Raised by a sociopath.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I feel for you, my mother is very similar, and although I knew that for me to heal I needed to forgive and move on, it doesn't just happen on its own. It's a process and hopefully by talking as you are you are beginning this process. It helps me to realise that the words and actions I craved all my life from my mother were never going to happen, because she is unwell in her own way xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Look at yourself WL ... are you being the absolute 100% best human being that you can be ?
In all facets of life ?
Or has your alcoholism held you back rather a lot in all facets of life ?
Once I could honestly face and answer those questions with regard to myself, the ability to forgive any other addicted persons shortcomings was automatic.
Family blaming was a great cop out, but ultimately it got me absolutely no where.
It just left me chained up in resentment and judgement.
2 of alcoholism's best allies.
So ... I could either choose to stay stuck in those damaging emotions or I could choose to get free of them.
The choice when presented to me like that, was obvious.
I hope you make a good choice. 👍
In all facets of life ?
Or has your alcoholism held you back rather a lot in all facets of life ?
Once I could honestly face and answer those questions with regard to myself, the ability to forgive any other addicted persons shortcomings was automatic.
Family blaming was a great cop out, but ultimately it got me absolutely no where.
It just left me chained up in resentment and judgement.
2 of alcoholism's best allies.
So ... I could either choose to stay stuck in those damaging emotions or I could choose to get free of them.
The choice when presented to me like that, was obvious.
I hope you make a good choice. 👍
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I'm sorry WL. It's obviously very painful for you.
The way I look at it you're a good guy - whatever was going on in your parents heads was their problem.
You are not what they thought you were/are - you're so much more.
I hope you can come to accept that and not carry the burden of other peoples misguided, wrong or just plain cruel ideas.
We can transcend the past, as Steely said - and not drinking is a fundamental part of that transcendent journey, I think.
D
The way I look at it you're a good guy - whatever was going on in your parents heads was their problem.
You are not what they thought you were/are - you're so much more.
I hope you can come to accept that and not carry the burden of other peoples misguided, wrong or just plain cruel ideas.
We can transcend the past, as Steely said - and not drinking is a fundamental part of that transcendent journey, I think.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi WL, I feel for you. I too have a crazy person for a parent and its driving me nuts. In the process of working through it. I hope you find some peace. I'll be honest, I've been advised the best thing to do is let it go and focus on myself. Tough to do, but that is what I am doing.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
