I知 not missing A.A.
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Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 59
The OP mentioned the term ' dry drunk '.
I aint ever met any medical professional use that term because there is no such thing.
Its a horrible and nasty thing to label on someone but by lord, they sure as hell like it use it in AA. Its very counter productive, all it does is breed negativity. Im surprised the term has'nt been canned. Alcoholic & junky have been consigned to the history bin by the WHO. In my opinion AA need to step up on this dry drunk syndrome, the one they made up to bolster memberships with feelings of helplessness amongst said members.
My two bobs worth.
I aint ever met any medical professional use that term because there is no such thing.
Its a horrible and nasty thing to label on someone but by lord, they sure as hell like it use it in AA. Its very counter productive, all it does is breed negativity. Im surprised the term has'nt been canned. Alcoholic & junky have been consigned to the history bin by the WHO. In my opinion AA need to step up on this dry drunk syndrome, the one they made up to bolster memberships with feelings of helplessness amongst said members.
My two bobs worth.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Tolerance: Please respect the rights of others to hold beliefs and perspectives, which differ from yours. Our Sober Recovery Forum members are of many nationalities, ages, and cultures. Healthy, vigorous debate will further our goals, but only when guided by the tolerance that springs from mutual embrace of mission.
I'm not a fan of 'recovery method wars' at the best of times - if I have to step in again on this thread, I'm going to close it.
Dee
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SR
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Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 3
I agree with you completely, Lines.... AA was my introduction to spiritual work, but I had problems with the (for me) excessive emphasis on God. I'm agnostic... I don't believe that there is no God... I simply have no belief that there is one. I remain open minded should someone come up with objective proof (less that old Book... that's a circular reference and inadmissible... far to subjective and open to interpretation.) AA is serving to socialize me, but for real spiritual work I've lateraled over into Buddhist philosophy (Westernized, not hard-core, but it's helped enormously.) So a two-pronged approach, one for people-to-people, the other for improving myself as a person.
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just to make it a little clearer
D
Originally Posted by Morning Glory
Discussions are fine. Respectful disagreements are fine too. I consider a discussion a conversation when all parties are listening to each other and sharing ideas. Respectful disagreements are disagreements that still allow the other person their own opinion. Discussions are showing an interest in understanding why another feels a certain way. We listen intently as they explain themselves and are free to admit any error in our own ways of thinking. A discussion is a cooperative effort and seeks resolution resulting in a peaceful end even when there are disagreements. Discussions help all to gain a better understanding of both sides of the issue.
Debates [for the purpose of this forum] are when posters only want to express themselves and discredit the opinions of others in a disrespectful way. Attacking someone else's ideas is not appropriate. Defending a belief that doesn't relate to the purpose or topics of this forum is not appropriate. Posts that flame or mock another recovery method, spiritual belief, sexual preference, race, disability, mental illness, moderator, or member etc.. are inappropriate. Off site links with similar content are also inappropriate.
Debates [for the purpose of this forum] are when posters only want to express themselves and discredit the opinions of others in a disrespectful way. Attacking someone else's ideas is not appropriate. Defending a belief that doesn't relate to the purpose or topics of this forum is not appropriate. Posts that flame or mock another recovery method, spiritual belief, sexual preference, race, disability, mental illness, moderator, or member etc.. are inappropriate. Off site links with similar content are also inappropriate.
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Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 3
"Dry Drunk"
Hi All,
My understanding of "dry drunk" is that it's basically being an alcoholic, minus the alcohol. I can personally attest to this state of mind, as I've had two go-rounds with alcohol: the first time, along with recreational pharmaceuticals ("dry goods"
), followed the typical pattern of escalation and denial. It became a real problem, was affecting my marriage and my job; I had a little girl, just 2 years old, and in a rare moment of clarity I saw what I stood to lose... so I put down the bottle (and quit smoking at the same time; in for a penny, in for a pound!), and stayed sober for a little over 30 years.
In that time, however, I had all the same problems that had literally driven me to drink in the first place: extreme selfishness, low self-esteem, zero self-confidence, never feeling like I fit in or was accepted (tolerated because people wanted to be 'nice people', but didn't really want me around), instant irritation with anything that got in the way of what I wanted to have or do, huge resentment for not getting my own way.... you all know the drill. THAT to me is being a 'dry drunk:' all-but-alcohol. The mentality that is part and parcel of being an alcoholic, of which the actual consumption of alcohol is but a symptom, not a cause. I must have been a real ton of fun to be around; don't understand why I'm still married to the same woman.
Round two was when I got injured on the job, had surgery to correct the problem (which fixed the original problem, but created a worse one), could no longer work, so I lost my job (and along with that, any sense of value and worth I had as a human being... my very identity *was* that job), my home, my (once-sizeable) 401K... pretty much everything. My mother died at about the same time (2009 was NOT a banner year for me), and due only to the proceeds from the settlement of her estate, I was able to buy cash-on-the-barrel a tiny house that had been abandoned for over 2 years. Entirely due to the efforts and skill of my wife, we actually managed to land on our collective feet... not nearly as nice as what we lost, but hey....
So one day, deep in a pity-party, I decided that a glass of good single-malt scotch sounded like a good idea (that was the opioids I was on for chronic pain talking, but I was too fried to see that), and I thought, 'hey, no problem, I'm obviously not an alcoholic anymore...'
And things followed the predictable course, until I was worse than I had ever been... and *this* time, I couldn't quit... I was literally drinking against my will. No great motivations or consequences this time... so I got an ultimatum to go to AA, or to just go, period. Which led me to here, almost 3 years later, sober again, and *this* time, aware of and dealing with all those problems that most of us alcoholics have. I think I stand a better chance this time of staying that way.
Just my take on a widely-used term that makes perfect sense to me, but sometimes not so much to others.
My understanding of "dry drunk" is that it's basically being an alcoholic, minus the alcohol. I can personally attest to this state of mind, as I've had two go-rounds with alcohol: the first time, along with recreational pharmaceuticals ("dry goods"
), followed the typical pattern of escalation and denial. It became a real problem, was affecting my marriage and my job; I had a little girl, just 2 years old, and in a rare moment of clarity I saw what I stood to lose... so I put down the bottle (and quit smoking at the same time; in for a penny, in for a pound!), and stayed sober for a little over 30 years.In that time, however, I had all the same problems that had literally driven me to drink in the first place: extreme selfishness, low self-esteem, zero self-confidence, never feeling like I fit in or was accepted (tolerated because people wanted to be 'nice people', but didn't really want me around), instant irritation with anything that got in the way of what I wanted to have or do, huge resentment for not getting my own way.... you all know the drill. THAT to me is being a 'dry drunk:' all-but-alcohol. The mentality that is part and parcel of being an alcoholic, of which the actual consumption of alcohol is but a symptom, not a cause. I must have been a real ton of fun to be around; don't understand why I'm still married to the same woman.
Round two was when I got injured on the job, had surgery to correct the problem (which fixed the original problem, but created a worse one), could no longer work, so I lost my job (and along with that, any sense of value and worth I had as a human being... my very identity *was* that job), my home, my (once-sizeable) 401K... pretty much everything. My mother died at about the same time (2009 was NOT a banner year for me), and due only to the proceeds from the settlement of her estate, I was able to buy cash-on-the-barrel a tiny house that had been abandoned for over 2 years. Entirely due to the efforts and skill of my wife, we actually managed to land on our collective feet... not nearly as nice as what we lost, but hey....
So one day, deep in a pity-party, I decided that a glass of good single-malt scotch sounded like a good idea (that was the opioids I was on for chronic pain talking, but I was too fried to see that), and I thought, 'hey, no problem, I'm obviously not an alcoholic anymore...'
And things followed the predictable course, until I was worse than I had ever been... and *this* time, I couldn't quit... I was literally drinking against my will. No great motivations or consequences this time... so I got an ultimatum to go to AA, or to just go, period. Which led me to here, almost 3 years later, sober again, and *this* time, aware of and dealing with all those problems that most of us alcoholics have. I think I stand a better chance this time of staying that way.
Just my take on a widely-used term that makes perfect sense to me, but sometimes not so much to others.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Thanks for sharing your experiences, khartisma,
They are quite powerful.
And they lend credence to the notion that alcoholism never exits our systems, even after decades of abstinence.
I hope that others get as much out of your story of caution and hope as I did.
They are quite powerful.
And they lend credence to the notion that alcoholism never exits our systems, even after decades of abstinence.
I hope that others get as much out of your story of caution and hope as I did.
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