cj203

I need help. Looked at my post history on here and it really hits home that I started in 2016. Seems like a lifetime ago. Only 28 but it seems alcohol has cost me so much over a decade. Relationships with family, friends, and significant others. I drive home every day after work and it's a war in my mind every time I pass a gas station. Sitting here drunk on a Friday night rambling. I don't know

HeadEast

"Only 28 but it seems alcohol has cost me so much over a decade."

I quit when I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink.

least

Be a more frequent poster, come here often, especially before you drink. Come here and tell on yourself so we can try to talk you out of it.

There's a lot of support here, if you just use it.

DaisyBelle7

Don’t let another 10 years go by. I’m 50 and I wish I would’ve quit when I was your age. You can re-build relationships. It’ll take time, but it can be done. How about varying your routine? When I quit smoking, I had to drive home a different way so I wouldn’t be tempted to stop to get cigarettes at the usual places... same applies with alcohol.

Dee74

welcoem back cj

I was able to change my life with the help of the community here.

If the drive home is problematic what about driving home a different way? or committing to things to do Friday night so that you can't just come home from work and drink?

what kind of things have you been doing to try and stay sober? You've got to tip the balance and be doing more things to stay sober rather than to drink.

D

nez

I thought I had a love/hate relationship with alcohol, but sobriety has shown me it was more like Stockholm syndrome. There was no love involved, I was a hostage.

Living alcohol free is true freedom. I can't say enough about it. I gave up nothing...I only gained.

Steely

Good analogy Nez.

I stopped when I wanted sobriety more than I wanted to drink too.

There is no love lost.

Reid82

I think every alcoholic has a love/relationship with the bottle- I sure did. Have you thought about a long term plan on staying sober? Regularly posting here would be a good, first step!

Reid82

You're still very young. I stopped the first time at 31 and then again at 36, which at that point I was very lucky to be still alive. You have a great chance not to go down the rabbit hole further now.

daisy1

Nez I love that analogy of the love you think you have for booze is like Stockholm syndrome, that's helpful thank you.

D122y

There was no love only addiction. It is brain damage and it is permanent. The av will say anything to get a fix.

Education and suffering.

Thanks for the post. Great reminder.

DriGuy

It's only a love/hate relation if you love it and hate it. What you have is an addiction. Calling it love is a misconception. The love/hate relationship probably isn't about alcohol, anyway. It's more likely descriptive of your relationship with yourself. But so much for the psycho babble.

My advice would be to quit drinking. I know that it seems hard. It seems like alcohol is necessary in your life. This is another misconception. For you, alcohol serves only one purpose; It feeds your addiction. It does not lead to joy and contentment. You want it to do that, but you know from experience that it does not. You are confusing what it actually does with what you want it to do. Another misconception. There's even a phrase for this phenomenon. It's called, "chasing the high."

Almost all of us have held these same misconceptions before we saw the light and quit. Where you are right now is a lonely place, you have lost your best friend, which is yourself. You have lost him to an addiction, and replaced him with a little voice in your head that lies and says, "Go on. Have a drink. You'll feel better."

We may be able to help you with this.

Dee74

how's it going cj?

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

I wanted to drink because it made me happy. Until it didn't. Then it started making me sick - and I would always make an idiot out of myself in that state which made everything worse.

Sadly it doesn't get better. Some people just can't drink.