Real tough decision but probably going to go
I'm sorry to hear that you are making the decision to go.
You have NO idea who you will be in contact with while you are away, nor what you might bring home with you when you return. I'm sure you've heard about asymptomatic people spreading the virus unknowingly. Are you trying to say you will NEVER leave this person's apartment during the 1-2 months you are going to be there?
You have NO idea who you will be in contact with while you are away, nor what you might bring home with you when you return. I'm sure you've heard about asymptomatic people spreading the virus unknowingly. Are you trying to say you will NEVER leave this person's apartment during the 1-2 months you are going to be there?
I mean, you don't know what might happen - a worker could come into the house to repair something, a delivery could come to the door, you could fall and need to go to a doctor, your car could break down - anything could happen that could bring you into contact with someone else. And don't you have a 'stay home' mandate in your state? That's not for everyone else but you.
I mean, you don't know what might happen - a worker could come into the house to repair something, a delivery could come to the door, you could fall and need to go to a doctor, your car could break down - anything could happen that could bring you into contact with someone else. And don't you have a 'stay home' mandate in your state? That's not for everyone else but you.
The point of your original post was that you were reticent about going someplace because it might threaten your sobriety. All of your responses since the original post don't seem to understand that everyone's just trying to look out for what you were concerned about, your sobriety.
The point of your original post was that you were reticent about going someplace because it might threaten your sobriety. All of your responses since the original post don't seem to understand that everyone's just trying to look out for what you were concerned about, your sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi NB. Well, it is your decision and looks like you have made it anyway but at 30 days sober (i am coming up to 2years) there was no way I would be doing what you are doing. At least not this time round. After years of trying to quit and going back to drinking I clearly hadn't had enough. 2 years ago a few drinks one night led me onto a 10 day binge that nearly killed me so when I got sober I knew I had to do whatever it took to stay sober and going into isolation for a month with a good friend of mine who is a big drinker themselves would have 100% been off the table. I wouldn't even do that now! There would have been not a chance in hell I would have stayed sober and for this alcoholic to drink is to die. My sobriety HAS to come first before ANYTHING else because if I am not sober I am dead anyway.
I am not sure how to end this. Not with good luck, that doesn't sound right. If you are in for any sort of fighting chance at staying sober, be honest with your friend and stay connected to SR. 🙏❤
I am not sure how to end this. Not with good luck, that doesn't sound right. If you are in for any sort of fighting chance at staying sober, be honest with your friend and stay connected to SR. 🙏❤
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 59
So today is 30 days of booze and friend is going to be stopping by nyc to take care of something. He has a house in a pretty remote place so would not be stuck in this tiny apartment all day and would be able to get fresh air. Also a good friend and we get a long great so would be fun. Only thing is he is even a wilder drinker than I am. Which when I say that to people who know me in real life their mouths drop! While I am probably going to go figure I would get some opinions here first.
You are going to a remote location with a hard core drinker and you have only 30 days sobriety. You are also going to break lockdown rules and put your elderly mother in danger just so you can get out of your tiny apartment and some fresh air. You also say when you tell people about your friends drinking compared to yours their mouths drop.
Im new here on this forum and im with your friends. My mouth is glued to the floor.
I guarantee if you can get a years sobriety under your belt you will look back on this thread and realise just how silly this all sounds. Alcohol is very cunning and convincing, hopefully one day you can see it totally for what it actually is.
I wonder - just put of curiosity - what happens when your friend says “when we do the grocery order today I’m going to get a load of beer because I’ve worked so hard and I’m just going to get blasted tonight”?
I mean he’s not a self proclaimed alcoholic right? He’s not PROMISED not to drink for two months correct? So what then? What happens as you see him start to drink?
I was on a house party internet meeting app last night. They were all drinking. It was really tough as I’m only 18 days sober and they weren’t even in the same room and I couldn’t smell the beer, wine and spirits. I got through it ok as I had no choice. I’m locked up at home with my wife and there is no booze in the house (deliberately). But it was still hard. A bit miserable even. A look at what could have been if I was ‘normal’ - something I will never be.
Anyhow - good luck when your friend drinks one night. Yes I read your comments about it being a no drinking break. My comprehension skills are fine by the way. But it’s not what you write it’s what you DIDN’T write.
Your friend (to my knowledge) has NOT said he has a problem and has NOT said he will spend the whole trip alcohol free. So good luck when he orders those two or three six packs.
By the way one last piece of advice from a guy with (probably) more grey hairs than you? Don’t ask questions if you don’t want answers - because - frankly - it’s irritating.
I mean he’s not a self proclaimed alcoholic right? He’s not PROMISED not to drink for two months correct? So what then? What happens as you see him start to drink?
I was on a house party internet meeting app last night. They were all drinking. It was really tough as I’m only 18 days sober and they weren’t even in the same room and I couldn’t smell the beer, wine and spirits. I got through it ok as I had no choice. I’m locked up at home with my wife and there is no booze in the house (deliberately). But it was still hard. A bit miserable even. A look at what could have been if I was ‘normal’ - something I will never be.
Anyhow - good luck when your friend drinks one night. Yes I read your comments about it being a no drinking break. My comprehension skills are fine by the way. But it’s not what you write it’s what you DIDN’T write.
Your friend (to my knowledge) has NOT said he has a problem and has NOT said he will spend the whole trip alcohol free. So good luck when he orders those two or three six packs.
By the way one last piece of advice from a guy with (probably) more grey hairs than you? Don’t ask questions if you don’t want answers - because - frankly - it’s irritating.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 239
Well I decided to go. No alcohol in the house at all at the moment and went grocery store shopping today. This will be a sober trip. Seems the reading comprehension is quite poor for some regarding yelling about social distancing. Before this i had not left my apartment for a week and half so yes I take this very seriously. It is extremely unhealthy to be in a household with someone who hoards and tons of dust to began with let alone locked in there for weeks. Friend is a binge drinker and has not drank for 3 weeks and given how busy work will be drinking does not seem on the horizon .I guarantee I have been social distancing more than anyone in this thread.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
All I'm gonna say is if I were in the city I would want to get out. Since my earliest days of sobriety, I was never really NOT around alcohol and other drugs - even in my own house. When I said I would never drink or drug again, I meant it, and years later I'm still sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I'm sober again after a brief relapse over the holidays. A very good college friend of mine committed suicide last week. Another good friend of mine invited me to come visit (the person who committed suicide was a mutual friend of both of us) so we could reminisce about the good old days with out now dead friend. This guy was my training partner in the gym, but he drinks on the weekends. I turned him down. Too tempting. Think about it.
I vote not to go. But if you do, and you don't drink, you will build a really strong foundation for your ongoing sobriety. You will be so proud of yourself. You will be made stronger. You can do this.
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