Notices

Real tough decision but probably going to go

Old 04-17-2020, 04:42 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Newbeginning421's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I'm sorry to hear that you are making the decision to go.

You have NO idea who you will be in contact with while you are away, nor what you might bring home with you when you return. I'm sure you've heard about asymptomatic people spreading the virus unknowingly. Are you trying to say you will NEVER leave this person's apartment during the 1-2 months you are going to be there?
It is a huge house is the suburbs and i came here in a car and only in contact with him and he has not left his house for like a week and half? What are you talking about? How is being in a more spread out place more risky please explain that to me?
Newbeginning421 is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 04:50 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
quat
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,819
What are you going to do if you want to drink?
dwtbd is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 04:52 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,325
I mean, you don't know what might happen - a worker could come into the house to repair something, a delivery could come to the door, you could fall and need to go to a doctor, your car could break down - anything could happen that could bring you into contact with someone else. And don't you have a 'stay home' mandate in your state? That's not for everyone else but you.
Anna is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 05:02 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Newbeginning421's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I mean, you don't know what might happen - a worker could come into the house to repair something, a delivery could come to the door, you could fall and need to go to a doctor, your car could break down - anything could happen that could bring you into contact with someone else. And don't you have a 'stay home' mandate in your state? That's not for everyone else but you.
No one is coming here to make repairs. Deliveries are left at door and what if I fall? I mean how would this be any different than if I had stayed home. The argument makes no sense what so ever. This is what I am referring to in terms of reading comprehension. By time I even think about going back there will be antibody test.
Newbeginning421 is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 05:07 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
RIP Sweet Suki
 
suki44883's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,725
Sounds like you're already there since you keeps saying "here." So, hope it all works out for you.
suki44883 is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 05:10 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,670
Sounds like you're going from a 'new beginning' to an 'old ending'.
least is online now  
Old 04-17-2020, 05:17 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Member
 
lessgravity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,893
The point of your original post was that you were reticent about going someplace because it might threaten your sobriety. All of your responses since the original post don't seem to understand that everyone's just trying to look out for what you were concerned about, your sobriety.
lessgravity is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 05:29 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Newbeginning421's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
The point of your original post was that you were reticent about going someplace because it might threaten your sobriety. All of your responses since the original post don't seem to understand that everyone's just trying to look out for what you were concerned about, your sobriety.
Yes that was a major concern and is no longer. I will not be drinking. Is exact reason I did not jump into this either and slept on it.
Newbeginning421 is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 05:45 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
Member
 
lessgravity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,893
Originally Posted by Newbeginning421 View Post
Yes that was a major concern and is no longer. I will not be drinking. Is exact reason I did not jump into this either and slept on it.
Sounds good. Stay sober, be vigilant, check in here if you need support.
lessgravity is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 07:57 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,241
have a good visit, NB.
not sure why you asked for opinions when it looks like you didn’t consider any?
fini is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 08:12 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi NB. Well, it is your decision and looks like you have made it anyway but at 30 days sober (i am coming up to 2years) there was no way I would be doing what you are doing. At least not this time round. After years of trying to quit and going back to drinking I clearly hadn't had enough. 2 years ago a few drinks one night led me onto a 10 day binge that nearly killed me so when I got sober I knew I had to do whatever it took to stay sober and going into isolation for a month with a good friend of mine who is a big drinker themselves would have 100% been off the table. I wouldn't even do that now! There would have been not a chance in hell I would have stayed sober and for this alcoholic to drink is to die. My sobriety HAS to come first before ANYTHING else because if I am not sober I am dead anyway.

I am not sure how to end this. Not with good luck, that doesn't sound right. If you are in for any sort of fighting chance at staying sober, be honest with your friend and stay connected to SR. 🙏❤
snitch is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 08:59 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by Newbeginning421 View Post
So today is 30 days of booze and friend is going to be stopping by nyc to take care of something. He has a house in a pretty remote place so would not be stuck in this tiny apartment all day and would be able to get fresh air. Also a good friend and we get a long great so would be fun. Only thing is he is even a wilder drinker than I am. Which when I say that to people who know me in real life their mouths drop! While I am probably going to go figure I would get some opinions here first.
Sorry to go back here but I just have to summerize so I can break this down a little bit.

You are going to a remote location with a hard core drinker and you have only 30 days sobriety. You are also going to break lockdown rules and put your elderly mother in danger just so you can get out of your tiny apartment and some fresh air. You also say when you tell people about your friends drinking compared to yours their mouths drop.

Im new here on this forum and im with your friends. My mouth is glued to the floor.

I guarantee if you can get a years sobriety under your belt you will look back on this thread and realise just how silly this all sounds. Alcohol is very cunning and convincing, hopefully one day you can see it totally for what it actually is.
TimeNeedsTime is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 09:30 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
Member
 
JustTony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
I wonder - just put of curiosity - what happens when your friend says “when we do the grocery order today I’m going to get a load of beer because I’ve worked so hard and I’m just going to get blasted tonight”?

I mean he’s not a self proclaimed alcoholic right? He’s not PROMISED not to drink for two months correct? So what then? What happens as you see him start to drink?

I was on a house party internet meeting app last night. They were all drinking. It was really tough as I’m only 18 days sober and they weren’t even in the same room and I couldn’t smell the beer, wine and spirits. I got through it ok as I had no choice. I’m locked up at home with my wife and there is no booze in the house (deliberately). But it was still hard. A bit miserable even. A look at what could have been if I was ‘normal’ - something I will never be.

Anyhow - good luck when your friend drinks one night. Yes I read your comments about it being a no drinking break. My comprehension skills are fine by the way. But it’s not what you write it’s what you DIDN’T write.

Your friend (to my knowledge) has NOT said he has a problem and has NOT said he will spend the whole trip alcohol free. So good luck when he orders those two or three six packs.

By the way one last piece of advice from a guy with (probably) more grey hairs than you? Don’t ask questions if you don’t want answers - because - frankly - it’s irritating.
JustTony is offline  
Old 04-17-2020, 11:59 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
EndGame
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Well my gut is telling me not to go but really torn here
No alcohol in the house at all at the moment...
We have good reasons for paying close attention.
EndGameNYC is offline  
Old 04-18-2020, 01:12 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 239
Originally Posted by Newbeginning421 View Post
Well I decided to go. No alcohol in the house at all at the moment and went grocery store shopping today. This will be a sober trip. Seems the reading comprehension is quite poor for some regarding yelling about social distancing. Before this i had not left my apartment for a week and half so yes I take this very seriously. It is extremely unhealthy to be in a household with someone who hoards and tons of dust to began with let alone locked in there for weeks. Friend is a binge drinker and has not drank for 3 weeks and given how busy work will be drinking does not seem on the horizon .I guarantee I have been social distancing more than anyone in this thread.
The situation appears to have a potential for both good and bad events to happen. I can see why you spent time debating. All I will say is this can be a learning opportunity for you. It's a change up from being at your mom's so now you will form a new routine. Who knows what will happen with your friend, but either way your responsible for your own decisions. If he drinks, doesn't mean you have to. My only suggestion would be to stay in tune with your own feelings/emotions/attitude. I relapsed recently because I ignored my emotional health. That left me vulnerable and when an unforeseen opportunity came up and I was offered some coke I simply took it.
Lines is offline  
Old 04-18-2020, 07:17 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,325
Some posts have been removed.

Please use the Ignore Function if you are triggered by certain responses on a thread.
Anna is offline  
Old 04-18-2020, 09:07 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
waking down
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
All I'm gonna say is if I were in the city I would want to get out. Since my earliest days of sobriety, I was never really NOT around alcohol and other drugs - even in my own house. When I said I would never drink or drug again, I meant it, and years later I'm still sober.
zerothehero is offline  
Old 04-18-2020, 12:50 PM
  # 58 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I'm sober again after a brief relapse over the holidays. A very good college friend of mine committed suicide last week. Another good friend of mine invited me to come visit (the person who committed suicide was a mutual friend of both of us) so we could reminisce about the good old days with out now dead friend. This guy was my training partner in the gym, but he drinks on the weekends. I turned him down. Too tempting. Think about it.
thomas11 is offline  
Old 05-02-2020, 07:38 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
sober style
 
SnazzyDresser's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,374
Interesting thread I just read all of. I'd be interested in an update on this situation, NewBeginning. What's going on.
SnazzyDresser is offline  
Old 05-02-2020, 02:32 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
Member
 
Steely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,272
I vote not to go. But if you do, and you don't drink, you will build a really strong foundation for your ongoing sobriety. You will be so proud of yourself. You will be made stronger. You can do this.
Steely is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:54 AM.