30 days.... feeling exhausted
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 63
30 days.... feeling exhausted
Hello everyone, I'm 30 days sober today, I've been here several times before.... but never to far past the 30 day mark. The last few days have been really hard to not drink.... as I have had a few days off of work and to myself.... time I would typically fill with booze in my more alcoholic frame of mind. But I haven't,.... though my mind has been obsessing about drinking over the past week or so and it's exhausting... and I can't seem to pin point why. I just read a post Dee replied to where he included a link about "urge surfing". This sounds like it would be helpful for me right now but im not really good at medatation.... I will def give it a try though. Another emotion that has washed over me alot today is shame.... shame related to how I carried myself while drinking, and the impression people around me must have of me because of this...... this in conjunction with the obsession to drink has been a double punch for me today......I know drinking won't make any of these things better but this is how im feeling today. Currently my recovery program consist of reading books on recovery, listening to podcast, and visiting SR frequently.... I would like to include journaling as well, and working the steps of AA. Thanks for reading, this site means so much to me and is very important to my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,588
You've got a lot of good ideas to help keep you from drinking sweetiepie, I hope you put them into play because I know (just like me) when you return to work having not conceded you will feel so much stronger. Yes!
I'm not very good at meditation either but picked up on the link (from Dee) that you mentioned and am going to give it a try too. Psychiatrist in detox/rehab suggested it to me and I scoffed, but not any longer.
Don't worry about how you perceive others impression of you. When you change and demonstrate you no longer drink people begin lay down new memories of you and see you as sober and feel nothing but respect. Those that don't are not your friends.
Keep going sweetiepie. You are a non drinker now, and you are doing great. Eighty eight days for me and I'm surfing every urge. Onwards.
I'm not very good at meditation either but picked up on the link (from Dee) that you mentioned and am going to give it a try too. Psychiatrist in detox/rehab suggested it to me and I scoffed, but not any longer.
Don't worry about how you perceive others impression of you. When you change and demonstrate you no longer drink people begin lay down new memories of you and see you as sober and feel nothing but respect. Those that don't are not your friends.
Keep going sweetiepie. You are a non drinker now, and you are doing great. Eighty eight days for me and I'm surfing every urge. Onwards.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 146
Congrats on 30 days!
I understand about feeling self conscious about how people perceive you. The farther I get from my last binge the more horrified I am by my behavior. I'm working really hard on holding myself in a space of compassion. Going to SMART recovery meetings, therapy, checking in on here (and listening to hours of the Bubble Hour) and processing what I value and how to live sober is really helpful for me on that front.
I understand about feeling self conscious about how people perceive you. The farther I get from my last binge the more horrified I am by my behavior. I'm working really hard on holding myself in a space of compassion. Going to SMART recovery meetings, therapy, checking in on here (and listening to hours of the Bubble Hour) and processing what I value and how to live sober is really helpful for me on that front.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Well done Sweetie
Good on you for aspiring to take the 12 steps.
When it comes to people having decades of unbroken sobriety, the 12 steps are the Gold Standard.
I've met a guy in AA who has been sober for 50 years 🤯
That's 3 years longer than I've been alive.
Swear to God, when you stand next to him, you can just feel this aura of serenity that radiates from him.
Its quite phenomenal.
All the best with your sobriety journey 👍
Good on you for aspiring to take the 12 steps.
When it comes to people having decades of unbroken sobriety, the 12 steps are the Gold Standard.
I've met a guy in AA who has been sober for 50 years 🤯
That's 3 years longer than I've been alive.
Swear to God, when you stand next to him, you can just feel this aura of serenity that radiates from him.
Its quite phenomenal.
All the best with your sobriety journey 👍
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Good job on 30 days of sobriety and it sounds like you're doing good things to help with your recovery. I think it's important to remember that you might need to make other lifestyle changes to support your recovery, such as people you spend time with, activities, social life, that kind of thing. Making some lifestyle changes might help you get past the 30 day mark.
And, guilt and shame are often a huge part of early recovery. It's really hard to be sober and to face the messes that we've made while drinking. But, try to begin forgiving yourself because the shame will bring you down if you let it. And, forgiving yourself doesn't mean forgetting about the messes. It just means putting down the burden of carrying those feelings with you every day. You said you might begin journalling, and that was something that really helped me a lot to deal with the negative feelings.
And, guilt and shame are often a huge part of early recovery. It's really hard to be sober and to face the messes that we've made while drinking. But, try to begin forgiving yourself because the shame will bring you down if you let it. And, forgiving yourself doesn't mean forgetting about the messes. It just means putting down the burden of carrying those feelings with you every day. You said you might begin journalling, and that was something that really helped me a lot to deal with the negative feelings.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,663
Your emotions are waking up, SP.
My shame turned to remorse, anger and fear and pain into actually doing stuff to change, not isolating, and guilt turned to sadness. I think about the crap emotions having an energy I can change into emotions/thoughts/actions that are useful.
For example- anger is better than despair, anger can be turned into productive action....
My shame turned to remorse, anger and fear and pain into actually doing stuff to change, not isolating, and guilt turned to sadness. I think about the crap emotions having an energy I can change into emotions/thoughts/actions that are useful.
For example- anger is better than despair, anger can be turned into productive action....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Congrats on 30 days sweetiepie
I'm not very good at mediating either but urge surfing is more visualisation, Give it a try
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)
I'm not very good at mediating either but urge surfing is more visualisation, Give it a try
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,424
Congratulations on 30 days sweetiepie.
In my SR class, Jan - 2020, we have had some incredible discussions about exactly what you are talking about and it is amazing how many of us have had almost identical symptoms. Almost nowhere in life, other than here on SR, do I come into contact with people that I can have an open discussion with about these things.
Some where between days 30 and 45 I began to really regain strength and a much higher level of concentration.
Just like Anna said, dealing with the guilt was a huge part of early recovery for me. At some point during my drinking career, the guilt associated with prior behavior just seemed to be like a chronic burden that reinforced the addiction to alcohol. While drunk, there was always some new behavior that added to the level of guilt. All the times that I was going to quit and just ended up drinking again that same day, I could never shake the guilt, anxiety, stress, resentment, and other factors that were keeping me locked in. Only after I began to let go of these could I even think about moving past day two or three. Now, after about 60 days, the old guilts are still painful, but at least I can think about them rationally. Many of the stresses, resentments, and sources of anxiety are much less intense that what they were.
In my SR class, Jan - 2020, we have had some incredible discussions about exactly what you are talking about and it is amazing how many of us have had almost identical symptoms. Almost nowhere in life, other than here on SR, do I come into contact with people that I can have an open discussion with about these things.
Some where between days 30 and 45 I began to really regain strength and a much higher level of concentration.
Just like Anna said, dealing with the guilt was a huge part of early recovery for me. At some point during my drinking career, the guilt associated with prior behavior just seemed to be like a chronic burden that reinforced the addiction to alcohol. While drunk, there was always some new behavior that added to the level of guilt. All the times that I was going to quit and just ended up drinking again that same day, I could never shake the guilt, anxiety, stress, resentment, and other factors that were keeping me locked in. Only after I began to let go of these could I even think about moving past day two or three. Now, after about 60 days, the old guilts are still painful, but at least I can think about them rationally. Many of the stresses, resentments, and sources of anxiety are much less intense that what they were.
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