Bilbao

Hi all - first post although I've been visiting regularly for the past few weeks.

I'm on day 126 - have been drinking excessively and daily for over 30 years with only occasional breaks - and apart from the first few days and the occasional craving since have generally found it surprisingly easy to live without alcohol since stopping back in November.

Problems have started in the last couple of weeks leading up to and including the lockdown. I guess it's due to my routines being completely messed up and general worry about the state of the world and the state of my finances, but I've been thinking about drink more and more. Tonight I told myself I didn't care any more and was planning to drink, but I managed to get onto the forum for a while and give myself a talking to until the cravings subsided.

I know myself well enough now to know that, even if it's just a couple of beers tonight, I won't be able to moderate and within a day or two I'd be back on it again - probably even harder as (in my mind) there's no reason to stay sober, no driving and every excuse. I'm sure I'm not alone in this.

Anyway, that's me - I won't be drinking tonight. Thanks for reading.

Steely

Yes, people everywhere concerned about their future. It's very sad. Doesn't take long for the house of cards to collapse, hey?

I understand your thinking but can't find the reason. It'll go back to how it was before, only worse.

We've got to be on our toes for this virus. To go drinking would compromise you, and others further. I don't think we have the luxury of alcohol during this time.

I'm glad you're not drinking.

saoutchik

Welcome to SR Bilbao and congratulations on 138 days. You're right, the world is a strange and scary place right now, just the time to be sober, healthy and with your wits about you. The same goes for your financial situation, drinking will make it worse twice over, in the money you spend on it and the money you won't earn because of it.

You are probably having a lot more time alone with your thoughts (like many others) I would try and think of something positive you can do that takes time and some effort which is a good thing itself and will help counteract the thoughts about drinking.

Don't throw your hard work away.

least

Welcome to the family. I'm glad you're not drinking and hope you don't give in to the urge to drink. We need all our wits about us to face this crisis.

Come here often to read and post. I hope our support can help you stay sober.

Congrats on your sober time!

Anna

I'm glad you posted and it's great to hear you're doing well.

Reid82

Welcome to SR and congrats on your sober time.

Dee74

welcome aboard Bilbao

D

Hevyn

Welcome Bilbao! You'll find us to be an encouraging, friendly group. We all understand your feelings like other can't. I drank 30 yrs. too. When I found SR I knew I wouldn't ever have to feel alone again. Hoping you'll stay.

AwkwardKitty

Welcome Bilbao, and well done on 126 days.

I'm at day 90 and feeling very much like you at the moment. That temptation to just escape into the bottle. But I keep reminding myself it's not escaping, its jumping right into the centre of the volcano. Dealing with all this craziness would be so so much harder if we were drinking.

None of us can control what's going on out there, but we can control what we are drinking. When all this is over, we will be even more grateful for sobriety.

Keep posting, you've got this!

Verdantia

Welcome, Bilbao--and congratulations on your wonderful sober time. These are difficult times to remain sober; schedules and lives have been upended , and there is all this down time now. All my classes have been changed to online and I'm having trouble with a couple of them in this new format--it's frustrating and it's hard to maintain focus. While making a necessary trip to the grocery today, I noticed that there is plenty of wine and beer available--and people were loading up their carts. I had a brief, chilling thought: you could drink. Who cares? Everything is a mess anyway. Go ahead. Immediately though, I realized that would be a huge disaster, and would destroy over 4 years of hard, dedicated work. It wasn't a craving, because they've gone away. It was a 'what if?' I cannot imagine having to deal with this situation while drunk--I am so happy to be sober now. I hope you stick around and continue to post--best wishes on your sober journey.

Bilbao

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome! Much appreciated.

You've summed it up perfectly there. The most effective way I've found to deal with the urge is to look ahead and see how damaging it would be over the next few days, weeks or whatever if I were to drink. But I have been surprised how challenging I've found the current situation.

Santi27

The last time I drank was Sunday 24th November, we must be at a similar stage. I've had to look that date up by going on Instagram to see the picture of me with a glass of wine in my hand. I think that's a good sign. The end of it all seems like a time ago now, so it feels like I've moved on.

I thought that the quarantine would make it worse, but three weeks in and with at least 3 more weeks to go, I seem fine. Fine in the sense that I'm not thinking about drinking, but yes, I've got all the other worries and fears that we all have. At the beginning of the I was very worried because the measures have meant that I can't go to the addiction clinic I was attending. I've been taking Antabuse and still have 2 weeks' worth of tablets but am keeping them in reserve. The clinic has minimum service but I don't fancy getting on the metro to get the prescription.

I think something just clicked a couple of months ago. I finally accepted that I couldn't drink again as I know what always happens sooner or later.

Also I think that under difficult times I don't want to throw alcohol into the mix.

Wastinglife

I am a little worried about the lockdown here. No so much about the virus, but being able to stay sober alone in self-isolation as the weeks drag on. The liquor stores are on reduced hours, but still open. What a great opportunity to load up with as much booze as possible and drink to oblivion.

I am sober now, but the cabin-fever can play with someone's mind.

Dee74

Stay connected and as engaged as possible - thats the way to beat cabin fever WL

D

Noam19

Welcome Bilbao. Great decision coming here! Everyone's routine has gotten shaken up a bit, mine included. But, looking on the Brightside it gave me an opportunity to evaluate where my routine was weak and what my plan B is. I hope that you developed your plan B by just logging in here instead of drinking.

Wishing you the best.

Bilbao

Santi - sorry but I can't reply to you until I have made a few more posts. All is well though.

Things seem to have settled down with the unexpected cravings I was having last week. Ironically the lack of routine has become the new routine, and now I've accepted that it's easier to deal with. I'm glad that I can confront these difficult times sober.

Hevyn

It's great to hear you're doing quite well, Bilbao. I agree - it's good to be facing things with a clear head.

Found

I resumed childhood hobbies I had dropped - mostly involving reading. My cheese and my tea are highlights also! Thanks for your vivid testimony, I love being reminded what "boat" I'm in! We no longer feel ashamed we're made this way.

Santi27

No worries, it was just a message of support as I saw that you also live in Spain.
I hope everything's still going well with you.