Facebook - The Resentment Factory
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Facebook - The Resentment Factory
Hey guys,
Just thought i'd check in with everyone. I hope everyone is staying safe and had a nice weekend. I wondered if i could throw out a topic that has really been eating my lunch lately. Facebook. Man there are periods in my sobriety that i can take it and other times it's just sending me off the deep end into the resentment factory. I think alot of it stems from wanting to control people places and things. I'll give you an example. I know alot of us have been pretty stressed with this Covid-19 virus so i thought i'd post of picture of me wearing a bandana across my face. I got the bandana from a place called Boot Barn which is a cowboy store. I went on a hike in the mountains and took a picture of me wearing the bandana across my face. Took the picture and turned it black and white to make it look nostaligic. I typed put "keep your hands where i can see them and don't make any funny moves" Just trying to look creative and lighten the mood a little. Figured maybe someone would get a chuckle.
Well i have a friend who very seriously posted. Please cover your nose (as i only had my mouth covered) when you're near people. Good grief! So much for my attempt at humor. Now if i was drunk i would've lit into him but i just replied. "Thanks for the heads up. Noone nearby just me and the rabbits."
I guess bottom line guys i need to realize that people are going to say things that i can't control and i have to accept it. It's not easy. I've decided to take a Facebook sabatical for that and a few other reasons. I remember going off of the website for the first 8 months of my sobriety and it really helped me. Well i guess that's all the rambling i have today. I'd love to have any input or shares on social media and sobriety.
Thanks!
Garrison
Just thought i'd check in with everyone. I hope everyone is staying safe and had a nice weekend. I wondered if i could throw out a topic that has really been eating my lunch lately. Facebook. Man there are periods in my sobriety that i can take it and other times it's just sending me off the deep end into the resentment factory. I think alot of it stems from wanting to control people places and things. I'll give you an example. I know alot of us have been pretty stressed with this Covid-19 virus so i thought i'd post of picture of me wearing a bandana across my face. I got the bandana from a place called Boot Barn which is a cowboy store. I went on a hike in the mountains and took a picture of me wearing the bandana across my face. Took the picture and turned it black and white to make it look nostaligic. I typed put "keep your hands where i can see them and don't make any funny moves" Just trying to look creative and lighten the mood a little. Figured maybe someone would get a chuckle.
Well i have a friend who very seriously posted. Please cover your nose (as i only had my mouth covered) when you're near people. Good grief! So much for my attempt at humor. Now if i was drunk i would've lit into him but i just replied. "Thanks for the heads up. Noone nearby just me and the rabbits."
I guess bottom line guys i need to realize that people are going to say things that i can't control and i have to accept it. It's not easy. I've decided to take a Facebook sabatical for that and a few other reasons. I remember going off of the website for the first 8 months of my sobriety and it really helped me. Well i guess that's all the rambling i have today. I'd love to have any input or shares on social media and sobriety.
Thanks!
Garrison
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Yes, I’ve seen a lot of this nonsense on social media. I don’t post much anywhere but Instagram, but I’ve noticed that some people are eager to lecture others over the most harmless posts. I wonder if they think they’re performing a public service. Anyway, it’s irksome but you handled it well.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I get it too - and one thing I am definitely taking away from this experience is something I'd thought about for awhile, which is logging off, out and down of everything for x amount of time. Did it last Mon/Tu for sanity purposes and guess what? The world, the cleverness or the aggravation went on w/o me!
I have approval required on my accounts and there is a lot of good stuff on Insta, but I am not afraid to decline or block BS. I'm on it a lot for the restaurant industry recovery group I lead and even that, everyone is at a diff "place" at any given time so leaving it alone more often is better for ME.
If I can put myself in someone else's shoes and just assume that they're probably being xyz bc they are [scared, sad, frustrated, over it, whatever] it's better.
I have approval required on my accounts and there is a lot of good stuff on Insta, but I am not afraid to decline or block BS. I'm on it a lot for the restaurant industry recovery group I lead and even that, everyone is at a diff "place" at any given time so leaving it alone more often is better for ME.
If I can put myself in someone else's shoes and just assume that they're probably being xyz bc they are [scared, sad, frustrated, over it, whatever] it's better.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I get and appreciate the humor in your Facebook post. I am very serious about never being too serious. I need and enjoy humor. To me it can be a lifesaver. Unfortunately, some people don't have a sense of humor. Some people have lost their sense of humor in these times. I never want to lose mine because odds are I would replace it with agitation or worse anger. Not a good trade off.
When I feel myself starting to lose my sense of humor, I look at myself for new material and there is always plenty of fodder there. I didn't let a seizure from acute alcohol withdrawal (which can be fatal without prompt medical care) upset me enough to keep me from returning to drinking and so now I get upset over a mere Facebook post. Get real Nez! Man, I am just another bozo on the bus of life. I need to keep my hands where I can see them and no funny moves. :~)
When I feel myself starting to lose my sense of humor, I look at myself for new material and there is always plenty of fodder there. I didn't let a seizure from acute alcohol withdrawal (which can be fatal without prompt medical care) upset me enough to keep me from returning to drinking and so now I get upset over a mere Facebook post. Get real Nez! Man, I am just another bozo on the bus of life. I need to keep my hands where I can see them and no funny moves. :~)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Thanks for all of the great feedback! Being off it definately makes me feel less agitated but i do miss being able to connect with people who are out of state with ease. I suppose i could text those people.
Have a great day!
Have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
I have taken Facebook sabbaticals before and I highly recommend it. Sometimes we need a break. I have my Facebook page set up now so it's mainly friends I know and have worked with and that works for me. BTW - I appreciate your humor.
I joined a Utah Coronavirus support group. I cannot believe the conspiracy theories out there. Bill Gates and 5G are two I hadn't heard of. I often wonder if other countries have that as bad as we do.
I joined a Utah Coronavirus support group. I cannot believe the conspiracy theories out there. Bill Gates and 5G are two I hadn't heard of. I often wonder if other countries have that as bad as we do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
I took a break from FB several years ago and deactivated it. Probably was offline for about a year. When I came back, I had such a different attitude about it and I guess saw it for what it is to me...light humor.
For example, if someone writes something snarky on one of my posts, especially one meant to be light-hearted, I don't even respond. I think that frustrates people more than when I used to engage...just being quiet. Bottom line, FB is one of those things that can become consuming and in my view is inherently negative anyway, so taking a break isn't a bad idea!
For example, if someone writes something snarky on one of my posts, especially one meant to be light-hearted, I don't even respond. I think that frustrates people more than when I used to engage...just being quiet. Bottom line, FB is one of those things that can become consuming and in my view is inherently negative anyway, so taking a break isn't a bad idea!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by nez 
That is exactly the way I feel about alcohol. I love recovery.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Garrison - I have ambivalent feelings about Facebook too. I don't like to miss things my close friends & family post - but every time I visit there I feel my blood pressure rise after just a few minutes. I've posted lighthearted things & been put on the defensive many times. It's like people just sit there waiting for something to jump on. Sad. Good that you posted about it - hope it helped. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Hey G
Humours a difficult one right now, What I might find funny one day I might not the next.
Someone in a city or country racked with COVID19 cases might not find anything funny right now.
Your intent was good tho and that all you should really worry about IMO
You can always unfollow people for a time, or block them completely - or just use Messenger to keep in touch.?
D
Humours a difficult one right now, What I might find funny one day I might not the next.
Someone in a city or country racked with COVID19 cases might not find anything funny right now.
Your intent was good tho and that all you should really worry about IMO
You can always unfollow people for a time, or block them completely - or just use Messenger to keep in touch.?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 59
Do people still use facebook? And no im not going to go on a rant about it but.......
Its a hive for resentment..... Look at me, at sea in the Algarve having fun and sharing it with all of my facebook friends..... all this while you sit at a bus stop in the rain.
Avoid.
Its a hive for resentment..... Look at me, at sea in the Algarve having fun and sharing it with all of my facebook friends..... all this while you sit at a bus stop in the rain.
Avoid.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by HeadEast
I have taken Facebook sabbaticals before and I highly recommend it. Sometimes we need a break. I have my Facebook page set up now so it's mainly friends I know and have worked with and that works for me. BTW - I appreciate your humor.
I joined a Utah Coronavirus support group. I cannot believe the conspiracy theories out there. Bill Gates and 5G are two I hadn't heard of. I often wonder if other countries have that as bad as we do.
I joined a Utah Coronavirus support group. I cannot believe the conspiracy theories out there. Bill Gates and 5G are two I hadn't heard of. I often wonder if other countries have that as bad as we do.
You know who The Corrs are right? ( Irish music group ) Anyway Jim Corr is leading the charge for Europeans Biggest Wally Award. You must check him or it out. There is much humour to get from this!
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
I was never into FB up until the last few years. I find it triggering. My feed has people with their full mental illnesses on display. Not many but it only takes a couple. I'm pretty sure my mom fits the definition of NPD and it just brings me back. I come here to calm down but I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth going there anymore.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Originally Posted by Lillith
I quit all social media about a year ago. I definitely feel like it was the right decision for me. Don't miss it at all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 28
I quit Facebook months ago and don't regret it, all it did was cause problems . No-one HAS to be on Facebook or any social media for that matter.. I gave my phone number to some of my Facebook friends who didn't have it before I deleted my Facebook account, and we stay in touch by text , or phone . Much better and more private & personal.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
I use Facebook for business. It is great for advertising, much less money than other mediums.
I post pictures of the kids on my personal, funny memes, I don't have oodles of friends and I am mindful, just as in real life, just because it has been said among 'friends', doesn't mean it will stay there.
I can take it or leave it. I have worked hard on myself, my life and am content with what I have.II don't worry about what other people have or are doing.
I post pictures of the kids on my personal, funny memes, I don't have oodles of friends and I am mindful, just as in real life, just because it has been said among 'friends', doesn't mean it will stay there.
I can take it or leave it. I have worked hard on myself, my life and am content with what I have.II don't worry about what other people have or are doing.
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