I Can't Really Put My Finger On It But...
 

The past day or 2 drinking again is rolling around my head. Maybe it's because of the sad state of affairs in the world and their isn't much point in staying sober. Maybe this sofa surfing lifestyle for the past few years has caught up with me as it's time to move on again, or maybe I just miss feeling disconnected completely from everything...

Whatever it is I feel myself sliding downhill really really fast inside

Yes, the world is in unusual turmoil right now, but no one knows how this is going turn out, and no matter how it all does, I'd rather experience it sober. It's possible you are just looking at the glass half empty as an excuse to start drinking.

Things can sometimes be depressing. We all go through that once in a while. Sobriety is about punching through these times. I think it's a given that breaking out the booze is not going to make the world around you better.

Thank you for sharing this. These are definitely strange days we are living in. None of us have been through anything quite like this before and I agree that no matter how optimistic you are, there are going to be some tough times still ahead. That might be the very reason why you remain sober though. There are others around you who will need your strength whether they catch the virus themselves or just need someone to help them with anxiety, and you'll want to be there for them. Since you've not been drinking for a while, what do you normally do to disconnect besides drink? (I need some help here as well)

Changing subjects- may I ask what prompted you to quit drinking to begin with?

Thanks agains for sharing!

These are difficult times, but you know that you will be able to manage much better if you remain sober.

Originally I didn't come here to stop drinking. I was looking for a way to stop sending texts and email when blacked out. But then the replies I started to get on my thread kind of scared me so much I stopped that day. I think it was August last year.

So you think you've been sober long enough that you won't black out anymore? Good luck with that! If you start drinking again it is going to be worse. Much worse. And it will keep getting worse and worse!

Houston, anxiety is big factor in cravings. Don't forget your brain has been used to turning to alcohol for relief for just about everything. That's why you feel like drinking when you're tired or hungry.

Try to concentrate on relaxation exercises when you start thinking about alcohol and see whether that helps.

The Serenity prayer applies here as much as ever.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I've learned so much complicated crap in life but the way I actually earn a living everyday has got to be 90+% simple algebra.

People think I'm complicated but I'm actually as simple as can be.

When in doubt or trouble i go to the serenity prayer and apply it to the situation. Is this something I can control, if so what can I do, if not than what do I do. I ask myself basic questions. Can I control the virus? The global reaction? Can I control myself?

These things come and go, just a few months ago we were in ww3 with Iran.

Thanks for posting!
It's just the addiction looking for an opportunity.
The world is gonna be fine. You are gonna be fine and if you drink over this once this panic is over you will be in a much worse place.

There are 1 or more reasons you felt the need to quit drinking.
Fall back to that thought process.
Turn off the tv and live a great sober life.

Hi Houstin

I'm reading this as you're thinking of drinking again?

these are definitely trying times - I've been through other crises, like the SARS panic eye -rollingly drunk - and I have to say staying sober beats that every time hands down.

You're a good person with a bog heart who works hard to support others and put them at ease. Give some of that compassion and care to yourself.

Use your drive for service to stay sober. You can't help anyone else when you're drunk but you can make a difference when you're not.

Block out that voice that says whats the point because the point is we will survive this :)

D

Houstin - I hope you'll resist the temptation to get numb - it leads you nowhere & accomplishes nothing but more self-destruction. This too will pass, & you need to be sober to enjoy your life with a clear head & eyes wide open.

Thanks everyone. I've got my focus back!

Thanks Dee

:c014:

D

I love this candid response, and I understand it totally. While I was drinking and hating myself at the same time, all I wanted at first was just the ability to keep drinking without the consequences. It's the fantasy of all of us. But oh those consequences! They just keep coming, and don't stop until we stop drinking.

OK, I did laugh at you a little bit, but in the friendliest sort of way. Think about it, "Drinking, hangovers, blackouts, not a problem, but sending weird texts and emails while blacked out is what I have to deal with." OK it's not so funny when I write it out. I dunno. Maybe it's not funny at all.

It is funny when I think back on it now, it's almost like I was looking for someone to say, 'Hey, you need the blackout software, it's software you download to your phone/laptop and it rewrites your texts and Emails into something positive and understandable without spelling errors and bad grammar, it will even reply when you pass out drunk on the floor'

Anyway thanks for writing in, I'm in hospital after accidentally eating a daffodil bulb mistaking it for an onion'

I shouldn't be in here long though cuz the doc said today I should be out in Spring!

:lmao