Day 1 and scared
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 18
Day 1 and scared
Well today I had my first scare, I was on a two day bender and as I was cooking dinner I started feeling numbness in my fingers and couldnt move them, it eventually went away after about a minute.
My choice of poison is vodka I can easily go through a liter in about 4 days. I've been drinking hard since I was 24? About 8 years of drinking hard stuff. I've browsed this site for years and never had the courage to post anything. I feel I've finally have lost all control from my drinking. My husband doesnt understand how someone can have a problem he just says try to control it, you can have a drink just dont get drunk. I feel if I become sober he will secretly be disappointed that he lost a drinking buddy or think hes that guy who married someone that cant socially drink at events.sometimes I just wish he would tell me to stop or that he wants me to be sober. My sister is currently sober from alcohol for almost 4 years now and I hear the comments from my friends of them judging her for being sober. I feel I will lose alot of friends over this as well but I got to think to myself this is the best thing for me. My last drink was at 4am yesrerday so I'm almost 24 hours sober. The longest I've been sober has been a week and half and than either my husband or I will say I can control this by just having one drink which turns into a spiral of out of control.
My choice of poison is vodka I can easily go through a liter in about 4 days. I've been drinking hard since I was 24? About 8 years of drinking hard stuff. I've browsed this site for years and never had the courage to post anything. I feel I've finally have lost all control from my drinking. My husband doesnt understand how someone can have a problem he just says try to control it, you can have a drink just dont get drunk. I feel if I become sober he will secretly be disappointed that he lost a drinking buddy or think hes that guy who married someone that cant socially drink at events.sometimes I just wish he would tell me to stop or that he wants me to be sober. My sister is currently sober from alcohol for almost 4 years now and I hear the comments from my friends of them judging her for being sober. I feel I will lose alot of friends over this as well but I got to think to myself this is the best thing for me. My last drink was at 4am yesrerday so I'm almost 24 hours sober. The longest I've been sober has been a week and half and than either my husband or I will say I can control this by just having one drink which turns into a spiral of out of control.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,703
Hello and welcome to SR. The "friends" you may lose were never really friends to start with it if they don't support your decision in getting sober. You'll make new and true friends on your journey- I think everyone here will say the same, best of luck.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
It amazes me how seemingly intelligent people don't understand that alcoholics are 'wired' differently. I've had people tell me to 'just have a few' and stop. I tell them I can't because I am an alcoholic. They don't understand the mind of an addict/alcoholic.
I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day, every day for about 2 years. A handle on Saturday. I had severe withdrawal symptoms when I stopped. The amount you have been drinking should not cause anything beyond mild. But after 8 years of drinking, withdrawal could need medical attention. Google alcohol withdrawal symptoms and be aware if they get bad. You may end up in the ER at a bad time!
Welcome to the site.
I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day, every day for about 2 years. A handle on Saturday. I had severe withdrawal symptoms when I stopped. The amount you have been drinking should not cause anything beyond mild. But after 8 years of drinking, withdrawal could need medical attention. Google alcohol withdrawal symptoms and be aware if they get bad. You may end up in the ER at a bad time!
Welcome to the site.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Wastinglife 
It amazes me how seemingly intelligent people don't understand that alcoholics are 'wired' differently. I've had people tell me to 'just have a few' and stop. I tell them I can't because I am an alcoholic. They don't understand the mind of an addict/alcoholic.
I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day, every day for about 2 years. A handle on Saturday. I had severe withdrawal symptoms when I stopped. The amount you have been drinking should not cause anything beyond mild. But after 8 years of drinking, withdrawal could need medical attention. Google alcohol withdrawal symptoms and be aware if they get bad. You may end up in the ER at a bad time!
Welcome to the site.
I was drinking a fifth of vodka a day, every day for about 2 years. A handle on Saturday. I had severe withdrawal symptoms when I stopped. The amount you have been drinking should not cause anything beyond mild. But after 8 years of drinking, withdrawal could need medical attention. Google alcohol withdrawal symptoms and be aware if they get bad. You may end up in the ER at a bad time!
Welcome to the site.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
I had to reach a point where I didn't care what others thought, I just knew I wanted to get sober.
Sobriety is not just about not drinking alcohol, it's also about doing what we know to be right for ourselves.. Some here call this 'emotional sobriety'.
We find ourselves and it really doesn't matter what others think. It's a good feeling. Strength.
Welcome to SR Ashleymadison.
Sobriety is not just about not drinking alcohol, it's also about doing what we know to be right for ourselves.. Some here call this 'emotional sobriety'.
We find ourselves and it really doesn't matter what others think. It's a good feeling. Strength.
Welcome to SR Ashleymadison.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Steely
I had to reach a point where I didn't care what others thought, I just knew I wanted to get sober.
Sobriety is not just about not drinking alcohol, it's also about doing what we know to be right for ourselves.. Some here call this 'emotional sobriety'.
We find ourselves and it really doesn't matter what others think. It's a good feeling. Strength.
Welcome to SR Ashleymadison.
Sobriety is not just about not drinking alcohol, it's also about doing what we know to be right for ourselves.. Some here call this 'emotional sobriety'.
We find ourselves and it really doesn't matter what others think. It's a good feeling. Strength.
Welcome to SR Ashleymadison.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome to SR Ashley. I'm only a few hours ahead of you, but I've been here before, a lot actually.
You will love being sober. Most of the time, anyway. A lot of us have moments of wishing we could drink for a while after we stop. But it's only moments.
I agree with others that you can't let what your husband thinks influence you at all. Most other people don't understand. You can try to explain if you want, but it never got me anywhere. Now I just say, "You don't live inside me, so you can't really know why I'm doing this, but it's really important to me."
It's great to have SR here because the people here do understand.
It was so lovely waking up this morning without a hangover. I hope you're doing well, too. I'm glad you're here!
You will love being sober. Most of the time, anyway. A lot of us have moments of wishing we could drink for a while after we stop. But it's only moments.
I agree with others that you can't let what your husband thinks influence you at all. Most other people don't understand. You can try to explain if you want, but it never got me anywhere. Now I just say, "You don't live inside me, so you can't really know why I'm doing this, but it's really important to me."
It's great to have SR here because the people here do understand.
It was so lovely waking up this morning without a hangover. I hope you're doing well, too. I'm glad you're here!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 18
Thank you! I know it's crazy I love the feeling of waking up feeling good and motivated and I'll think to myself I love this, I need to feel this way everyday from now on out but by the time the day is coming to an end that's when I crave the alcohol.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
...then that's the time to log on here and find some support Ashley 
Feel free to check out our Class of April support thread too - its for everyone wanting to get clean and sober this month - all you need to do to join is post in it
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-one-9.html
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Feel free to check out our Class of April support thread too - its for everyone wanting to get clean and sober this month - all you need to do to join is post in it
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-one-9.html
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Originally Posted by Ashleymadison
Lol it's not my real name
'ashleymadison.com'
You didn't pick your username as a reference to that?
You may want to change it if you weren't aware of what the website is
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,703
Originally Posted by PeaceManic
Yes waking up refreshed never gets old. Someone here said you never wake up wishing you'd had more to drink last night, or something to that effect.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Dee74
It is going to take a few days at least if you are used to drinking yourself to sleep Ashley but normal sleep patterns should come in time.
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