freedomfries

Keep thinking I could just have four beers and stop at that. No one will know.

But playing the tape forward, I know those four beers will lead to more and before I know it it'll be four days later, I've spent all my money on booze and I've got the hangover from hell.

Just wish I could enjoy sobriety more

doggonecarl

One might say you haven't been sober long enough to reap the benefits of not drinking. What would "enjoying sobriety" look like to you?

freedomfries

I guess by enjoying sobriety I mean not constantly battling in my head trying to stay sober

Reid82

"No one will know"- Wrong. You will know. And that's what matters at the end of day.

Sober369

You will be so happy when the craving passes and you didn't do it. You will feel so good about it. Hang in there Freedom!

Sober369

Eat something you like and have something you like to drink. Take a nap, fall asleep listening to a recovery podcast. Or whatever you think of that will help. Don't just sit there and think about it, though. Hugs and lots of love to you!

Dee74

I think what Carl is getting at is that to reach that stage you need a little time, & a lot of effort.
It does get easier - but if you're always giving in before that point, you'll never know that easier time?
D

freedomfries

I suppose you're right. I don't give myself a chance to experience comfortable sobriety.

freedomfries

So I put my shoes on and was going to go get a four pack of beer and a pack of cigarettes. Instead I decided to donate the €20 that would cost to a homeless charity. Much better use of my money.

doggonecarl

I understand the struggle, I battled it too. But you know that isn't sobriety, don't you? It's the addiction. Addiction isn't just about the drinking. It's also the battling in your head, the obsession to drink, and giving into the obsession, then the craving to continue to drink.
If you want to enjoy sobriety, stay sober. Make the changes in you life to support that decision. Address the issues that kept you seeking alcohol for the solution. Learn to live and love the sober life.

biminiblue

The constant battle does let up. Not in 8 days, maybe. When I quit I was unequivocally D.O.N.E. Like an old TV advertisement said, "There ain't an ounce o' turn-back in it." I felt that way. I had to, so my only choice was to find ways to deal with the drinking thoughts.

Those thoughts of drinking are habits, neural pathways, reinforced over years of grabbing alcohol as the solution to everything on every day, over and over. It takes time for them to ease off.

I made sure to stay busy. Letting those thoughts take hold - ruminating - dwelling on them was not a good plan for me. Today it's been several years since quitting drinking. When a drinking thought comes up I know I'll win, I've had a lot of practice answering them with, "Thanks for piping up, I don't drink." It's still annoying.

You can change your thoughts. Turn the page. Think about literally anything else.

And absolutely what doggonecarl said.

freedomfries

That makes sense. I got into the habit of drinking to ease boredom so now my brain expects alcohol whenever I get bored. I guess it'll just take time to reprogram my brain

MLD51

Yes, it takes time. I didn't "enjoy" sobriety for quite some time. I felt immediate benefits, sure. I wasn't hungover and sick all the time, I slept better, I wasn't doing embarrassing and dangerous things. And that was all great, but I didn't feel happy about being sober for a while. Maybe a few months in, after a lot of work, I started to feel happy again. If you drank as much as I did, it takes time for the brain and body to adjust, that's just science. Then you also have to learn new ways of coping with life on its terms without turning to booze. It's a process. There's no immediate satisfaction in this (except maybe the immediate lack of hangovers). It takes time and work.

But it's SO WORTH IT. Give it time. Give it a real chance. In AA I have heard the saying "don't give up before the miracle happens." The miracle for me was when I realized I wasn't thinking about drinking or not drinking for whole days at a time. That took a while. But the obsession did lift. And like Bim, now when when my AV pipes up, I know I'm going to win that fight.

nez

I didn't enjoy sobriety at 8 days, but then what the hell did I know about enjoying anyway!!! I thought I enjoyed drinking but knew that I didn't really and yet I did it anyway. I first had to learn how to live sober, which was a totally new and foreign concept to me. It didn't come naturally or overnight but as it unfolded, so did enjoyment. More importantly I learned about and experienced serenity. I finally became became comfortable in my own skin.


I spent the first 18 years of my life not comfortable in my own skin and then discovered alcohol. I spent the next 32 years of my life drinking...but still wasn't comfortable in my own skin!!! So I spent 50 years not comfortable in my own skin. 8 days wasn't going to magically turn that around, but it did happen and it happened a lot quicker than 50 years.

I got what I wanted, just not on my timetable, but I am convinced that is how it is meant to work because instant gratification is fleeting. Long lasting gratitude comes from work and then becomes a labor of love and then is no longer work but merely right action. I now have 17 years of recovery and it has been worth every single step. I enjoy not drinking. I enjoy recovery. I enjoy life!

TiredCarpenter

FF great job NOT staying alone in those thoughts!!

It takes courage to share when you are feeling some challenges.

I was never good at reaching out, hence, many, many relapses.

This is a serious condition, that has serious consequences for me. I need to always be on guard.
Great that you reached out !

saoutchik

Hang in there freedomfries. There will be more days like this but not forever. Eventually you will reach escape velocity where maintaining sobriety is MUCH easier. You just have to endure for now. Well done on donating that $20.

CRRHCC

You will enjoy it more when you are truly convinced that there is more happiness in sobriety than in being inebriated.






There is a good book called , "The Freedom Model for
Addiction: Escape
the Treatment and Recover Trap," the authors present addiction as a
choice, not a disease over which we have no control. We all have free will and
can choose our, "Best available option for happiness.” This
book is taking, “Reward based learning,” to a more understandable level. This
premise of seeking happiness, might seem trite at first thought, but it is ripe
with profound meaning and backed with cutting edge research. Addiction is
actually a learned behavior. One engages in specific behaviors because they
believe it will give them temporary happiness. (Dodes would call this regaining
control over your emotions). People stop abusing when they decide abusing is not
the best option for their happiness. They stop abusing when they
decide (REASON) abusing is not the best option for their happiness. This is precisely why the evidence shows
that most people mature out of their addiction (NESARC). The authors use reason, science and
evidence for their premise. The book clarifies the need to address your
problems where they actually exist: In the realm of personal choice! You don’t
get addicted to a substance or behavior, Â unless you have learned it helps
you do something. That something is to feel better, to be happy. Â This
book was written for substance abuse, but the principles apply to virtually any
behavior!

Tinkerbeau

Hi freedom well done on day 8 keep going. You got to 34 days you can get there and past it again. You kept me motivated in the march group !! You are right though the av is horrible and it feels overwhelming at times but you can beat it. Im only day 47 and its been hard some days i literally cried through them but honestly these past few days the av really has become quieter and the pleasure of being sober is really out weighing any urges to drink. Keep going

fini

i love what you did with the money!!wondering if it gives you a little glimpse of the satisfactions that can come your way, from doing differently?

MissOverIt

As the others have mentioned it does take some time but not every day - all day - is bad on the road to enjoyable sobriety. Work through the bad moments and bask in the good ones and little victories. I also can’t stress enough how important it is to start building the sober life you want. It really does become easier to stay sober when you prefer your life without getting intoxicated. Awesome job on 8 days and let’s keep going together!