Looking back and feeling grateful
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
Looking back and feeling grateful
Its 3am here and I'm struggling to sleep (day 73). I'm just sitting on my front doorstep and thinking back to when I was drinking. I'd binge about 2-3 times a week, staying up all night getting wasted by myself. So boring. Anyway, I'd often run out of alcohol (planning to stop at a certain amount then resolve lowered) and leave the house at this time to walk to the 24 hour shop, even though I'd already be drunk out of my mind) What was I thinking?
Sitting here looking out at the street and remembering the craziness that led me to do such a dangerous thing. Anything could have happened to me, I'm so lucky it didn't (many times I passed by dodgy looking characters on my night time missions). Although I'm feeling rubbish and can't sleep, I'm really grateful for sobriety and having the chance to sober up. The drunk me was so far away from who I am, and made decisions that the real me never would.
Sitting here looking out at the street and remembering the craziness that led me to do such a dangerous thing. Anything could have happened to me, I'm so lucky it didn't (many times I passed by dodgy looking characters on my night time missions). Although I'm feeling rubbish and can't sleep, I'm really grateful for sobriety and having the chance to sober up. The drunk me was so far away from who I am, and made decisions that the real me never would.
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Location: Toronto
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Wait, you have a 24 hour shop?? The latest one can buy booze here is 11pm, excluding bars. Then the earliest one can buy booze is 9:30am.
Stricter rules around alcohol sales are probably beneficial to society, but horrible for an alcoholic who runs out at 3am and has to wait....
Stricter rules around alcohol sales are probably beneficial to society, but horrible for an alcoholic who runs out at 3am and has to wait....
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Originally Posted by Wastinglife 
Wait, you have a 24 hour shop?? The latest one can buy booze here is 11pm, excluding bars. Then the earliest one can buy booze is 9:30am.
Stricter rules around alcohol sales are probably beneficial to society, but horrible for an alcoholic who runs out at 3am and has to wait....
Stricter rules around alcohol sales are probably beneficial to society, but horrible for an alcoholic who runs out at 3am and has to wait....
I think big supermarkets cant sell alcohol within certain times but in urban areas like mine there are lots of 24 hour shops, normally eastern European, that are open all the time.
I'm in the UK btw.
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Originally Posted by Dee74
Congrats on 73 days AK - hope you'll get some sleep soon! 
D
D
I managed to go to my weight loss group this morning, I've stuck to my healthy eating plan and lost 9.5lb in the past 6 weeks and won slimmer of the week today
I spoke openly there about my depression and stopping drinking, and everyone was really supportive.Because of the COVID thing I'm actually looking forward to an indoors weekend. Me and my son have been to buy lots of ingredients for baking, and I have some good recipes to cook. We have some crafts and lego, and I've been learning to paint with watercolours. Theres lots of household jobs to do, like laundry and cleaning. I'm planning on getting lots of rest, eating lots of tasty food and spending time with my family.
Have a good weekend all!
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Originally Posted by DriGuy
Kitty,
I like your attitude.
I like your attitude.
its 9.30pm and I'm way overtired. Am just snuggled in bed with my son. We've just been talking about plans to turn all the furniture into a den tomorrow (he's 4). We did baking today and some Lego. I'm doing good
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
24 hour access to liquor sales, wow, my drunk twin would really love that!
I use to be paranoid about dwi late in my drinking career. I would get a little beer buzz. Just enough so I was under the limit but had a nice buzz to enjoy the drive to get food. Pick up food and make sure my beer supply was stocked with the finest craft beer. I never ran out, I was adamant about this. I'd get hot food and just let it sit for hours while I drank, I wouldn't want it to ruin my buzz.
Sometimes I would be drunk and find myself right back at restless, irritable, and discontent. I'd get tired of drinking and need more. The next thing I know I'm at the ATM taking money out of my checking account and driving drunk into a high crime area to score crack and sometimes heroin. I dont know how many times I swore to myself I would just enjoy some craft beer like a normal person and the next thing I'm spending money and taking insane chances once I turn into my drunk twin. The food would go from a late dinner to next day's lunch.
I hate to think of the mess my life would be by now if I never had got caught by the police.
I use to be paranoid about dwi late in my drinking career. I would get a little beer buzz. Just enough so I was under the limit but had a nice buzz to enjoy the drive to get food. Pick up food and make sure my beer supply was stocked with the finest craft beer. I never ran out, I was adamant about this. I'd get hot food and just let it sit for hours while I drank, I wouldn't want it to ruin my buzz.
Sometimes I would be drunk and find myself right back at restless, irritable, and discontent. I'd get tired of drinking and need more. The next thing I know I'm at the ATM taking money out of my checking account and driving drunk into a high crime area to score crack and sometimes heroin. I dont know how many times I swore to myself I would just enjoy some craft beer like a normal person and the next thing I'm spending money and taking insane chances once I turn into my drunk twin. The food would go from a late dinner to next day's lunch.
I hate to think of the mess my life would be by now if I never had got caught by the police.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I used to do the same, stagger the 20 minute walk to the 24 hour garage in the middle of the night. I remember one January in the early hours I got back to my house and nearly fell into the river (my house is in a river). I lunged backwards and fell into the path instead and a man came up to me and said 'come back to my place I had lots of food'. He kept on and on at me but I managed to get up and get home. Someone in my group said that food means crack!! He obviously saw what a state I was in and went in for the kill. It's crazy the vulnerable situations we get into that we wouldn't sober.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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Originally Posted by RecklessDrunk
24 hour access to liquor sales, wow, my drunk twin would really love that!
I use to be paranoid about dwi late in my drinking career. I would get a little beer buzz. Just enough so I was under the limit but had a nice buzz to enjoy the drive to get food. Pick up food and make sure my beer supply was stocked with the finest craft beer. I never ran out, I was adamant about this. I'd get hot food and just let it sit for hours while I drank, I wouldn't want it to ruin my buzz.
Sometimes I would be drunk and find myself right back at restless, irritable, and discontent. I'd get tired of drinking and need more. The next thing I know I'm at the ATM taking money out of my checking account and driving drunk into a high crime area to score crack and sometimes heroin. I dont know how many times I swore to myself I would just enjoy some craft beer like a normal person and the next thing I'm spending money and taking insane chances once I turn into my drunk twin. The food would go from a late dinner to next day's lunch.
I hate to think of the mess my life would be by now if I never had got caught by the police.
I use to be paranoid about dwi late in my drinking career. I would get a little beer buzz. Just enough so I was under the limit but had a nice buzz to enjoy the drive to get food. Pick up food and make sure my beer supply was stocked with the finest craft beer. I never ran out, I was adamant about this. I'd get hot food and just let it sit for hours while I drank, I wouldn't want it to ruin my buzz.
Sometimes I would be drunk and find myself right back at restless, irritable, and discontent. I'd get tired of drinking and need more. The next thing I know I'm at the ATM taking money out of my checking account and driving drunk into a high crime area to score crack and sometimes heroin. I dont know how many times I swore to myself I would just enjoy some craft beer like a normal person and the next thing I'm spending money and taking insane chances once I turn into my drunk twin. The food would go from a late dinner to next day's lunch.
I hate to think of the mess my life would be by now if I never had got caught by the police.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
Thanks for all your well wishes!
I'm still struggling to sleep and I'm still depressed.
But I'm at day 74 and I wouldn't swap it for the world. If this is a necessary part of the journey then so be it. It's still infinitely less desperate than when I was drinking, and I mean that!
I'm still struggling to sleep and I'm still depressed.
But I'm at day 74 and I wouldn't swap it for the world. If this is a necessary part of the journey then so be it. It's still infinitely less desperate than when I was drinking, and I mean that!
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