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Faith, Spirituality, Hope

Old 04-25-2020, 02:16 AM
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Faith, Spirituality, Hope

I hope you'll bear with me on this, it makes sense to me!

One of the things I've really struggled with, both in AA many years ago and reading people on this board, is the idea of spirituality and spiritual growth. I was raised in a strict religious family that scarred me somewhat, and I don't understand spirituality outside religion, faith and god.

But on Easter weekend I was going for a walk early in the morning and the sun was coming up on the horizon. I was emotional, crying as I walked, early on in sobriety (as I still am) and feeling pretty raw. And as I walked I felt an amazing sense of peace, that as I walked something bigger than me existed.

Its hard to explain but I felt strongly that if I did my bit, then whatever it was/is would 'do the rest'. It wasn't a religious experience, the message that I could only control my own behaviour was being reinforced by people on this site and in therapy. But it coincided with the beautiful sunrise; the Christian message of new birth and forgiveness; and the Easter tradition of new life, the earth rejuvenating and the eternal moving of the seasons.

That feeling hasn't stayed with me but whenever I find myself getting really anxious or worrying about my future (that happens a lot!), or about what people think of me or what may or may not happen - I take myself back to that sunrise and remind myself I can only keep working today on me, my sobriety and my personal growth. It really helps to picture the sun because even if I can't see it I know it's there, which seems like a good picture for the hope.

Thats all really soppy and out of character for who I am (or maybe who i was) but I know that if I do my bit everything will be ok, whatever that looks like



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Old 04-25-2020, 02:30 AM
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Re: Faith, Spirituality, Hope

Your post was very encouraging and touching. Continue to grow and strengthen your recovery program and faith within and the rest will come.
Sounds like you are on the right track.
Take care of what's right in front of you and leave the rest into the Hands of your Higher Power, God of your upbringing and understanding, or whatever you find comfort and strength from to guide you with each new step you take.
Support, care and understanding sent your way.
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Old 04-25-2020, 09:12 AM
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Re: Faith, Spirituality, Hope

oof nothing soppy and i thank you for writing this post about your experience Sounds like it did not just bring hope but also peace
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Old 04-25-2020, 12:27 PM
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Re: Faith, Spirituality, Hope

I have to say that your shares here always have a positive impact on me. This one in particular resonates because I can relate and have experienced much the same over these past couple of months.
I've always spent a lot of time outdoors in nature, but usually active. Been home more now of course, and I've slowed down. Stopped to enjoy many small things and the big universe around me. My Christian beliefs and therapy have also guided me, and I feel so much calm watching the ducks swim in our pond, or sitting outside at night looking at the stars, hearing these birds singing in the night, or an owl further away. The breeze, the height of our trees and all that must live in its branches. The buds and flowers embracing a new Spring. Meditative, Awe inspiring, and a deeper understanding that "Gods got this" as my wife says. . And I'm in his hand always.
Look forward to your next update. And also, think it was from ome of your earlier shares where you mentioned Smart Recovery? Been reading there and haven found a lot of good stuff. Thanks for this also.
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Old 04-25-2020, 08:56 PM
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Re: Faith, Spirituality, Hope

Be,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I can relate - I grew up in a very religious household, and when I began my journey in sobriety I could not see how God and all that could possibly help keep me sober.
My understanding of spirituality now is about connection. I connect to that power, the God of my understanding (whom I don't understand, but she seems ok with that), through introspection, meditation, service to others, and humility.
Sobriety, like life itself, is a gift, fragile and precious. Losing sight of that and the perspective it gives for the events we experience is inviting the old ways to return.
Thank you for sharing your experience, and good luck in your journey!
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Old 04-26-2020, 01:31 PM
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Re: Faith, Spirituality, Hope

Thanks for sharing that Be123. I come from similar circumstances. Raised in a religious family I rejected notions of a deity. This made my early days in AA somewhat challenging. Like you, I eventually had a spiritual experience. Ineffable as that experience was, it changed my life. I now see that experience as a gift.
Your insight that morning is the very essence of a spiritual experience. Use it as a guiding light.
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Old 04-26-2020, 05:51 PM
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Re: Faith, Spirituality, Hope

I like to make things simple.
I have to put aside, at least temporarily, all religious teachings and go back to nothing. I'm not saying I will never read the bible or anything but just put it aside and start from scratch. The bible is thousands of years old and gone through many language translations and what not. I can'tÂÂÂ really prove or disprove anything.ÂÂÂ
So I'mÂÂÂ looking for something direct. Something between me and God that no one can come between.ÂÂÂ
For me it's looking from the east coast of America over the Atlantic Ocean just before the sun rises. It's dark and dead quiet except for the waves gently breaking. It'sÂÂÂ like I'm looking off the edge of the earth as this mass of light and silent energy makes it's way toward the earth. This energy is driven from something and it makes all forms of life possible. I can feel the presence of God.ÂÂÂ
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Old 04-26-2020, 06:21 PM
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Re: Faith, Spirituality, Hope

Be, that's a beautiful post and I think the experience showed you that you are on the right track and that recovery is worth it. I've had moments like that too, and I know that when I was drinking, they never happened. I was never in touch with my spirituality, my soul.
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