again and again....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 3
again and again....
Hi,
I am an alcoholic. I have been an alcoholic my entire life and my body craves it unlike a "normal" person. I've been in and out of AA for over 23 years and I am still insane with the thought that this time can be different, I can have just one. Well, this last time, just one (which is never just one) caused me to lose my job, almost lose my marriage, my home and I was arrested and held in a "tank" for almost 17 hours. it's time to grow up and stop this craziness in my life.
I did have 8 years of sobriety at one point in the middle of my drinking career and life was great, so I know that I can do this. I have an extremely supportive husband whom I don't deserve for what I have put him through, I have an amazing sponsor who has not given up on me. I have a great addiction therapist although he is up north where I used to live (we speak on the phone). I have a great support group in AA and I am working my program. I do not want to lose my life or the life that my husband and I built together so, I must prevail!
My last drink was 14 days ago. I do not have any cravings until I go to the store and see the liquor store there, or when my husband drinks, the thought runs through my mind. My sponsor said that when I think of a drink, remember where that one drink led me to last time. My BAL was a .328 and I don't weigh much so I could have been dead. Life is too precious to waste and half my life is over so I must make the best of the remaining half and I do not want to be a blackout drunk anymore.
Well, that's me in a nutshell. So glad to have found this forum!
Blessed be...
I am an alcoholic. I have been an alcoholic my entire life and my body craves it unlike a "normal" person. I've been in and out of AA for over 23 years and I am still insane with the thought that this time can be different, I can have just one. Well, this last time, just one (which is never just one) caused me to lose my job, almost lose my marriage, my home and I was arrested and held in a "tank" for almost 17 hours. it's time to grow up and stop this craziness in my life.
I did have 8 years of sobriety at one point in the middle of my drinking career and life was great, so I know that I can do this. I have an extremely supportive husband whom I don't deserve for what I have put him through, I have an amazing sponsor who has not given up on me. I have a great addiction therapist although he is up north where I used to live (we speak on the phone). I have a great support group in AA and I am working my program. I do not want to lose my life or the life that my husband and I built together so, I must prevail!
My last drink was 14 days ago. I do not have any cravings until I go to the store and see the liquor store there, or when my husband drinks, the thought runs through my mind. My sponsor said that when I think of a drink, remember where that one drink led me to last time. My BAL was a .328 and I don't weigh much so I could have been dead. Life is too precious to waste and half my life is over so I must make the best of the remaining half and I do not want to be a blackout drunk anymore.
Well, that's me in a nutshell. So glad to have found this forum!
Blessed be...
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Hi Jenwags! I also could have written your post. I went on for 30 yrs. insisting I could somehow become a social drinker if I just used enough willpower. My last drinking session cost me dearly too. I hurt & confused my family, upset my co-workers & lost all respect from them - spent a fortune on crazy things - and managed to get 2 dui's within a short period of time. I don't know why I tried so desperately to hold on to it.
You're in the right place for encouragement & friendship. We all understand & want to help. Welcome!
You're in the right place for encouragement & friendship. We all understand & want to help. Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,547
I'm glad you found us Jenwags.
I relate to all you say. Now, for me, there's no doubting it's a much better life being sober.
We can do anything we want except drink. Sounds like a good deal to me.
So many good things to do.
I relate to all you say. Now, for me, there's no doubting it's a much better life being sober.
We can do anything we want except drink. Sounds like a good deal to me.
So many good things to do.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,647
Welcome Jen. SR is a great place to read/learn/support/get support. Lots of threads to join. Do you have a recovery plan? It sounds like you have very good support in place. My support to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 464
Originally Posted by Anna 
It's great that you had 8 years of sobriety so you know that you can do this. And, 14 days is a great start. I hope you continue to read and post here.
Welcome...it's time to get back on board the # 8 train
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
You are definitely in the right place!!! Welcome to SR, an incredible place to get support, strength, love, wisdom and tons of experiences from people who completely get you.
This place has been a blessing for me. I was torn up when I logged on for the first time; career over, marriage over, life about to end by either my own hand or the hand of this disease. I have not forgotten being able to access this "family" that built up around me on the long, lonely nights.
I am so so happy you are here and ready to do this thing!!! Stay in touch with us, we understand...
Nic.
This place has been a blessing for me. I was torn up when I logged on for the first time; career over, marriage over, life about to end by either my own hand or the hand of this disease. I have not forgotten being able to access this "family" that built up around me on the long, lonely nights.
I am so so happy you are here and ready to do this thing!!! Stay in touch with us, we understand...
Nic.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 84
Hi, Jen
I'm really glad you found SR too! Its been super helpful during this early stage of my sobriety and everyone is so supportive!
I know you mentioned AA which is great but have you considered any online meetings etc? I currently do SMART meetings online twice a wee and find them really helpful! They also have some great tools on the site including HOV, VACIs, Hula Hoop and plenty more!
I'm still learning so much and trying to be really proactive in my recovery so any advice you can offer would be great!
Also, on Tuesday (all being well and no lock down) ill be attending my second mindfulness class which has also been a great help if that's something you'd consider?
Keep focused 
I'm really glad you found SR too! Its been super helpful during this early stage of my sobriety and everyone is so supportive!
I know you mentioned AA which is great but have you considered any online meetings etc? I currently do SMART meetings online twice a wee and find them really helpful! They also have some great tools on the site including HOV, VACIs, Hula Hoop and plenty more!
I'm still learning so much and trying to be really proactive in my recovery so any advice you can offer would be great!
Also, on Tuesday (all being well and no lock down) ill be attending my second mindfulness class which has also been a great help if that's something you'd consider?
Keep focused
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 3
Thank you all for the warm welcomes, I really do appreciate it!
I would love to do online meetings, especially considering what's going on right now. I will look into that today! Thanks.
I would love to do online meetings, especially considering what's going on right now. I will look into that today! Thanks.
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