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Old 03-26-2020, 09:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Helping A Loved One Who Is Also A Addict


I am almost at my 3 year Sobriety date! However I have a Sister who is also an Addict but she is still in her Active Addiction. She has been using for almost 2 years. I love her so, so much and I know First hand what she is dealing with and facing! I just want to help her. How do you help when you also don't want to risk your own Recovery? I know what all I have endured whilst in my Addiction, all the low's and hitting my rock bottom to all the pain and suffering I dealt with! Also how I got clean and Sober and my long road to recovery! I know what helped me and the steps I took, however every Addict is different and every Situation not the same.
Within the First year of her Addiction she tumbled downhill fast! She had lost her two Children 5 times, 4 of which my Husband and I had Custody of each time. They were just babies then. Now they are 4 and 5. The Court has finally had it going back and forth with her, and nothing changed! The children were taken this last time and put into Foster Care, and she was once again told to do the Simple Few steps for her to regain custody back of the children! She did absolutely nothing! (I don't know how as a Mother you can not fight for your children) She was taken back to Court and told if she didn't start taking measures that they were going to Terminate her Parental Rights and they would be Adopted out...Permanently! For the last 2 solid years she kept putting everything off and doing the absolute bare minimum. Her last court date she couldn't even show up, to show she even cared enough about her own Children. and unfortunately they were Adopted out and Terminated her Rights! So now my Husband and I have to Fight like hell to get them back and Adopt them! So whatever Advice big or small would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!
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Old 03-27-2020, 08:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
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That must be heartbreaking to see her kids permanently removed, and for he to not make any effort. Mind if I ask what she's on? Your being a good example by taking control of your life. She had the consequence of losing her kids. Does she have any legal trouble? Documented mental health issues? Does she support herself financially? Those are the only routes I can see which might lead to her being forced into treatment. Even if she's went through it before, it's not uncommon for a person to need multiple attempts. Staying in contact to what degree is safe for you, being there to encourage treatment may be all you can do. Doing some research on what treatment options might help her if the chance comes.

I was really sick with drug use a few years ago, and my family got me into inpatient treatment. I was too out of it to realize what condition I was in.
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Old 03-30-2020, 09:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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She is on Methamphetamines, she has also only been using for about 2 years...maybe 3, not exactly sure! The messed up thing about it is she has seen me go through my Addiction and hit rock bottom, she seen all of my struggles and falls...yet she still wanted that life. I couldn't stop her...which I already knew in the first place. I have never lost my Children! Thank goodness because I could have and while I was using probably should have. I really had someone up above watching over me. I was also grateful to not have any drug related legal issues happen! She has never been in any type of legal issues, except some minor traffic tickets and child support for her oldest (whom she just walked away from also) She has had her house raided by the cops and as well by Division of Family and Social Services. She has had DFS at her door and her kid's taken away 4 times, after they searched her home, the cops pulling out 2-3 gallon size ziplock bags FULL of needles, every time they would raid her house they would find 2-3 bags of needles (yes all dirty needles too) along with much much more drug paraphernalia and beings we are from a Small town, with corrupt cops and a Judge who just never cared enough about the Children...she ended up getting them back and barely doing the minimum to get them back. It's like she wants the glory and clout of being a Mother, but not the Responsibilities! She acts as if she enjoys not having to raise them or take care of them, like she is on a vacation. When my Family or myself bring the children up and we bring up that No mother does what she is doing and it's not right, she will shed her occasional 3 crocodile tears and poor pity her, and how she misses them and so forth! But in Reality she never cared, nor loved them...and it's not about her. It's about those children, who didn't ask to be brought into this world and don't deserve what she is doing to them. It is the Children who are being hurt and affected by this! All I can do is Pray for her!
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Old 03-31-2020, 07:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Kids shouldn't be around any of it. I hope they are provided with counseling as part of the process in child protection. Your lucky you made it back from meth. All I know is that it's a bad one. Try to manage your stress, so you can stay healthy and be there for your own kids.
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