I slipped After 9 months
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
I slipped After 9 months
I made it to 9 1/2 months sober and I slipped. I had two drinks. The not drinking was easy enough but the social isolation was just getting to me and I don’t know why but I’ve got nine months sober before And i slipped then too, there must be something about the nine month mark. At this point I don’t know whether to go back to AA even though I actually don’t want to or try moderate drinking occasionally Or just be sober on my own or what. It’s not like Now I want to go out and start drinking like this is solving all my problems. I just wanted to be out around people. I feel like I sound like such a loser but it’s the truth. Anyways I still got a headache from those two drinks and I’m just as sensitive as ever to alcohol. So even if I did continue it wouldn’t be the same as before there’s never going to be fun partying time ever again with alcohol. The person I was with wasn’t a hard drinker at all in fact I coaxed them into the second drink. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to go back to AA but I really don’t want to be in a position where I’m hurting like I was before like physically going through those withdrawls of alcohol because those were the worst days of my life. So I don’t know maybe I just should be a non-drinker whether I have AA or not. I need to find ways to not isolate so much though because sometimes I feel like I might go crazy. Love to all of you ❤️
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Being a non drinker is good. Almost everyone here is going to tell you the same thing. AA or no AA or whatever it takes, the sooner you quit the easier it is to quit. I think finding different things to do and different routines are among the hardest things we all go through. It isn't easy, but keep trying. It's a lot easier than drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
Posts: 702
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. When I’ve slipped before in the past, I had the same thoughts you did and went with moderation. That never works for an alcoholic. May I ask why you feel isolated? Can you go out to places where alcohol isn’t involved, or order a non-alcoholic beverage?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Making lifestyle changes to support your recovery is so important. I wonder why you feel you have to be isolated because you're not drinking. I do a lot of different things to connect with people and alcohol is not involved. Maybe if you sit down and try to come up with some ideas for activities that don't involve alcohol, it would help. Do you like sports or do you belong to a gym? Maybe you could volunteer in your community? I hope you can find something that suits you.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by LiveLikeGold6 
...there must be something about the nine month mark.
You claim it is social isolation that you can't deal with. But it seem like it's sobriety that you can't deal with, and rationalize social isolation as the reason. You can go out and not drink. You wanted to drink.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by LiveLikeGold6
Yeah no. If you don’t understand why i feel i need alcohol to socialize maybe read up on social anxiety.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I was going pretty crazy at 9 months. Off and on.
I still feel pretty crazy sometimes. Rest assured, it gets easier, but the av morphs.
Since I didn't develop a need for a pill or a meeting, I deal with it.
The crazy always goes away. It slips away and I don't even realize it.
I am prepared to go to a meeting or take a pill if i need to, but for now I do other things.
Exercise is my go to therapy. 30 minutes of ~65% max heart rate gets the job done.
Lifting heavy weight using compound muscle movements does the same thing. This gets the job done even quicker, but I need the cardio for heart health.
It is hard to obsess when I am struggling to breath or stand up with some weight on me.
Plus, I get high from it. The high lasts for several hours. Then I come down, but I still feel a bit ok because I did something good for myself.
In the face of all the issues plaguing us in this world, fitness has to be a foundation move. Part of my personal bedrock.
This will take me into my late 70s. After that, I will need some advice.
I was at a party last night. Not my friends, my wife's. Nobody I know really invites me anywhere. Sad but true.
Anyway...
There were about 30 folks there. Maybe 5 were drinking. I got my food and made my way to a comfy seat outside.
Nobody followed me for about 5 minutes. It was chilly outside and I felt very alone. Socially anxious for sure.
After some time, several people came out to eat. I said hello and ate with them hardly saying word. Still anxious.
I was with them but alone. I did chuckle a bit when they chuckled. I mentioned I was considering giving the dog some table scraps. One guy said no. I didn't. It was awkward.
But, I made it without drinking.
Thanks.
I still feel pretty crazy sometimes. Rest assured, it gets easier, but the av morphs.
Since I didn't develop a need for a pill or a meeting, I deal with it.
The crazy always goes away. It slips away and I don't even realize it.
I am prepared to go to a meeting or take a pill if i need to, but for now I do other things.
Exercise is my go to therapy. 30 minutes of ~65% max heart rate gets the job done.
Lifting heavy weight using compound muscle movements does the same thing. This gets the job done even quicker, but I need the cardio for heart health.
It is hard to obsess when I am struggling to breath or stand up with some weight on me.
Plus, I get high from it. The high lasts for several hours. Then I come down, but I still feel a bit ok because I did something good for myself.
In the face of all the issues plaguing us in this world, fitness has to be a foundation move. Part of my personal bedrock.
This will take me into my late 70s. After that, I will need some advice.
I was at a party last night. Not my friends, my wife's. Nobody I know really invites me anywhere. Sad but true.
Anyway...
There were about 30 folks there. Maybe 5 were drinking. I got my food and made my way to a comfy seat outside.
Nobody followed me for about 5 minutes. It was chilly outside and I felt very alone. Socially anxious for sure.
After some time, several people came out to eat. I said hello and ate with them hardly saying word. Still anxious.
I was with them but alone. I did chuckle a bit when they chuckled. I mentioned I was considering giving the dog some table scraps. One guy said no. I didn't. It was awkward.
But, I made it without drinking.
Thanks.
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
^ no, thank you for sharing. It really does help go hear im not the only one facing certain things. I was just reading on a smart recovery forum about another person’s experience with social anxiety and what they found helpful was looking at social hobbies as necessary hardwork because as ive seen the alternative can wreck our sobriety. But I honestly dont feel too terrible about this slip. It just shows me what was missing from my personal program. Im going forward with full sobriety. Ive read enough stories today about how moderation leads back to over doing it for true alcoholics, which i know i am.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Social anxiety is a real problem - it was one of the first reasons I turned to drinking...yet that same social anxiety never kept me away from a pub or a party.
I'm not saying that to beat you up - it's something I noticed in myself too.
If we can beat social anxiety to go to the pub, it shows we can beat it.or at least bear it sober in other social situations too.
When I got sober I knew I had to build a sober life I loved.
For me that life includes social interaction, but no drinking - if I am awkward socially then so be it. That's the real me. I can;t do better than the real me.
I am social awkward so my social events tend to be with the same small group of people.
If I have to go to something larger I go - I may feel awkward about it - I may even hate it - but I don't drink.
That's not an option.
If drinking was a solution I wouldn't be here on SR, and neither would you or anyone else.
If I'm staying home and isolating its down to me to find and build the social contact I want - without a drinking element.
we've been mates for a while now LLG.
I think your real problem is FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out.
Your addiction fills your head with fear and resentment about never going anywhere or doing anything.
It suggests you'll never have a social life again, sober.
It's up to you to prove that ridiculous notion wrong.
D
I'm not saying that to beat you up - it's something I noticed in myself too.
If we can beat social anxiety to go to the pub, it shows we can beat it.or at least bear it sober in other social situations too.
When I got sober I knew I had to build a sober life I loved.
For me that life includes social interaction, but no drinking - if I am awkward socially then so be it. That's the real me. I can;t do better than the real me.
I am social awkward so my social events tend to be with the same small group of people.
If I have to go to something larger I go - I may feel awkward about it - I may even hate it - but I don't drink.
That's not an option.
If drinking was a solution I wouldn't be here on SR, and neither would you or anyone else.
If I'm staying home and isolating its down to me to find and build the social contact I want - without a drinking element.
we've been mates for a while now LLG.
I think your real problem is FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out.
Your addiction fills your head with fear and resentment about never going anywhere or doing anything.
It suggests you'll never have a social life again, sober.
It's up to you to prove that ridiculous notion wrong.
D
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