Steely

Don't stop the flow, flow.

Flowing

Thank you all for the support.

I'm so sorry but there's no point in not being honest. I didn't get through day 1.

I didn't go too overboard but I drank.

I have a real problem with "the witching hour" and from around 4 to 8 pm I really struggle.

Still no excuse though, I know I can commit when I focus fully.

DontRemember

You'll do it when you're ready and have had enough of doing/feeling the same way, day in and out. It's waaaayyy easier to just take the drinking nonsense completely off the table BUT, it takes work to get there .... still easier than dealing with day to day life that comes with alcoholic drinking. IMO/experience.

Gabe1980

Hey Flow. I can really identify with your post - getting restless and frustrated around the 90 day mark, feeling like sobriety is a punishment and I deserve to be 'normal', setting drinking rules and immediately breaking them.

I have a hunch we are both in the right place......it's so hard to really accept that alcohol is not an option any more but there is a TON of evidence that this can be done and people go on to have amazing lives.

Keep the faith.....it can happen for us too

Flowing

Thank you Gabe, it is so helpful to know I'm not the only one that doesn't transcend into bliss as soon as they stop drinking! So many people seem to not give enough credence to the fact that sobriety/recovery ain't no bed of Rose's.!!!

Abraham

Thanks for the reminder of why I quit and why I am staying quit. Best of luck to you and welcome aboard.

dig12

I understand what you mean about that 4-8pm period!!! For me just starting out, last night while I did very good it was after working from home where between 4pm and bedtime that the AV started to act up for the first time. I beat it back with a stick and jumped up and down on it until it stopped

Not sure what will work for you but I use this for cravings:

1. Remind yourself why you are doing this;
2. Distract yourself by doing something;
3. Challenge yourself (beat back that AV voice); and,
4. Ride it out!

By the time I'm done #2 and #3, the craving usually has crested and riding it out is the fun part!

I'm just technically one day sober (just looked at the clock, yay!)

So far it works for me.

You can do this Flowing!!!

Coldfusion

I certainly know that I did not instantly "transcend into bliss" when I quit drinking--most I know had a difficult first few days. But support can make all the difference, and right now that's pretty much limited to what you can get on line.

Keep reading and posting!

theVman31

I didnt transcend into bliss either and also fell off the wagon recently after over 5 months.
I'm 43 and I can remember being 34 and wanting to stop.
Wish I had.
I can remember 9 years ago when I was your age. I had one of my worse car crashes which resulted in ambulances, hurting others, police, court, losing licence, huge fine...

I wrote about my relapse here a few days ago. I hope reading it may help you. Keep trying and you will get to where you want to go.
Dont take it lightly. ✌️

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7413035 (StayCation Weekend - Weekenders 27- 30 March 2020)

Steely

And thank goodness for on-line. Don't know what I'd do if I couldn't come here throughout the day. You can cruise around anywhere here and find heaps of interesting stories. Hmmm.....I can relate.

I've believed the one who said, "nothing bad happened", but found I lied by omission. Forgot to remember (!) that any amount of alcohol will make me feel 'bad'. Nothing bad might have happened, but the underpinnings to addiction still took me out, everytime. BAD. No matter what. Control was never assured.

Life's got to mean mean more than, "nothing bad happened", surely?

You've got to work for the bliss, I think. Go through an apprenticeship. Walk the walk as they say in AA.

It's obvious that you don't like alcohol, you just think you do.

I'm trying to rethink that thinking.. It's not good enough.

Steely

Good one theVman.

fini

Flowing, yeah, i often didn’t make it through day one. it was mind-boggling to me that i could be so certain at the start if the day that i would not drink again, and then later that same day would “end up” buying the stuff and then drink it.
grasping that willpower in and of itself wasn’t going to be my ticket out took a long time.
good to see you back.

Flowing

Well I got a day sober yesterday but I've just had a drink today.

My honest thoughts are as follows.....

.Do I really feel any better after a decent period of sobriety?

.Is the whole concept of recovery just built around people who swap one addiction for another?

. If sobriety was so great why are there plenty of miserable people who are not drunks or addicts?

. If Sobriety was so great why are so many recovering addicts still absolutely enslaved to daily recovery activities?

. I think there's probably plenty of people who realised that alcohol wasn't their primary problem, therefore went on to sort out their primary problem and developed a perfectly healthy relationship with alcohol.

.If the common concept of alcoholism wasn't adopted by anyone who has a drinking problem, would we see a far less black and white outcome?

Coldfusion

Gee, Flowing, I read your last post and it sounds like your addiction talking. I for one am glad to be sober today, and glad I put up with a little discomfort to get sober.

doggonecarl

That's drinking thinking right there. Why be sober if sober is no better than drinking and just as miserable.

If you are miserable sober, than you are doing something wrong. Maybe all you are doing is abstaining, and not addressing the alcoholism. Or maybe you aren't an alcoholic. Just a miserable person. Then do something to fix that, be it a measure of self-improvement, or address possible depression or mental health issues.

Sobriety wasn't a free pass to Disneyland for me. It was the foundation upon which I built a fulfilling sober life. Built. As in it took a lot of work. And that work started when I put the bottle down.

Dee74

Hi Flowing

for years I would stay sober- maybe 3 days here 4 days there, 8 weeks once - and think 'being sober sucks ...might as well drink'.

(when I finally got sober for good (scared myself sober) it took me maybe 2-3 months for my mind and body to even start to heal after my last drink and for me to appreciate sobriety as opposed to just taking drinking breaks.

if you're just taking drinking breaks too, maybe it's not really sobriety you're judging?

I needed to do more than just not drink too. I needed to build a sober life I loved and didnt want to lose.

If I stay the same I'm gonna want that drink again sooner or later.

and for the record I never 'ascended into bliss' - I don't know anyone who has,.

Life is not meant to be blissful, Flowing..

But I am happier I'm at peace and I love my life - even now in these days of uncertainty and fear I'm looking with hope at each new day.

That beats the hell out of poisoning myself day after day.

D

BeckoningCat

I've noticed that I feel better in just under 3 weeks.

Possibly. AA strikes me as compulsive and culty, but maybe some addicts need to cultivate a "healthier" compulsion. It worked for my grandfather, and after he stopped going to AA, he became a church person and hardcore coffee drinker.

I really am relying on meditating. If daily meditation is an addiction, it's a lot better for me than drinking to deal with all my stress.

There are possibilities where you could seriously develop a different addiction that was truly harmful, but I think there are ways of addressing it in therapy or through recovery groups.

Philosophies like Buddhism and Taoism also ask this question. The great thing about both of them is that you can believe in a "God" or supernatural presence, be agnostic or atheist. They address the core of human suffering in two subtle different ways. One may appeal to you more than another. I have learned from Buddhism and continue to learn about it, but Taoism appeals more to me because of the focus on nature and balance.

Because if you had cancer you wouldn't bound of bed after three days of rest like it was a little head cold, either. You would need continued treatment until your specific circumstance went into remission.

That's true. Although I have had a therapist tell me that takes six months minimum, a year more advisably, and multiple years in some cases. Then again, you may not be one of those people.

That's another reason why AA wouldn't work for me, but SMART recovery addresses this gray area. You might look into them. They're also good for people uncomfortable with religion.

richie1978chris

Hi Flow. I hear you. Totally relate to your post. This my first day on this site. A friend of mine recommended it and so far so good for me. I'm cautious of the feeling of feeling locked in recovery but I tell myself that voice telling me that is the same voice telling me a bag of coke is a great idea. It wants me to feel recovery is a trap so can get me back into the real trap of using/drinking. I don't know if you can relate I got two voices in my nut, one telling me don't wat to feel trapped in recovery and another saying i need recovery cause otherwise I'm screwed. Same two voices battle with drinking/using. The one voice says woo hoo its going to be great this time. Other voice says hold on Rich, this aint a smart move... I'm struggling to seperate those two voices with my current substance. Some how I did with alcohol and crack. God only knows how. Keep marching tho. hope my post helps in some small way. Just my experience/opinion tho.

Dee74

Please lets not go down an anti AA (or anti any method) road

Word choices, loaded and redolent with meaning, like 'culty' change discussions into arguments.

That gets threads closed in the forum, or people banned from threads - and I
I think flowing needs the support.

I'd much rather hear what works for people rather than what doesn't.

lets try that.

Dee
Administrator
SR

richie1978chris

what ever works for people is cool is it not. bad mouthing support where ever it is ain't cool. What works for one may not work for another. My experience may not be anyone elses. Ive had bad experiences in many walks of life but where i experienced bad many others experienced good. I've experienced aa and ca bashing before and i didn't gel with them but i know a lot of amazing people who had their lives transformed by those fellowships and they are still my friends now. live and let live