anxiousrock

On saturday I drank. I drank all night and into the morning. I was working drunk so i wasn't much help.
I think on the saturday night I drunk called a client late at night just to talk. I cant believe it. This is my worst fear. If someone doesn't report me I'll be amazed.
I'm done guys, this is my bottom. I cant get lower than this.

anxiousrock

Sorry to keep posting I just cant function from stress.

freedomfries

Relax
What's done is done. You can't change the past
Live in the present

Anna

I'm sorry about your drinking AnxiousRock, and I do hope that you make the changes you need to make.

anxiousrock

Thanks guy . I haven't slept in so long.

Wastinglife

If you haven't heard any feedback by now, you are probably in the clear. If the boss does bring anything up, whatever you do, don't admit to drinking.

I speak from experience. I have lost a few jobs for drinking on the clock. I would get caught because of the smell of booze coming from me. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to tell I was drinking. Just make sure you are sober next time you go into work.

MantaLady

I’ve done the exact same thing when drinking too AR and I know how it feels when you have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that just won’t go away, the fear, the shame, the wishing you could take it back. What I have learned is whilst it’s so fresh it’s hard not to keep turning it round and round in your mind but more often than not things are not as bad a they seem. I spent a lot of time saying out loud to myself “what’s done is done, you can change it or redo it, accept it and take responsibility and don’t make the same mistake again”

Worrying about the past or the future robs you of the now. I had to try really hard to keep saying that to myself and eventually I could let go and move on. Keep strong, and be kind to yourself xx

anxiousrock

I offered to help them tonight and they declined so to me they might already know. I did go to my actual job though.

soupcon

How are you doing now?

anxiousrock

got asked to work from home. Fine. Lots to do.
today I even got up and did a work out at home since the gym is closed.
internet went down and I called. They can't fix it right now need to wait at least 3 hours.
omg I'm stressed.

Anna

I hope that you get your internet up and running quickly. I'm sure it's stressful, especially as you're working from home. Good job getting up early and working out.

wiscsober

Hi. How are you doing. The first few days can be harrowing. Don't drink, talk with someone, rest, eat well, stay on SR. Chin up! You are as worthy of sobriety like all of us.

anxiousrock

found out today I am laid off until at least September. plus no internet still.

Steely

No good anxiousrock.

Is this result of coronavirus?

Whatever the case I really hope you don't drink. Use this time to get yourself together.

Will you be able to afford rent and stuff? I hope so. These are difficult times indeed.

Dee74

I'm sorry about you being laid off anxiousrock -I know a lot of people are in that position in my country and yours.

D

anxiousrock

yes it's due to COVID-19. I have no desire to drink right now, I did have a break down earlier though as I've had a really really bad year so far and I've drank twice already this year and it's not even April

Steely

I'm not counting just working with the now. So we start now, before April even begins.

I'm sorry anxiousrock. I have family members with mortgages and stuff. Building their first home with all of the dream attached. It's awful.

Gotta pull together anxious rock. Stay sober and stay strong. Always.

anxiousrock

I pay a mortgage too on my first home. It won't be getting paid for a while

Steely

Has govt, bank, given you respite anxiousrock?

Are you looking for work?

anxiousrock

well i will be on EI until my office opens again...hopefully in September. I'm going to gain the 48lbs I lost but maybe I'll find myself.