Day 214
 

Hi,

Not posted in a long time but I have been reading the forum! How is everyone doing? Many many failed attempts but this time it seems to be working.

Hope everyone is good?

214 is definitely totally over the physical addiction. My issue was my brain still wanted the endorphins that booze (drugs) gave me.

So, I craved. But, as you probably figured out, I was able to quell/forget about the crave through living a clean life.

Exercise is my go to drug now, but there are so many other ways to get high on life.

Looking at a beautiful sunrise gave me such a rush yesterday. Taking my kid on a bike ride did it too. etc etc etc.

There is no mystery in what we are dealing with. It is brain alteration. Brain damage. It is permanent and the brain has to rewire. A relapse damages the new pathways. That is where kindling comes in.

This is not absolute science, this is how I stay clean. Other folks do other things. What ever works for them. There is only one judge and he/she is not posting on SR.

I vote you are over a huge hurdle and destiny regarding drinking can be changed for the better.

Never drinking again. Born again non drinker.

Thanks.

214 is definitely totally over the physical addiction. My issue was my brain still wanted the endorphins that booze (drugs) gave me.

So, I craved. But, as you probably figured out, I was able to quell/forget about the crave through living a clean life.

Exercise is my go to drug now, but there are so many other ways to get high on life.

Looking at a beautiful sunrise gave me such a rush yesterday. Taking my kid on a bike ride did it too. etc etc etc.

There is no mystery in what we are dealing with. It is brain alteration. Brain damage. It is permanent and the brain has to rewire. A relapse damages the new pathways. That is where kindling comes in.

This is not absolute science, this is how I stay clean. Other folks do other things. What ever works for them. There is only one judge and he/she is not posting on SR.

I vote you are over a huge hurdle and destiny regarding drinking can be changed for the better.

Never drinking again. Born again non drinker.

Thanks.

​​​​​​Been in many situations where I previously would have drank, managed not too so far. With the stress of this corona virus I have thought about it and not did it.

Your right a lot of it is down to our brains and re wiring. I seem to have gotten so lazy since I have stopped, I can't get any motivation to do anything.

I have got it into my head that if I drink it will kill me as I was a heavy drinker thus is not a bad thing.

You are doing great! Keep on keepin on!

congratulations Tambdy :)

D

Tambdy,

The lack or motivation/energy is something I found was mental as well.

When I drank I was so lazy. Being drunk then hungover. Trying to exert myself during those times would cause my heart to race and my bp to spike so hard i could feel the veins flexing in my temples.

But, what I quickly found out, pretty much from day 1 clean is that I had a lot more energy than I felt like I had.

Maybe it was because I was used to never having any energy.

I was so weak when i first quit that I would get light headed bending over to pick up my sock. Doing yard work was limited to about 15 minutes.

But, it was better than when I was drinking.

I have kept on testing my stamina since those early days and obviously i am stronger. I won't go on to tell stories, because it sounds too braggy.

I will just repeat this....My body had way more energy than my brain thought. I only needed to try.

Finally, when I tried to push myself I got a natural high. The same high I got while drinking minus all the slurring, stumbling, and hang overs.

Endorphins, dopamine, and good adrenaline.

Thanks for the therapy. It gave me a little dopamine typing this out.

Love y'all.