so I started sneaking mini bottles and going to my car on breaks for a drink when it was really bad. That started about 2 weeks ago.
Some nights I'd only need one of the bottles. One night I drank all 4 over the course of my shift.
Then this weekend I had three nights off in a row and was planning on tapering off over the course of those 3 days. But that didn't work, I basically stayed drunk.
Monday morning my girlfriend and I got into an argument and she shredded open my wine and drained it down the sink, she was pissed. And so was I. I decided to pack my bag and call my dad to come pick me up.
I tell her I'm leaving and she lost it. Bawling her eyes out, asking why I'd want to throw away everything we have. She was crying so hard she was hyperventilating.
So instead of calling my dad I called the urgent care clinic. Headed over there, spoke to the Dr for a while and he prescribed me Librium. 25mg.
I took one yesterday before bed, two last night at work, and I'll take another today before bed. So far it's been almost 11 hours since my last pill, and I'm not feeling too bad. Just tired and sleepy.
I know I can never drink again. Just glad to have day one almost over with.
I remember the extreme boredom that set in when I've quit in the past. But I host a podcast now so hopefully that'll help keep me occupied.
I work nights so a normal day for me is to get home around 6:45am and start drinking wine. And then pass out around 2pm. I would go through a large 5 litter box of wine every two days. And then, on my nights off I'd get up around 10 pm and start drinking maybe by midnight. And stay buzzed/drunk for the next 12 hours or so.
I'm a happy drunk, by the way. I don't get angry or violent. I like a good laugh.
Anyeay, then I started withdrawaling at work. I go in at 10 pm and would start feeling jerky, spasming by 2am. Hot flashes, hands shaking. I'm not in a position to go to a rehab and I didn't want to have a seizure so I started sneaking mini bottles and going to my car on breaks for a drink when it was really bad. That started about 2 weeks ago.
Some nights I'd only need one of the bottles. One night I drank all 4 over the course of my shift.
Then this weekend I had three nights off in a row and was planning on tapering off over the course of those 3 days. But that didn't work, I basically stayed drunk.
Monday morning my girlfriend and I got into an argument and she shredded open my wine and drained it down the sink, she was pissed. And so was I. I decided to pack my bag and call my dad to come pick me up.
I tell her I'm leaving and she lost it. Bawling her eyes out, asking why I'd want to throw away everything we have. She was crying so hard she was hyperventilating.
So instead of calling my dad I called the urgent care clinic. Headed over there, spoke to the Dr for a while and he prescribed me Librium. 25mg.
I took one yesterday before bed, two last night at work, and I'll take another today before bed. So far it's been almost 11 hours since my last pill, and I'm not feeling too bad. Just tired and sleepy.
I know I can never drink again. Just glad to have day one almost over with.
I remember the extreme boredom that set in when I've quit in the past. But I host a podcast now so hopefully that'll help keep me occupied.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Hi JT!
We talk about having a "plan" here to stay sober. Is your podcast recovery-related? For me, ninety AA meetings in my first ninety days were a successful plan to start. I got a sponsor and started working the steps. Seven years later, I still go to a few AA meetings every week, see my sponsor once a week, and do some service for my local AA group.
I hope this is the beginning of a permanent sobriety for you!
We talk about having a "plan" here to stay sober. Is your podcast recovery-related? For me, ninety AA meetings in my first ninety days were a successful plan to start. I got a sponsor and started working the steps. Seven years later, I still go to a few AA meetings every week, see my sponsor once a week, and do some service for my local AA group.
I hope this is the beginning of a permanent sobriety for you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Congrats Jttx. One suggestion is to really look at how you label parts of recovery. What I thought was boredom at the beginning of my recovery was really just me not being accustomed to peace, quiet and calm. I learned to treasure those feelings and rather than call them being bored, I call them peace, quiet and calm. They make all other things possible.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 286
Jttx81, congrats on what must be 24hrs+, i'm at 40hrs right now and I tell you what, the first half of your post I almost thought I sleep wrote another post!!! I can literally picture those nights at work 6oz bottles and morning 'end shift' winefests. I really hope you make it this time, I don't really have any advice or anything but I just wanted to let you know I relate and GOODLUCK!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Hi Jttx
I know it’s hard now but you’re making the best decision of your life. Get a plan and stick with no matter what. Trust me, if I can do it so can you!
I know it’s hard now but you’re making the best decision of your life. Get a plan and stick with no matter what. Trust me, if I can do it so can you!
Last edited by On The Road; 05-05-2020 at 12:10 PM. Reason: Bad text
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Glad you're doing ok jttx 
Like I said on the other thread if you have any problems on the librium call your Doc.
A good recovery action plan is a great tool to have - some great tips here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
Like I said on the other thread if you have any problems on the librium call your Doc.A good recovery action plan is a great tool to have - some great tips here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
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